Awwwww

Last week we took the kids out to eat and mentioned to YaYa that it was the same place [Neds] where, as a 5 year old, she cried and wailed when Lisa told her she wouldn't be able to marry me when she grew up. When she was told the story YaYa  nudged me in the ribs and said "The offer still stands Dad." :)

My Thoughts

Absolutely no disrespect to the kid who walked into the Greenfield police station and donated his hard earned $10 in change - great story and  his heart's in the right place -  but where were his parents? Sure, no matter where it goes ten bucks isn't going to move mountains, but if one of my kids wanted to do something like that I'd gently direct them to donate the money where it could do some real good for the community, like the food bank, homeless shelter, etc. Use the moment to educate them about where they can make a difference in the world, even at their age.  Letting your kid walk into a police station and hand over his allowance  seems . . .well, I've leave it at that.

Health Nut

If you go by Lisa's obscene definition of 'healthy', then I guess I made an error by baking chocolate chip cookies for the kids' breakfast.

it wasn't even even breakfast, it was "pre-breakfast snack" I think you called it.... - Lisa

A Shooting in DC

At least 12 dead at the Navy Shipyard in DC; rumored to be two shooters, one or both still on the loose . . .

At least 3000 people in DC are being told to "shelter in place". CBS ID'd one of the gunmen as a Naval officer, then retracted the claim.

Congrats!

Belated congrats to Floyd Mayweather on schooling Canelo Saturday night. :) I was working but followed it round by round on the internet. 

Daddy's Back

Wide-eyed Junie, upon seeing my newly regrown goatee today: "My Daddy's back, my Daddy's back!" then skipped away

You've had it so long, I totally understand her sentiment :) My hubby's back my hubby's back ...lol - Lisa

Taylor Swift Concert, 2011

This is Yaya writing again.

In 2011, my dad was supposed to pick us up to go spend our Super Reader subs coupons. My dad came late, and the whole family had to wait on the porch. Being my normal self, when my dad did pick us up, I had to say something about the wait.

'' Ugh, dude... why'd ya keep us waiting so long? Did you get in an accident along the way or something? '' I said, plopping into the car. My dad turned around, and handed me a piece of paper-

'' I was late because I was picking these up. ''

As soon as I new what the paper was, I squealed. My dad had gotten me tickets to the Taylor Swift concert! Plus, it was in an hour... I didn't have to wait forever! My mom was going with me, too, and that made it even better.

Here's some pics.

Posing by a Taylor Swift Cover Girl ad

Smiling like the Cheshire Cat once we got to our seats

I'm not sure which song this was, but I believe it was ' Back to December ' 

Halfway through the show, Taylor walked down the aisles and got on a spinning tree- playing a BANJO.

At the end of the show. Taylor soared above the crowd in  fake balcony, singing Love Story- even got close to us, and we were in the nosebleed seats. I regret I didn't get a picture of it, but the concert itself was amazing.

The Yanks Return

I've been gaga for days after hearing that my beloved Yanks are returning to Miller Park next year (their last visit was in '05, when an infant Parker had the privilege of watching A-Rod hit his 399th and 400th home runs). I have already informed Team Slap that even if it means skipping the mortgage in May we WILL be there for the three game series, dressed in Yankees apparel and cheering them on to an easy sweep of the Brewers. 

This last point brought protests from Lisa & LuLu, both of whom said they wouldn't go if they had to root against the Crew. "Fine," I said. "You don't have to root for the Yankees . . . but if you don't, you don't eat or drink at the game. I don't feed the opposition." Lisa simply flipped me off and moved on, but Lu wisely caved and was embraced in the loving arms of the Evil Empire . . .

Mayweather-Canelo

Oooeee, I can't wait for the Mayweather-Canelo bout tonight! I wish I wasn't working - and had the $ for the pay per view - so I could watch it live. I hope Floyd puts that ginger on the canvas, but no matter how he does it, Mayweather walks out 45-0.

Roar

Ok, I didn't *want* to like the damn song, but Katy Perry's "Roar" has been bouncing around my head for four days now. You win Katy. (but as for that "natural" look in her video - I think it makes her look ten years older.)

My Yanks are Surging

The Yankees, resurgent since the return of Alex Rodriguez, are a mere one game back from a wild card slot. I hope/pray for the following: that A-Rod takes the Yanks on his shoulders and leads them to the post-season, brings home a ring, and gives a giant "F U" to Selig, Cashman, and the so-called  "Captain", Derek Jeter, who has consistently stolen the accolades and praise that Alex deserves.

A-Rod Update

If he was eligible, A-Rod's OPS (On-Base plus Slugging %) would rank 7th in the AL this year . . oh, and didya notice that after his game tying home run last night he made a "zip it" motion to a fan that had been mouthing off to him during the at bat? BEAUTIFUL. :)

A-Rod has been walked three times tonight, at least once intentionally . . . I 'ppreciate the respect, but let the man hit!

A Wasted Day

A wasted day. A morning appointment ran long, right up to the time we had to pick up the kids from school. So it was a dash across town to grab them, then a quick dinner of jambalaya, followed by . . . .really, nothing else. I did tape 'X Factor' so there's something to retrospectively recommend this day, but otherwise BLEH.

MNF

Thank you ESPN and the Houston Texans. That was a mighty fine end to Monday Night Football.

The New Arsenio Show

We just finished watching the premiere of the new Arsenio talk show. Now I remember why I didn't like the original. Arsenio tells one funny joke then tanks six but still laughs at every one, mentions his "friend Eddie Murphy" every half hour, and just bores me. Still, maybe he's just rusty. We'll see.

I kinda liked it...kinda, lol - Lisa

Fantasy Football Update

Unless Victor Brown racks up 74.95 points tonight for my opponent, the Sad Sack Slapjacks have started the season 1-0. Booyah! (current score: 139.25 to 64.30)

{Fred resolves to try Google Translate to see if it speaks Football. }

Fred, I keep telling you that a basic knowledge of sports is social lubricant and necessary for happiness.

A New Routine

I walked the kids to school this morning. It's only about 1/3 of the distance (one-way) of their old stomping grounds, but it'll still be a nice addition to our routine. Oh - and once again, no ACL pain whatsoever. Whoot-whoot!

What If?

Controversial opinion of the day: Germany is remembered as the big "bad guy" of the 20th century, and it's a title they deserve. But did it have to be that way? Let's go back to late 1914, at the start of what *should* have been another one of the continental spats that let off steam between the contemporary superpowers. It seemed over from the start, with Germany swinging into France via Belgium and closing in on Paris, and then . . . . 

And then. 

King Leopold of Belgium, knowing his army was outmatched and doomed, sacrificed it in a delaying action against the Germans. Aside from the fact that no one wants to just roll over and let the other guy win, Leopold was acting to fulfil a British demand to buy time for their own forces. As the Kaiser found out, Leopold was a man of his word. 

The Germans were delayed, the push on Paris faltered, and a minor conflict morphed into the first World War. What's more, the German's didn't react very well to Belgian obstinacy, and their reprisals created a stream of (exaggerated) propaganda that fed Allied sentiment and eventually helped eroded American isolationism. 

So in many ways, ol' King Leopold is the true hero of the war. Right? Perhaps. 

But let's think about an alternative view. 

Say Leopold had thumbed his nose at the British and chose to grant Germany passage through Belgium, while providing only enough resistance to keep his honor - and his country - intact. What may have happened? 

France would have fallen, the British, who at the time had very little in the way of land forces in Europe, would have bowed out and the Western Front would have been over and done. While subsequent decades rightfully give you pause at the idea of German occupation, the evidence of prior continental wars (such as the German victory over France in the 1870's) would suggest that a German victory in 1914, in all likelihood, would leave behind a Europe that looked an awful lot like the Europe of 1913. 

Instead, we have WWI, with ten million dead and nearly forty million wounded or missing. We have the inevitable sequel, in which 73 million died in the time between the invasion of China and VJ Day. We have the fall of the Czar and the rise of a barbaric political system that murdered millions and enslaved billions more across Europe and Asia. We have all the dead of proxy wars in Vietnam, Korea, Afghanistan, and elsewhere. We have the collapse of political systems throughout Europe and the loss of their colonies, with all the internal warfare and famine that created. We have the Holocaust, which begat Israel, which in turn enflamed the Middle East and may well lead to the next world war. 

It's hard to imagine a German victory in 1914 spawning anything remotely resembling the horror that was the 20th century. 

So I ask you - is Leopold the hero of the First World War . . . or the grand villain of the 20th century?

You should be grateful King Leopold did delay the German march toward France, because without WWII, it's almost guaranteed Melissa would not have been born. 

Melissa's Grandpa K was 21 when he joined the Marines on Dec. 8th 1941 (day after Pearl Harbor) and didn't marry Mom until 1946 (1947?). I am not sure if they met before the war or after, but either way, things would have been different.

Had they not met before the war, given Dad was 21, he certainly would have found someone else in those 4-5 years. Thus no Dennis K (and me either) and no Melissa. If they did know each other before the war, they probably would have started a family 4-5 years sooner and Dennis would have graduated H.S. in 1960 instead of 1964. He would not have joined the Marines to fight in Viet Nam, cause there was no war at that time. He would have probably never met Jeanne and thus no Melissa. 

On a Macro level, no WWII, the US would not have built the Atomic bomb (Germany very well could have), and the US would not have been the first to land on the moon.

Butterfly effect is a nice way to exercise the mind though. - Lisa's Uncle Bruce K

Cal Worthington

Cal Worthington, a West Coast car dealer who was famous for his TV commercials - and far more importantly was used more than once as a question on The Match Game - has died at 92. RIP sir, Match Game fans thank you for your service.

A-Rod tonight: 2 for 4 with a home run

Time to Grow some Facial Hair

I've been without facial hair for a month or more, but I think that's about to come to an end. I've got a days worth of stubble now, and I'm too lazy to shave.

I'm so used to your facial hair, I kind of like it on you. But not on my spouse. LOL - Grandma J

An Update on the Thumb

Re: the thumb. Lisa took the stitches out a few days ago (only rich fools  go to the doctor for that; buy tweezers and manicure scissors at the dollar store and be done with it). The cut itself is a big valley like mess that I blame on the medical intern as much as the injury, but wth, it'll match my stretch marks. I think the thumbnail will be salvaged. I do worry about the fractures though. The thumb still hurts and I can't bend it completely. Worse yet the tip is oddly numb, making it hard to grasp and open a potato chip bag, which is g'damn unacceptable. Still, all in all I'm happy. :)

GREAT play on Sunday Night Football on NBC! But I'm sure I'm not telling you anything you don't know, since you're watching it too .. . . oh, wait? Are you on Time Warner Cable? Are you still subject to the blackout? Aww, poor bunky. Switch to U-Verse already, ya Neanderthals. ;)

The BVCC Food Pantry Walk

This morning my daughters and I took part in a charity walk benefiting the food bank at the local community center. It was the first real test of my knee since tearing my ACL three months ago, and I am pleased to report that there wasn't so much as a hint of pain :) 

Junie lasted all of about .3 of a mile before throwing a fit, but luckily I had Lisa on standby and she drove and picked her up. YaYa, LuLu, and I finished the walk on our own, and had a nice entertaining conversation along the way.Then it was a nap, Mass, and soon dinner with friends here at home . . .

25 Years of Hangin' Tough

25 years ago today the monumental NKOTB album "Hangin' Tough" was released. Please, bow your heads in awe of the occasion. :)

A - drafting Peyton Manning in my fantasy draft was not my worst idea ever and B - of the 19 members of the part-time law school program two have already dropped out

Racist Bus Driver?

This!

30 Years Gone

30 years ago,on the night of 9/2/83, I crawled into bed beside my Grandpa. I woke up the next morning and discovered that he'd died next to me in the middle of the night. 

Without question, it was one of the most awful - and pivotal - days of my young life. It was never about the manner of his death, but about losing HIM. In many ways his loss shaped who I was to become.

It's hard to believe that today marks THREE decades since that morning, but time has a habit of marching on and leaving both the good and the bad in the distance.

 RIP Little Grandpa, and thanks for the time we did have together!

Junie = Tough

Junie just came down the stairs. "Guess wat? I stepped on a piece o' glass, and it got stuck in my foot but it's ok cuz I got it out myself." We were about to rattle off a standard "That's nice honey," when she brought out the paper towel she'd used to wipe off her foot. It had a fair amount of blood on it, like that of a minor nose bleed. She dug out a chunk of glass and cleaned it up herself without so much as asking for help, much less crying. For a six year old, that kid is one bad a*s b**ch. :)

Sad but True

Sad but LOL (and true): We went looking (just looking) at new washers today, and time after time Lisa walked away from a model in disgust. "What's this 'made in America' crap? We don't know how to build things anymore. Where's all the good Chinese stuff?" she said.

Tommy Morrison

RIP Tommy Morrison, age 44, a former Heavyweight champion and star of "Rocky 5". He's had HIV for years, but the cause of death was not yet announced.

Rabbit Food

We just finished a dinner of fresh vegetables and salad . . I don't know what to say. It was lettuce and green things for dinner. For DINNER people. WTH???

What's this "we" crapola?! You refused to eat...it was me and the kids that sat down to veggies and salad for dinner, and it was delish! - Lisa

I had two bowls! - Me

Neighbor Drama

The neighbor's teenage son went a little haywire and started smashing the ceramic pots on his Mom's porch. Lisa told him to knock it off, he mouthed off to Lisa and walked towards her,  I got  in his face and said some things, etc Turns out he's angry because he knocked up his girlfriend. Boo-hoo. Now you wrecked your Mom's porch, pissed off your neighbor, got your neighbor's 300 pound husband in your grill, and, oh yeah - your girlfriend's still pregnant. Well played kid.

Lemonade!

My kids have a lemonade stand in front of our house. If you are living in or visiting our area, and are unwilling to see the dreams of a six year old girl ground into the mud, then please - STOP BY.

Update: They scored about $10 bucks, divided 4 each to the Bookends, 2 bucks to Smiley.

KAL Flight 007

30 years ago this weekend the Soviet Union shot down KAL Flight 007, an unarmed 747 passenger flight that had wandered into their airspace. All 269 people aboard were killed, and their bodies never returned to their loved ones. I remember this happening, and I remember asking my Mom permission to stay up and watch Nightline because I thought there was a good possibility we'd be going to war. To the passengers and crew murdered by what truly was an Evil Empire, RIP.

The First EVER day of Public School for the whole of Team Slap!!!

Ok, I posted it way late. But better late than never!

Caveat: Junie attended a public montessori school in K3, and Smiley was in a speech program at a public school for k3 as well.  But *as a family* this is an inaugural day!!

Seamus Heaney

Seamus Heaney, the great Irish poet that I had the pleasure to hear give a reading, has passed away at 74. RIP :(

Halloween 2012

Here's some pictures from last Halloween (2012)

(This is YaYa writing by the way)

I went as Katniss from Hunger Games- I still had my cast at the time. Lulu went as Tragedy Ann. Note that my dad made the wig- just yarn and a knee-sock. It looks just as good as the one that sells for $18.50.

 Smiley went as a ninja- not the traditional one, obviously. Junie- smiling happily with her make-up on- went as Cinderella. 

After we went to school, we put our make-up on and headed to the Halloween Hoopla- a party that we attend every year. 

 Junie, playing a game. She must have won it ten times. 

And there I am- dancing Gangnum style, even with my cast on.  And here I am practising my archery at home. 

The next day we went trick-or-treating.

Junie, her bucket filled with candy.

  LuLu and her friend

  It was a great Halloween!

An Update on the Thumb

I think my thumb looks a lot better. Yes, I agree with Lisa that it looks like a Home Ec student sewed it,and there's blood blisters and the busted wiggly nail blah blah. BUT I really do think its healing. I object strongly to Lisa saying it looks "gross" and that helping me change the bandage was going to "make her throw up".

 Uh, I watched four vaginal births and was forced by our culture to call the sight "beautiful" - which, I assure you, it is not - so I think she can deal with looking at a busted thumb. :)

Another Writer Here?

Between work/marriage/family/home/law school I don't have time for much, and I fear that Slapinions was feeling neglected. Sooooo . . . I have offered co-author duties to YaYa, who will fill in on *family* events as requested while leaving the occasional rant and review to me. She was awfully squeamish her first time out of the gate, but I've seen the kids writing: once she's past the jitters, she'll put out nice, readable copy for y'all. :)

Ivan R: Oh wow YaYa has a big responsibility now. You know what they say "With great power comes great responsibility" she's always been good on writing she would always write more than me during class time because I like writing too but no one in my family likes writing but me so I'm not sure if what I write is good or bad haha

Lisa: Ivan, that's a spiderman quote...awesome :)

Ivan R: Indeed it is I'm surprised you knew that:)

My First Day of Law School

My first day of law school is officially in the books :)

Two thumbs up! . . . Oh, sorry. - Fred

A-Rod's line

A-Rod yesterday: 2-4 with a walk, a home run, and 1 RBI.

650!!

Congrats to Alex Rodriguez on his 650th career home run!

I wrecked my thumb!

When I went to start the lawnmower this morning the starter cable broke loose and spent all its stored energy slamming into my hand. I broke my left thumb in multiple places, got three stitches and a tetanus shot. My thumbnail was black by the time I got back in the house, and there was some talk of removing it to get at a cut beneath it, but they let that be, to which I sincerely say "Whew." They still said the nail will probably fall off, which icks me out.  

How'd the kids take the injury? While I was stemming the bleeding Smiley asked me to burn him a CD,  Junie wanted to know if she could wear a pink batting helmet in lieu of a bike helmet, and YaYa argued with me before she'd loan me tape to wrap the gauze, then stressed that she wanted it back "the minute" I was done. Good Christians I'm raising LOL

On Miley Cyrus

I'm not sure what's up with people hating on Miley Cyrus' VMA performance. Sexually explicit? Sure. But hot, and entertaining, and the last time I checked she's over 18 and can can prance around in a tan bikini and twerk to her heart's content..  I think she 'wins' for most memorable act of this year's show. As to the 30 second N'SYNC reunion - why bother? I've had yawns that have lasted longer. I rate that as a fail.

update: Ack. I must be growing more tolerant in my middle age. It's one thing for people on FB to dislike Cyrus' performance and give their two cents on their page - that's fine - but the string of condescending/derogatory/insulting/virulently hateful comments that have been left on public FB accounts (news feeds, etc)  is nauseating.

This earns your ire? Not violence in Chicago, the collapse of Detroit, or the working poor; no, a *partially clad woman* is a your bellwether of the End Times.

Worst of all are the comments from  men I know would be happy to insult her and call her a slut -- and then sleep with her and go home to their wife. Enjoy your hypocrisy America.

She's laughing all the way to the bank! - Lisa

My Draft

In the middle of my fantasy football draft. About as much fun as . . . well, not much fun at all. A social obligation necessary to keep your man card in 2013, but I've no love for it.

My Draft Results - ignore Pitta, who's out for the year. We have to drop one player and leave the slot open for the expansion draft, so he's it for me. 

Peyton Manning Den - QB New Player Note

Thu 7:30 pm vs Bal 

306.15 92% 400 183 4659 37 11 2 2 6 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 2

 

Mike Williams TB - WR New Player Note

Sun 12:00 pm @ NYJ 

176.48 42% 1 0 28 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 63 996 9 3 0 0 0

 

Sidney Rice Sea - WR Player Note

Sun 12:00 pm @ Car 

132.68 14% 1 1 25 0 0 0 0 6 0 0 50 748 7 1 0 0 0

 

Victor Cruz NYG - WR Player Note

Sun 7:30 pm @ Dal 

194.70 94% 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 86 1092 10 2 0 0 0

 

Maurice Jones-Drew Jac - RB New Player Note

Sun 12:00 pm vs KC 

67.50 88% 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 414 1 1 14 86 1 0 0 0 0

 

BenJarvus Green-Ellis Cin - RB New Player Note

Sun 12:00 pm @ Chi 

155.30 22% 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1094 6 0 22 104 0 0 0 0 2

 

Dennis Pitta Bal - TE No new player Notes

Thu 7:30 pm @ Den 

126.15 6% 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 61 669 7 1 0 0 0

 

Shonn Greene Ten - RB New Player Note

Sun 12:00 pm @ Pit 

171.15 4% 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1063 8 0 19 151 0 0 0 0 1

 

Philip Rivers SD - QB New Player Note

Mon 9:20 pm vs Hou 

191.55 5% 338 189 3606 26 15 2 2 40 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 7

 

Rob Gronkowski NE - TE New Player Note

Sun 12:00 pm @ Buf 

155.75 50% 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 55 790 11 0 0 0 1

 

Darrius Heyward-Bey Ind - WR New Player Note

Sun 12:00 pm vs Oak 

106.45 3% 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 16 0 0 41 606 5 2 0 0 0

 

Zach Sudfeld NE - TE Player Note

Sun 12:00 pm @ Buf 

0.00 22% - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    Fantasy Field Goals Made Field Goals Missed PAT

Edit Kickers Fan Pts % Start 0-19 20-29 30-39 40-49 50+ 0-19 20-29 30-39 40-49 50+ Made Miss

 

David Akers Det - K No new player Notes

Sun 12:00 pm vs Min 

135.50 59% 1 8 11 7 2 0 1 2 6 4 44 0

 

Shayne Graham Cle - K No new player Notes

Sun 12:00 pm vs Mia 

152.00 11% 1 8 11 7 4 0 0 0 2 5 45 0

    Fantasy Tackles Turnovers TD Miscellaneous Ret

Edit Defense/Special Teams Fan Pts % Start Pts Allow Sack Safe TFL Int Fum

Rec TD Blk

Kick 4 Dwn

Stops 3 And

Outs TD

 

Denver Den - DEF No new player Notes

Thu 7:30 pm vs Bal 

324.75 87% 275 52.0 2 83 16 8 6 1 11 60 2

 

San Diego SD - DEF No new player Notes

Mon 9:20 pm vs Hou

School Hair

A great benefit to the kids going to public school this year: Lisa just dyed Junie and LuLu's hair blue - well, blue *streaked* and YaYa has resurrected the bleached highlights that soooooo bothered her principal last year. And in a single rummage sale shop we scored Smiley a school years worth of high end shirts . . . for $10 (50 cents a pop). Boom!

they are...I need to post pic of LuLu's ....it's brown, then switches to blond, light turquoise, dark turquoise...that's what she wanted and I managed to come pretty close. She was impressed :) - Lisa

Braun's Botched Apology

Braun's apology sucked. What a standard issue PR pro written piece that STILL made him sound like a dick. He should have spoke the truth: "Yeah, I used PED's. I had a big contract, and I didn't want to under-perform and screw over my teammates or piss off the fans - guess I didn't do that last part right after all. Still, you got your money's worth watching me right? And sure, I through that urine collector under the bus, but you know how it is. You get caught doing wrong, your first instinct isn't to come clean, it's to lie and dodge the bullet. That's the part I really do feel bad about. I shouldn't have done that to the guy, but OTOH he still violated procedure and deserved to get canned. Still, my bad"

COMMENTER: I agree, I find his apology "empty", but, A-Rod is in the same boat as Braun, no denying it!

ME: Nonsense - Braun has intentionally and maliciously destroyed a man's career by, among other things, using Braun's own religion as a lever to accuse him of anti-Semitism. There's nothing in Alex's tale that is as deliberately douchey. Besides, Braun wasn't any good as a 3rd baseman while A-Rod is.

Alex is vilified because a) he signed a huge contract for big $, and if there's one thing American's secretly despise its a true Horatio Alger story b) he had the temerity to earn that money while being the the best player on the planet (not named Bonds) for a team that sucked (TX) c) he joined the Yankees d) among Yankee fans, he is not considered a 'true' Yankee because he was not around for Torre's run nor did he come up through their system e) he cheated on his wife, which, as you know, no other ballplayer has EVER done.

Junie Cracks an Insult

Junie's version of a wicked insult: "Oh yeah? You can't see in the dahk, cuz youuuuuu nevah eat carrots!"