The Second Post about my Ideology April 8th

Several months ago I wrote a senseless little ditty about my personal ideology.

Now, if you 're inclined to believe my sarcastic and occasionally shifty writing, I published it because it was important to know what an author "truly believed about the things that mattered."

Yeah.

In other words, I was stumped and discovered a neat way to fill space.

Déjà vu, baby.

In my defense, however, you can glean bits and pieces of a man's character from the tidbits I covered: Do I prefer The Godfather or Scarface? DC or Marvel? Conan or Leno?

By my choice of the Godfather you can tell I have a love of epic drama and family loyalty.

By my preference for DC you can assume I'm a traditionalist.

And by choosing Conan you can safely say I have a fetish for tall slim men with red hair. . .

Okay, maybe my theory has a few holes.

But it still fills up a page.

So, may I present to you My Rambling List of Personal Ideology, Ranging from the Divine to the Absurd, with Little Order and Even Less Sense, vol. Two.

I do not believe in fortune-telling or the zodiac.

Even so, I am a Pisces who often has big, creative dreams with little to show for it. And shortly before our introduction a psychic dismissed my wife's hopes for her current beau. Instead, she said my wife would soon meet and marry a very large dark haired man with a strong ethnic background.

Said psychic did not, however, mention my near constant plumbers crack.

I believe raising a child is by far the hardest job in the world.

I think that somewhere in this vast universe there exists other intelligent life, but I refuse to believe they confine their visits to people named Dwayne and Elmira.

Toilet paper rolls should be loaded overhand.

This is not up for debate.

I would take a beat-up Ford over a new Chevy any day.

Fifty years ago a Disney movie featured a wicked queen who demanded the heart of her stepdaughter in a box, a bunch of armed dwarves that chased the queen to her death, and a morbid funeral vigil.

Now kids grow up watching cartoons where no one is hurt, not even if Cobra Commander shoots down their plane in the middle of a battle.

Yet which group seemsmore violent to you?

I prefer Star Trek to Star Wars, but admit that Lucas' epics were cool - when I was eight.

I have no problem eating cows, fish, or pigs, but chicken bones freak me out.

The income tax didn't kick in until around WWI. How did the government make money before that, and why can't we ask for a do-over?

I can't remember the last time I had sex with the lights off.

At one time, I was bitter that Elmo so completely took over as Sesame Street's king.

I love Tony Randall, but I never bought the idea that Felix Unger was straight.

I prefer plastic to paper, and look down upon those indecisive peons who answer 'paper and plastic'.

If eliminating carbs is truly the key to weight loss, I'm screwed.

Given the chance, I know Jo Frost, aka Supernanny, would choose to stay in my 'naughty corner' all night long.

I think the character of Jack on Lost is the epitome of who I'd like my son to be.

I believe 'smooth jazz' is to jazz what show tunes are to death metal.

And, finally, and most importantly:

Forget asteroids. Worry about the super volcano under Yellowstone.

 

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