Random Musings

Yeah, so I spent all day Saturday either having a panic attack or dealing with the after effects of one.

Don't worry, this won't become one of those 'let me drone daily about my illness' blogs. I don't have the stomach to read them, and if you have half a life you don't either.

But yes, occasionally I do get panic attacks, ala Tony Soprano, although I had mine before the show made it macho, and I have yet (knock on wood) to pass out like a ninny.

They never seem to hit during an event. Not ever, not once, during scary/stressful/emotional times. In the thick of the moment I'm calm, more or less even-headed, and capable of action, even if it's just running away :)

That goes for the horrendous fatal accident I witnessed at work, and the time - the first and hopefully only time - I was 100 ft from walking straight into the crossfire of a gunfight. You name it, I think I could handle it.

But after the fact, when all is calm and there is nothing to stress me out in the least . . ..well, then I'm a basket case.

This has been a very stressful week at work, and topping it off I've felt myself pull away from my diet (I've lost 37 pounds since May 17th).

So Saturday I'm standing in line at McDonalds buying the kids a Happy Meal (with Apple Dippers and milk, thank you) when I look over and see a guy who sorta/kinda looks like me in the face, but is a good 200 pounds heavier than my current 309.

And I almost passed out.

My heart started racing so fast I could hear it in my ears, my jaw clenched unconsciously, my head began to spin, I broke out in a cold sweat, my breath became ragged (and after a few minutes of that, my chest began to ache too).

Somehow I drove home, announced to my wife what was happening, and laid down.

Once I managed to 'break' the attack, I fell asleep.

For four hours in the middle of the day.

I was pretty much an a** for the rest of the day, as these things drive my anxiety through the roof, and I have no time or patience for even the smallest of annoyances.

Now I have to think that the sight of this guy was kind of a warning bell for me, telling me to stick out the diet, er, lifestyle change, and my body reacted to make me aware of the notion.

But there's gotta be a better way . . .

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Busy month. The Great Slapinions vacation is coming up in four days, I have a book review due tommorow and have yet to read the final 500 pages, and I'm desperately trying to shut down the stress at work.

Yum.

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Was I the only person in the world who cared that Travelocity's Roaming Gnome was replaced by a human being? I'm so happy - and embarrased at my dorkiness - that it's all part of an advertising gimmick cooked up by Travelocity.

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Tune in to Bravo's Law & Order Criminal Intent marathon, which runs weekly each Sunday begining at 6 central. It's the only L&O I actually enjoy, and it ranks right up there with my favorite shows. The lead character (Broken Neck, as he was once called) is part Sherlock Holmes, part Columbo.

Did I ever mention I love Columbo too?

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AOL is still feeling the effects of the Great Exodus following the installation of banner ads across the journals.

I never gave a rat's a** about the ads, but I'm sad to see so many AOL journals fold up shop. Check out my sidebar for AlpahWoman's new address.

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Speaking of AOL, how about making a comment function on the journals that isn't tied to having an AIM or AOL screename, ala Blogger's 'other' comment function? Would that hurt the bottom line in VA? I don't think so.

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Coming up on an election and I'll try to slam out a piece giving my opinion on the WI races. Shame the wrong party might just take the House this year.

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Til Later