google.com, pub-4909507274277725, DIRECT, f08c47fec0942fa0 Slapinions: March 13th thru the Ides of March

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Wednesday, May 26, 2010

March 13th thru the Ides of March

March 13th:

* I'm waiting to pick something up off of Craigslist. The last email? "You can come at 11 and pick it up". Yeah, uh, howsabout at some point you give me a phone # or say, an *address* so I can do that.[this was a sewing machine for Lisa. It worked great for nearly a month, then went kaput]

* My intense common sense/demands u stop right there/hearin' bout your missionary style/does not make me smile/no no/I get sweaty as a sauna/when I think of you up on'a/uh-uh/I don't mean to hate/but you ugly folk should masturbate - Danielle Fischel on The Dish

* Finished 'Gone for Good', the first novel I've read by Harlan Coben. It's a good read and a solid page turner. Still, while one twist or turn is great, an endless parade of them (all more extreme than the last) gnaws away at the all important suspension of disbelief. Unless you're watching The Sting. Then it's cool.

March 14th:

* Actor Peter Graves passes away. RIP.

* [re: a hypothetical Pujos-Howard trade] The logic in the article is persuasive, but I don't see it happening. Howard's #'s will fall off a cliff in a few years, and assuming a) you can afford Pujols and b) he's not outed for steroids (hint hint nudge nudge) Albert's the better option.

The Ides of March:

* "I want to be remembered when I'm dead. I want books written about me. I want songs sung about me. And then, hundreds of years from now, I want episodes of my life to be played out weekly at half past nine by some great heroic actor of the age." - Happy International Blackadder Status Day!

* Archaeologists Find 40,000-Year-Old Tools at Tasmanian Construction Site

* TV quote of the morning: "I *do* have oily skin. I'm 30 years old and I still look F---ing 22. 'Cuz I have oily f---ing skin." - Raven on Rupaul's Drag Race

* [on the 25th anniversary of the dot-com] Happy annivesary, you beautiful user-friendly web addy you!

* If word gets out that I'm missing, 500 girls will kill themselves and I wouldn't want them on my conscience - not when they ought to be on my face! - Happy International Blackadder Status Day!

* Good news: Smiley's cast will come off at 9 a.m. on my birthday. Bad news: one of LuLu's fish was obviously dying, and so I fed him to our turtle (circle of life and all). I had Smiley and Ginger say a prayer over him as they were a bit too gleeful over the feeding bit. He was a good fish, nothing more than a 30 cent feeder that's lasted since last May. RIP noble swimmer.

* The Bucks' Andrew Bogut was named Eastern Conference Player of the Week

* Woman aims to become world's fattest

"In order to pay for the enormous amounts of food she is eating — her weekly grocery bill is $815 — Ms Simpson makes money by running a website where men pay to watch her consume fast food." As Lisa said - that's just sad.

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