Disney Day 1 Continued . . .

So after Dumbo I passed on the news that neither the Haunted Mansion nor Pirates of the Caribbean had Fast Pass options, we decided to stroll around for awhile, and stopped in a Princess themed shop behind Cinderella's castle. Even after years of buying the stuff, I was blown away at the sheer scope of all the Princess related items for sale in the world . .

(by the way - in the movie Cinderella marries the Prince, thus inheriting the title. How is it the castle's in her name?)

We also stopped to watch a show in front of the castle where Donald Duck defeats Melificent by having the crowd chant "Dreams come true!" over and over.

After a few minutes we decided to bite the bullet and head over to PhilhaMagic, the event for which I had FastPass tickets. I should say I was reluctant - Lisa had read about it and was gung-ho.

And brother, she was right! It's a 3-D movie starring Donald Duck. Donald loses Mickey's Sorcerror's Apprentice hat, setting off a wild search for it across scenes from famous Disney movies. Trust me, that description fails to do it justice - it really was excellent and a joy to behold! We were quick to say we wanted to see it again.

The most magical part: watching LuLu reach in vain to catch the objects 'headed' towards us from the screen!

We then headed over to the It's a Small World Ride, which Lisa was disappointed that I didn't remember from our honeymoon. In truth, after viewing the ride I did remember bits and pieces of riding it in '96, but by then the damage was done.

The ride's very kitchy, and you have to steel yourself against 5 straight minutes of the "It's a Small World" melody, but the kids liked it a lot, and I thought the Oriental section was very sharp.

As the streets began to be blocked off for the evening parade we took advantage of the roadblocks by heading over to the now near-empty lines for Snow White's Scary Adventures, a ride which recapped some of the scarier moments from the 1938 film.

 

It was rather dark, certainly darker than you'd expect for a Snow White ride, until you recall how somber parts of the film were - there were different expectations for kids back then I guess.

It was an attractive ride, but LuLu was terrified and I spent most of the ride calming her down. Afterwards YaYa was quick to volunteer to go again (I think mainly to torture LuLu) and Lu just freaked out! She and I stayed behind and browsed a nearby shop while my two oldest Ladies headed for a return visit.

Then it was on to The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh.

It was really quite good, with a hypnotic Dali section based on a dream sequence, and a neat 'bouncing' effect when you encounter Tigger. Thumbs up!

We headed back into PhilharMagic for round two, this time sitting in back. It was just as good the second time!

We finally headed over to Pirates of the Caribbean only to discover it had been shut down in the last hour because of technical problems! Man, the one thing I wanted to see!

So we kept walking through AdventureLand and wound up above the park in the Swiss Family Treehouse. I only saw it at night, when the view is anything but great, so my opinion of it might be flawed. Even so I thought it was kinda lame (even though it's right up my alley) but YaYa seemed to like it.

Lotta stairs, let me tell ya.

By this time we were starving, our last meal having come . . . well, I don't know when.

It became kind of a pain finding something to eat, but we stumbled across a place that offered halfway decent casual fare with a Spaceship feel called Cosmic Ray's Starlight Café.

On the way out the door the nightly fireworks show started.

The kids loved them

 and they were some of the best I've seen - and Milwaukee's a big fireworks town.

The fireworks closed the park for the day and we found ourselves at the tail end of thousands of people leaving for the day. The incredible weight of people was overwhelming, as was the long wait for our bus.

We got home to the hotel, watched some TV, and that was it.

Our first day of vacation was over.

Oh, one last thing I'd forgotten to mention: on the way to the park, these words came out of LuLu: "Hey, guys, I got an idea. Let's find Mickey Mouse and all take a picture together!"

Sorry Folks

Hey, we're back in Milwaukee. Sorry for the week-long hiatus but I ran short of time in DisneyWorld and on the ship internet access was a paltry $99 . . which meant, uh, yeah, no internet :)

Expect long-winded updates for the next few days! Enjoy.

Our Disney Vacation Pt 2

So we got to the Magic Kingdom around 4 o'clock and walked right into the park as the first leg of the parade passed right in front of us!

Here's where I instantly loved the vacation: my girls are at just the perfect age for Disney. They're old enough to appreciate it, and young enough to be in awe.

The moment that parade started they were happy; the minute they saw their first Princess they were overjoyed. LuLu was yelling hello to the characters and went nuts for Mickey, who she personally believes responsible for our vacation.

Here's those much adored Princesses:

When YaYa saw Ariel for the 1st time she was so happy she began to cry! I have it on video, but sadly only the vocal is there, as I couldn't aim the screen in the glare of the sun. But her voice, choked with emotion, yelling "I saw Ariel!" will forever rank among The Best Moments Ever.

Heck, the Mrs. and I began to tear up at their joy.

From there we moved on with a goal in mind, tho' for the life of me I don't recall what it was. Probably because we didn't make it there :)

We were sidetracked by the Mad Tea Party's spinning teacups:

Brother, I can make those teacups spin!

Our next stop was another unintentional one, Airel's Grotto, a water playground where we waited some 45 minutes in line to get the Little Mermaid's autograph. It was ok. The girls had a blast getting soaking wet, and besides Airel's YaYa's favorite Princess.

The Little Mermaid complimented my wife's hair and entertained the girls. You might notice the autograph books she signed for the girls. 10 years ago, on our honeymoon, people thought we were a freak for taking the book around to the characters. Nowadays it's 1000% times more mainstream; heck, we picked the books off of Ebay.

One other thing we got on Ebay was a Pal Mickey, a stuffed animal you wear around your neck. As you travel the park it lets you know where you are and what lies in store for you. It doesn't seem as popular as advertised on Disney Tip sites, as we had one of the few I saw around the parks.

We then hit the carasol (sp?) which is pretty self-explanatory.

After that we faced a problem. LuLu REALLY wanted to ride the Dumbo ride, and we'd already put it off for Ariel, etc. But the line was super long. Therefore we split up: Lisa took the girls while I was sent with the stroller to scout out future locations.

I made journeys as far south as Pirates of the Carribean, and scouted the Haunted Mansion and Liberty Square.

In Liberty Square I saw the Liberty Tree Tavern, a great dining establishment I fondly recalled from our honeymoon. Sadly, they were all booked up.

Ages later the family regrouped.

Here's the pics from the Dumbo ride:

I'm told it was a 45 minute wait for a 30 second ride, but what the heck.

I should mention that on my travels I'd obtained a FastPass ticket for Mickey's PhilHarMagic. That'll be important later on.

But that will wrap it up for tonight, as a) that's all the pics I've uploaded so far and b) there's a long day ahead of us.

I'll try to post more of the trip as it progresses.

Hope everyone back home is well!

 

Our Disney Vacation Pt 1

We woke up at 4 a.m, loaded up the car, and headed to my work, where we got a free ride to the airport.

YaYa was already feeling a little nervous, and going through airline security didn't help (they took away their juice boxes, yet somehow missed the 2nd set of the boxes in a different carry-on).

It was a pretty easy wait until the flight, as the gate was right across from a play area. One problem when we boarded tho': we were scattered around the plane in rows 13, 15, and 17.

Not a good idea to put a 3 year old by herself next to a stranger. Thankfully the stewardess got a woman to switch seats, and I wound up next to LuLu with YaYa and Lisa behind us.

LuLu was perfectly calm and 'la de da', but YaYa was a bit nervous. As she would say later "I was kinda worried we would crash, but part of me knew we wouldn't"

Let me tell ya, it went MUCH smoother than I had expected. The girls were in good spirits and experienced no physical discomfort during the flight (their Mom has problems with her ears in flight; YaYa had a little of that, LuLu - like her Dad - none at all)

They both liked the bathroom, and the soda and snacks (tho' YaYa spilled her soda!) Much of the flight was spent coloring

And LuLu quizzed me about what this and that was in the pictorial flight saftey instructions. After each answer she'd say in a sooo cute voice: "Good job Daddy!"

Lu did freak out when the plane began descent. Thankfully it was a mild episode, and timed well;  a minute into it the plane touched ground and she was all good!

Once we were in the airport we tried to retrieve our baggage, but it never came down the carousel. As is the case in such moments, I began to inwardly spaz. A skycap saved the day by telling us it was probably scooped up by Disney and waiting for us at the Disney Welcome Center.

I imagined it would be a small, cozy desk, but it rivaled or surpassed many of the airline desks.

We caught a Disney Express bus to our hotel, the French Quarter on WDW property.

(Oh, btw - the whole bus broke out into a cheer when we first crossed onto Disney soil!)

The girls were fascinated by the palm trees. [note: I had a great pic here, but it was sized wrong. I'll try reloading it here later]

and settled right in front of the TV in the hotel lobby while we checked in.

The room itself is nothing all that grand, but quite serviceable

Since we'd all been up since 4 am, we tried to get everyone down for a nap. LuLu fell asleep in my arms, but the ever stubborn YaYa never went to dreamland. We were not pleased, as that (in our minds) guaranteed an eventual meltdown.

We got dressed in our summer gear (oh, the pleasure of throwing on sandals in November!), ate a quick bite in the grill on the hotel grounds, and got on a bus to Magic Kingdom, where our adventure really began . .  .

 

[note: for the sake of brevity (!) and so in fear of losing a connection, these things will posted in small bites. Look for more later!]

 

2nd Anniversary and De-Lurker Day

this is a half-hour early, as I won't get the chance to post it on the 9th

Two years ago today, if you go by the date on the hit counter, I started this blog.

 

In the begining it was strictly political, then it became a showcase for my writing, followed by a time as an online scrapbook of my family, and now it's a mish-mash of all of the above.

 

If you want a longer version of the story, and some links to old posts, check out the links on the left sidebar. 

 

I enjoy the heck out of writing this site and I'm grateful to everyone that stops by and gives it a looksie.

 

One favor tho' - I'd like to declare Slapinions' 2nd Anniversary a DE-LURKER DAY.

 

I'm horrible at leaving comments, so I don't normally ask for them. But today, if you routinely visit here once a day, once a week, or just when the mood fits, PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT to let me know who you are.

 

If you can't or won't leave an AOL or AIM comment, just drop me a line at slapinions@aol.com and I'll post the comment for you.

 

Thanks a lot, and here's to 2 more years of Slapinions!

 

Dan

Lost's 1/2 Season Finale and Misc Rants

T-Minus 5 hours until the family departs on vacation.

Not much to say about this episode of Lost. I thought it was disapointing, and certainly didn't end on a very powerful cliffhanger.

Whoo-hoo, Jack is holding Ben hostage to give Kate and Sawyer a chance to escape (to where, oh suicidal self-sacrificing Jack?). Yawn.

And I could care less about Kate going all Anna-Lucia on Sawyer. So be it - the crooked bums deserve one another. The more I see of Kate's past, the less I give a rat's a** about her.

Speaking of crooked bums, I've noticed a lot of Democrats serving crow online about the 'thumping' the GOP took Tuesday.

So be it - it was a wupping - and I accept it graciously. Let the liberals gloat, it doesn't change my opinion of them for the worse - really, how could it?  j/k :)

I'm old enough to know everything changes, everything goes round and round. I remember '92, when I thought the world was going to end, '94 when I thought Santa Claus was real, '96 when I was getting married and could have cared less,'00 when I fought tooth and nail for those bitter 36 days, and '04 when I correctly disagreed with the polls and predicted an easy win.

It isn't the end of the world, and I'll get to do the 'happy happy dance' some election night soon enough.

And as in every defeat, in Tuesday's results are the seeds of future victory. There are now ample roads to critique/attack/stymie the oppositon. It's much easier to snipe from the sidelines than actually be the quarterback, and in the Clinton years the GOP learned to be very good (too good, honestly) at doing just that.

Oh, re: Rumsfield. I'm pragmatic enough where I would have chucked him months ago to appease the unwashed masses, but I don't see this changing much in Iraq, despite the joy its brought about in some quarters.

We'll see.

 

The Long Awaited LuLu's Trip to the Pumpkin Farm Pic

Notice I said 'pic' not 'pics'.

The whole two week wait was ridiculous because LuLu's teacher gave us quite a few pics, but only ONE with my daughter in the shot. What do I need with pictures of other people's kids?

????

Anyways, here's my cutie in the midst of a hayride:

 

Just a Misc Pic from the Summer

Election Results and Vacation Plans

My wife and I took the kids with us to vote, as we often do, and afterwards my wife asked me why I didn't just mark a 'straight ticket', as I'm pretty sure I'd vote for Howard the Duck if he had the right letter after his name on the ballot.

The answer's pretty simple: I get a thrill from voting, and marking each race individually gives me a little 'ooo' factor and makes me feel more involved in choosing the winner.

And it reminds me just how many races are dominated by a single candidate of a single party. I don't care if the other person is running as a Whig, there should always be at least a token opposition, some choice to present the voter.

[fact: figuring out how to spell the print form of widely used human sounds such as ' uh hmm' 'oooo', etc has always, always been a thorn in my side]

Locally, Doyle earned another four years to line his pocket (thanks a bunch dpoem, j/k), the gay marriage referendum passed (meaning it may soon be constituionally outlawed here) and voters were in favor of the death penalty, something I myself (while a proponent elsewhere) was not comfortable with in my home state - I voted no to that one.

Nationally, despite a booming stock market one news source wrote

eight in ten voters called the economy very important to their House vote, and those who said it was extremely important - about four in ten voters - turned to Democrats.

 

Whatever.

 

So the Dems take the House, and damnit, I'm leaving the country.

 

No, really - I am.

 

In about 29 hours my wife and I and our girls  will be leaving for three days in DisneyWorld, to be followed by four days at sea on a Disney Cruise ship, with stops in the Bahamas and Castaway Cove.

 

Parker will be staying home, splitting time with our parents.

 

It's our first real vacation as a family (or 4/5ths of one) and my first vacation since my honeymoon 10 years ago, if you exclude weekend getaways.

 

I'm taking my laptop along so I might post once or twice on board.

 

[By the way, the trip was paid for in large part by my tax return. With the Dem's now in control, I guess you can prep yourself for Slapinions' "007 Family Vacation to the Local Public Library 'Cause This Lower Middle Class Family is Paying too Many Taxes thanks to Nancy Pelosi"}

 

Oh yeah, we're leaving on the 2nd anniversary of Slapinons. I reckon I'll get to that post once I return.

 

See you later!

Election Day '06

Today is election day, and if I'm honest with myself I'd say I have failed to do my share to ensure the right folks win the day.

Take the WI Governor race. Neither candidate does much to inspire me, ala Tommy Thompson did for a decade.

But while you might right this off as the rantings of political bias, I really can't stand Jim Doyle as a politician.

As our Attorney General he was a politcially motivated public servant, taking on issues only if there were headlines involved. 

As our Governor he has somehow managed to survive a wealth of scandals, all leading right up to his front door. There's a UW building under construction that bypassed both the normal permit process and open bidding for the work; there's the payoffs from the local Native American tribes that forced him to muscle through gambling compacts that were ethically questionable, if not illegal.

You get the drift.

Moreso, his stances are wishy-washy. He fought tooth and nail to take School Choice away from needy Milwaukee families, then has the guts to campaign as a champion of the program.

He's campaigned dirty from Day One in his re-election campaign, and that's a description that says something in this day and age.

If you live in Wisconsin, throw the bum out and elect Mark Green.

Please.

* * * *

Here in WI there is also a gay-marriage referendum. A multitude of TV ads and telephone solicitors are encouraging folks to vote 'no'. They frame it in a way that leads you to think a 'no' vote is a vote against gay marriage.

In fact the opposite is true.

Whatever your opinion on the issue, I hope you object on principle whenever the supporters of a political position can win only by pretending to lie down with the competition and mimic their platform.

How strong is your position if you can't win it with something even remotely resembling the truth?  

* * * *

Most folks sign off by saying something very patriotic and American, like no matter who you vote for, just go out and Vote!

I've said it myself. Heck, I've even signed up and driven folks from the other side of the aisle to the polls.

But really, how dishonest is that?

No one really wants the other side to win, and turnout is a major factor in victory.

Ah, the heck with it.

I can't do it. I'm not cold-hearted enough.

Whoever you plan on voting for, get out there.

Vote.

Random Musings

Yeah, so I spent all day Saturday either having a panic attack or dealing with the after effects of one.

Don't worry, this won't become one of those 'let me drone daily about my illness' blogs. I don't have the stomach to read them, and if you have half a life you don't either.

But yes, occasionally I do get panic attacks, ala Tony Soprano, although I had mine before the show made it macho, and I have yet (knock on wood) to pass out like a ninny.

They never seem to hit during an event. Not ever, not once, during scary/stressful/emotional times. In the thick of the moment I'm calm, more or less even-headed, and capable of action, even if it's just running away :)

That goes for the horrendous fatal accident I witnessed at work, and the time - the first and hopefully only time - I was 100 ft from walking straight into the crossfire of a gunfight. You name it, I think I could handle it.

But after the fact, when all is calm and there is nothing to stress me out in the least . . ..well, then I'm a basket case.

This has been a very stressful week at work, and topping it off I've felt myself pull away from my diet (I've lost 37 pounds since May 17th).

So Saturday I'm standing in line at McDonalds buying the kids a Happy Meal (with Apple Dippers and milk, thank you) when I look over and see a guy who sorta/kinda looks like me in the face, but is a good 200 pounds heavier than my current 309.

And I almost passed out.

My heart started racing so fast I could hear it in my ears, my jaw clenched unconsciously, my head began to spin, I broke out in a cold sweat, my breath became ragged (and after a few minutes of that, my chest began to ache too).

Somehow I drove home, announced to my wife what was happening, and laid down.

Once I managed to 'break' the attack, I fell asleep.

For four hours in the middle of the day.

I was pretty much an a** for the rest of the day, as these things drive my anxiety through the roof, and I have no time or patience for even the smallest of annoyances.

Now I have to think that the sight of this guy was kind of a warning bell for me, telling me to stick out the diet, er, lifestyle change, and my body reacted to make me aware of the notion.

But there's gotta be a better way . . .

* * * * *
Busy month. The Great Slapinions vacation is coming up in four days, I have a book review due tommorow and have yet to read the final 500 pages, and I'm desperately trying to shut down the stress at work.

Yum.

* * * * *
Was I the only person in the world who cared that Travelocity's Roaming Gnome was replaced by a human being? I'm so happy - and embarrased at my dorkiness - that it's all part of an advertising gimmick cooked up by Travelocity.

* * * * *

Tune in to Bravo's Law & Order Criminal Intent marathon, which runs weekly each Sunday begining at 6 central. It's the only L&O I actually enjoy, and it ranks right up there with my favorite shows. The lead character (Broken Neck, as he was once called) is part Sherlock Holmes, part Columbo.

Did I ever mention I love Columbo too?

* * * *
AOL is still feeling the effects of the Great Exodus following the installation of banner ads across the journals.

I never gave a rat's a** about the ads, but I'm sad to see so many AOL journals fold up shop. Check out my sidebar for AlpahWoman's new address.

* * * *
Speaking of AOL, how about making a comment function on the journals that isn't tied to having an AIM or AOL screename, ala Blogger's 'other' comment function? Would that hurt the bottom line in VA? I don't think so.

* * * *

Coming up on an election and I'll try to slam out a piece giving my opinion on the WI races. Shame the wrong party might just take the House this year.

* * * * *

Til Later

 

Lost Season 3 Episode 5: The Cost of Living

I was going to post about last weeks episode but didn't, for two reasons:

One, I didn't watch it until almost noon today.

And two, it was a pretty straight forward action episode.

Even so, some quick notes.

I think Sawyer's daughter is a con job pulled off by his ex-mark, and Kate's recitation of Jack's "live together, die alone" was a subtle rejection not only of Sawyer's philosophy but of the guy himself  (in favor of Jack).

And how Sawyer fell for that pacemaker bit was beyond me.

But all of that was mentioned days ago in other folk's posts, so on to this week:

* * * *

Locke continues to annoy me. Something about his kumbaya 'leadership' that he presents as an 'alternative' to the exclusive and just darned mean Jack makes me puke. And his freaky enthusiasm at what appears to be inopportune moments (read Eko's body language dude; leave him alone) just makes him all the more annoying

Why didn't he kick off in the hatch implosion again?

* * *

I think Juliet's pulling a con of her own on Jack. Neat trick with the placards and the video though. I hope Jack doesn't go through with the plan to off Ben. There's a difference between refusing to help someone and actively murdering them.

I can't picture his ethics bending enough to do the deed. Then again, there's the inevitable cliff hanger over the mid-winter hiatus to think of . . .

The funeral, which I'm told is in line with Hindu traditions, struck me as very commune/'family' like, reinforcing some of the Others descriptions of their life.

* * * *

I didn't catch the new female Losties name, but YUM . .

* * * *

So Eko is dead, killed by a vengeful security system apparently angered by his refusal to repent. This opens a whole can of worms in theory-land: does the monster need the physical presence of a person to imitate his appearance, since Jack's Dad and Eko's brother both had their corpses go MIA? How is it able to sense what image will most deeply affect its prey? Why is it so concerned with good/evil/sin/redemption (note: in the past it bypassed Eko when he was still on the path to righteousness)? Does it think at all, or does it simply reflect the emotions of the prey back on themselves?

One thing bothers me though. Eko,to a large part, was right about how he led his life. He certainly crossed the line many many times over the years, but at its heart his life was determined by the simple need to survive in a brutal land.

But . . .

We've all seen him try, and try hard, to change his life. His acceptance of God and his duties didn't seem genuine - they reeked of honest conversion. He started to build the church for his brother on the island. He confessed to Ben/Henry and expressed regret for killing the Others. He baptized Aaron and at every turn seemed a changed man.

Yet when confronted by his brother's 'ghost' I'm expected to believe that he angrily rejects repentance and stands by his past?

Where did that come from?

* * *

A bit of a confusing, not all together honest to the characters episode that was still very enjoyable.

And there was the hot new Lostie, don't forget.

The LaCrosse Murders?

The Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel today is reporting that the FBI will step in and investigate a series of mysterious deaths in LaCrosse (WI).

For years now there have been rumours swirling around the disappearance and drowning deaths of young men in LaCrosse.

The article quotes 8 deaths in 9 years; I've heard whispers of as many as twenty in the last  15-20 years that fit the profile.

This story has become part urban myth  - part sociology problem here in Wisconsin. All of the men died with river water in their lungs, indicating they went in the water alive; they had no visible signs of struggle or bruising; and most importantly their blood alcohol level was through the roof.

Yet many people say a killer is on the prowl in LaCrosse, striking down young men with impunity while hiding behind the smokescreen of the river's proximity.

Still others argue the very idea of a killer is a smokescreen in and of itself, to mask the embarrassing fact that binge drinking is a problem on the UW- LaCrosse campus and in Wisconsin in general.

9/10ths of me is certain the authorities are right, and that this is nothing more than young men, drunk out of their minds, stumbling home from bars and mistakenly winding up in the river.

The rest of me says that it's a stretch to have that many identical accidents in such a short  amount of time, to that specific of an age/gender bracket, in a town where the danger of the river is so well known.

I doubt this investigation will be the end of the deaths one way or the other. If drinking is the culprit a criminal investigation can do nothing; if it's a killer the FBI already seems intent to dismiss the problem, if the article's tone is correct.

I'll try to keep you updated on the story. And speaking strictly about it as a story, there's something about it that really excites me creatively; I think (in a modified form) it'd be a heck of a mystery/thriller novel.

The Trade Show

I spent today, or at least 14 hours of today, at an industry trade show in Lake Geneva at the gorgeous Grand Geneva Resort and Spa.

 

For the most part its an excuse to walk around and pick up scores of trinkets and gadgets from suppliers eager to win your attention. There's some seminars too, and the Internet marketing one was well worth my time.

 

The meals . . . pork medallions and vegetable medley for lunch, steak in a mushroom sauce with fried zucchini for dinner . . free wine and beer if you liked . . . salad, desert . . lordy. I probably gained two pounds.

 

This was my second year at the show. In '05 I went with only a few weeks as the boss under my belt (in fact, I had to wear the nametag of a former manager). I felt out of place and wasn't eager to repeat the experience.

 

This year I knew many people by name, others by reputation, and just as many knew me. It was nice to network and kid around with people just as obsessed with our business as I am, and I felt like I belonged.

 

My, I could almost cry.

 

I even had a good  time laughing at the lame jokes at the awards banquet, and sitting through the guest speaker who droned on about new taxes that affect my business. And I even seem to have bonded a bit with my co-workers that went with me.

 

One odd comment from a supplier who eagerly hunted me down and shook my hand. Tell me how I should take this:

 

"You know Dan, when you first took that job I looked at you and gave you a month, two at best. You should be proud that you've stuck around this long. I'm happy for you, I really am."

 

Well, what the heck!

 

Am I to take that as a compliment, that I overcame adversity and triumphed in the end? Or as an insult, like maybe I never deserved the job at all?

 

I'm going to stick with the former, just to save my ego. But it bothers me, and amuses me that I apparently looked shell-shocked my first few months on the job.