YaYa's 7th Birthday

YaYa's 7th birthday party was held at Incredi-Roll on 108th and Oklahoma, in what was formerly Wisconsin Skate University. And yes, Lisa and I skated. :)





But this was YaYa's day, and she had a blast.





We'd rented the Princess area for her get together, and she loved it. It even had a throne!











All the usual suspects were there. Family, Chris and her kids, some school friends, and even our neighbor's daughter.

















She even got to spend a few minutes in the cash machine!







It was a very nice party: fun, relaxing, and just what she wanted. Happy Birthday YaYa!

I quit smoking two years ago today

Today marks two years since I last had so much as a drag of a cigarette.

I quit cold turkey the day before we left on our Disney Vacation, giving myself 24hrs to ride through the worst of it before departing. I'd been smoking a pack or more a day for ten years, having taken up the habit in the weeks preceding our wedding.

[To be honest, quiting smoking was obviously easier for me than losing weight: even if you reach your 'goal' weight, you still have to eat everyday, forcing a decision. You don't *have* to smoke once you quit]

Sticking to it was made simpler by the fact that it's damn hard to smoke at Disney. There was a shortcut across the park, right behind Cinderella's castle, that was a smoking area. That was hard to navigate, but it was a clear exception.

I didn't think the decision would stick, but it did. For a long time I counted the hours since my last cigarette, but when I dropped that practice (after a thousand or so hours) I knew I was heading for success.

That's not to say a single drag wouldn't toss me back into the habit. I still swoon over the smell of a cigarette at times. Not often, but when it happens it's . . .well, it's like getting really horny after taking a vow of celibacy. It's awful.

And there are times I miss how damn appropriate and iconic it is to have a cig, anti-smoking propaganda be damned. Plus there's all the built-in breaks. "Sometimes I wish I still smoked," I told an employee, gazing wistfully at her co-workers puffing away outside. "I could have 10 breaks a day, instead of, you know, just an eight-hour one in my office."

But 90% of the time I can be around smokers and not even think about picking one up. Frankly, it was too painful to go through withdrawal again, and the blow to my self-esteem would be life-threatening.

Ah, well. Here's to not having to search the couch cushions for a lighter!

Overall, a crappy day. But good things too.

I'd like to point out, purely in good humor, that when I announced that my dream of writing a newspaper column came true the post garnered only four comments, while a one sentence blurb about a dead author spawned eight :)

Don't fret - it was a much more vocal reaction than that of my family. Only Lisa seemed genuinely happy for me, and much love to her for that.

Work - the work that pays the bills - is on a downward spiral in the last six weeks. It's part panic, part increased competition, part seasonal downturn, and partly the result of the current economic climate.

Someday I'll tell the tale of the crazy layoff that took place today. Nothing like being ordered to get rid of the sister of your second-in-command/good friend. It certainly won't kill morale, seeing as she was only one of three sisters employed there and one of the most popular over the course of her decade long service. Nope, won't affect morale at all.

Certainly won't make me even more vilified then ever. Silly to even think so.

On a more positive front I've received three letters now from the Journal . This Sunday a blurb describing each of the new writers will appear in the paper, and mine was so bare bones it looked clipped from a 'Dick and Jane' book. So I had them change that, and on Tuesday I have to have my photograph taken for publication and sign a freelance agreement with the paper.

They said that the two contest submissions can be used as our first pieces, but I slammed out both of them in the two hours before the deadline. I don't have a bleepin clue what the subjects were, much less if they were worthy of publication (although they say they beat out the work of more than 70 unsuccessful applicants). Long and the short of it, only God knows what my first published work will look like :)

A later email came in describing the nuts and bolts of the gig, which will include public "feedback [that]can be caustic". The letter also flat-out states that no one will be allowed to or asked to stay on past the one-year term of the deal, under any circumstances.

Fine by me. I'm just happy for the opportunity.

Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett

Several hundred years ago Agnes Nutter, witch and alleged psychic, is burned at the stake in England. No matter to history, really, save for the fact that she accurately foretold the end of the world. Which is soon. Very soon. Next Saturday, actually, just before dinner.

Cue a delivery room in England, where a Satanic but slow-witted nun somehow loses sight of the Antichrist, delivering him into the arms of a common farmer. Oops.

A decade later it's time for Armageddon, but two angels - one on each side of the aisle - decide to circumvent the powers that be to secure their cushy gigs on Earth and keep the boy in the dark.

Will they succeed? Will they fail? Will Agnes write a sequel from beyond the grave?

All this and more are answered in Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett.

Gaiman is a writer a greatly admire, while Pratchett has long been recommended by a friend of mine. This novel, written as a collaboration decades ago, is a favorite among their fans and for good reason.

It's a darn funny novel that touches on questions of faith, morality, and the celestial use of Freddie Mercury's voice.

I highly recommend the book, eagerly await Gaiman's next work, and look forward to exploring Pratchett's catalog as well.

[note: YaYa, btw, is currently plugging away at Gaiman's YA novel Coraline, which I'm reasonably sure is too scary for a seven year old and the primary reason, along with Goosebumps, why she is (mildly) scared of the dark lately].

Author Michael Crichton has died

CNN is reporting his cancer related death. I have no more details. The author of bestsellers like Jurassic Park and creator of ER was 66 and shared a birthday with YaYa.

I will update this post later in the day.

{sniff} Obama wins

"Will you put on the movie already?" I asked Lisa.

"No, I want to watch the election results," she said.

"Why? You can go on the internet and get county-by-county votes. Obama's got Ohio he's gonna win, put on the movie."

"Wait," she said.

And so I was forced to watch California slide, inevitably, into the blue and Obama being declared President. I suffered through local coverage of the Obama celebrations, with prim and proper reporters covering the downtown gala while the token black reporter was sent to cover an inner-city party, which to me reeks more of racism than a host of perceived slights.

I hate the result but I applaud the election as a monumental step for African-Americans, one that may help bury the lingering sins of the past. Still, it's sad that after all these years we could put a minority into office before a female even landed a nomination. The world changes, and it changes not at all.

"You're taking this well," Lisa said. "You must not be that upset."

"I've lost elections before," I said. 'Tis true - I was a Dem until '91, switching parties just in time to lose two more times.

Others were less practiced at the art. I took phone calls from friends in different parts of the country. One urged me to be 'careful' of pro-Obama violence on the way to work, which I told him was silly, while another joked of leaving the country and bemoaned the passing of the republic. Socialist was AWOL, no doubt busy passing out cigars 'redistributed' from the Bourgeois tobacco shop ;)

We then watched McCain's concession speech. I was very moved and finished watching it 100% convinced that the better man, if not the better candidate, had gone home vanquished. Has there ever been a more sincere and eloquent concession?

"Why didn't he speak like that during the campaign?," Lisa, who was never a fan of the man, said. "He'd have had a chance. I like him more than I ever did before."

I didn't/couldn't watch Obama take the stage, and so at that point we turned on the ever-present HGTV.

Watching the election results, local, state, and federal, was like watching Little Bighorn while wearing a Calvary uniform. Without question the Democrats have a reactionary mandate from America and can - or should be able to - push their leftist agenda through with ease.

While it's like saying the silver lining of dying from a stroke is that you don't have to worry about drowning, I'm glad the GOP is completely out of the loop, rather than just a visible but powerless minority. Whatever happens, good or bad, it will fall squarely on the Democrats, and should provide an equally reactionary turnabout down the road.

Now I'm going to go on record and say that I'll support the office of the President and hope for the best. I don't want to see him fail outright at the very least on foreign policy, as that would mean this nation has failed. Bush's opponents never understood that concept, as part of their makeup seems to be an inherent belief that America's sins will always outweigh her greatness; therefore seeing us fail was not a concern if it meant a Republican could go down in the process.

I won't stoop to the insulting, childish, and frankly ignorant commentary that the left has used to describe the Presidency in the last eight years. I promise you that.

But I'm going to lay something on the table. I think all these calls for 'unity' and 'let's put it behind us' are hypocritical bunk. It is akin to bringing eggs and rotten tomatoes to a play and bombarding the cast from before the lights go down until after the curtain falls, then taking the stage yourself and calling anyone with food in their hands a racist and an extremist.

Democrats spent eight years sowing seeds of hate and discord, and there will be plenty of people who are looking for payback over the next four years. The harvest may not be pretty, and they have no one to blame but themselves.

* * * *

I'd also like to thank the voters of Milwaukee for shooting themselves in their pocketbook by passing the Sick Leave referendum by a two-thirds majority. Never doubt a voter's ability to put aside reason if it means putting someone else's money in their wallet.

Someone needs to step up and rescue this city from itself. Where's a little 'hope/change/hope/change' when you need it?

The 1000th Post and some Great News!

I'd planned on making the 1000th post a big to-do, but with the election results looming I hurried things up a bit. I didn't want a blog started in the afterglow of an election win to 'celebrate' with a (possible) election loss.

Anyhow, if you're of a mind to review the last 999 entries I've added the entry labels - an index of sorts - to the sidebar. Let me know when you find a post with missing pictures from the AOL era and I'll get it up and running.

And now, drum roll please:

As I walked in the house after voting I took a call from O. Ricardo Pimentel, editorial page editor of The Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel.

You might remember the contest to join the editorial page for a year as a guest columnist. At the time I wrote on this blog

I don't think I'll fare well. It just didn't 'flow' tonight, the construction was awkward, midway through one column my research proved faulty and I had to rework it back to the bare bones. . .

Huh. Shows what I know. Pimentel was calling to ask if I was still interested, and if so if I'd be willing to take the job. The answer to both questions was a very happy 'yes'.

He said he'd be sending me a detailed email in the next few days about the job. If the original intent of the contest holds true I'll be joining around 30 other writers who'll share the duties of producing content six days out of the week. By my math that means I'll have at least ten columns published in the 2008 Pulitzer Prize winning Journal-Sentinel, albeit at a mere $25 payment for each.

Well, hot dog!

So after 1000 posts spread out over just (days) shy of four years, I've finally reached one of the original goals of this site: to get my writing noticed and to land a job that pays me to tiki-ticki-ticki on a keyboard!

That's worth celebrating!

Kate Winslet, Voting, and a Simple yet devious Plan

I took LuLu and voted this afternoon. There was no line to speak of and it all went smoothly.

Mind you, I didn't have to show ID or for that matter even spell out my complete eleven letter last name. I got through 'slap' before they found me on the printout. The election workers themselves then volunteered my first name, I concurred that yup, I am Daniel, and they handed me a ballot. I really don't understand how you need two forms of ID to get a library card in this city but, in theory, any of you could have walked in and voted in my place without knowing my first name or most of my last.

Eh, a fight for another day.

Of the six non-Presidential offices up for grabs on the ballot, five were fully uncontested and the sixth faced token opposition from a gay/lesbian party. Whatever problems this city might have - oh, and there's a bunch - Republicans are completely absolved from blame, since they don't even get a whiff of elected office in Milwaukee. Sad.

I'll confess to waffling on the park tax at the last minute, convinced by a wife who argued that the chance for reviving the parks was worth the risk. I think it was all a bit too Capra-esque, but she's right; I guess the parks are worth the risk.

So while I think I'll regret doing so, I voted 'yes' when faced with the ballot.

Fear not, there was no way in hell I was voting anything but 'no' on the silly sick leave referendum, and that decision held.

* * * *

On a COMPLETELY different topic, Vanity Fair has a series of stunning photographs of Kate Winslet, the best actress of this generation and a crush of mine since before Titanic.





Here's the deal. Someday I intend to write a bestselling novel that will be made into a blockbuster movie. At my insistence the New Kids will do the title song, Donnie Wahlberg will have a part, Ben Afleck will star and Kate Winslet will have the female lead. Thus Lisa and I will get to meet our respective crushes personally.

A simple plan, no?

Fantasy Football Weeks 7 and 8 (NFL Week 8 & 9)

Well, fiddle dee dee. I went into Monday's tepid Washington/Pittsurgh game needing under ten points to win, with both Hines Ward and Santana Moss lining up for me. Ward came within feet of a TD, but in the end . ..nada. I lose - again - and fall to 4-5.

[note: great Texas - Texas Tech game over the weekend. I was on my feet cheering when Tech struck with a single second left]

I've got to get a more competitive RB package going, although I admit that will be hard to do this late in the season. I dropped Fred Taylor (damn your low point totals sir!) and picked up Derrick Ward, but that won't exactly light up the night.

So I'm 3-5 and in 8th place. Ouch.

Bay View SlapJacks
3-5-

VS.

Dueshebags
4-4

Points
Pos Player Opp Status Projected Actual
QB Peyton Manning
(Ind - QB) 20.47
WR Santana Moss
(Was - WR) 1.40
WR Braylon Edwards
(Cle - WR) 16.60
WR Hines Ward
(Pit - WR) 3.90
RB Jamal Lewis
(Cle - RB) 6.20
RB Fred Taylor
(Jac - RB) 1.20
TE Zach Miller
(Oak - TE) 0.90
K David Akers
(Phi - K) 15.00
DEF Indianapolis
(Ind - DEF) 10.00
Total 75.67

VS.

Pos Player Actual
QB Jay Cutler
(Den - QB) 14.43
WR Roy Williams
(Dal - WR) 2.80
WR DeSean Jackson
(Phi - WR) 2.30
WR Ted Ginn Jr.
(Mia - WR) 3.80
RB Leon Washington
(NYJ - RB) 5.50
RB Tim Hightower
(Ari - RB) 18.80
TE Tony Gonzalez
(KC - TE) 6.20
K Josh Scobee
(Jac - K) 10.00
DEF Philadelphia
(Phi - DEF) 14.00
Total 77.83

Here's last week's pitiful results too:

Bay View SlapJacks
3-5

VS.

fire ted
5-3-0
QB Peyton Manning
(Ind - QB)21.53
WR Santana Moss
(Was - WR) 30.00
WR Braylon Edwards
(Cle - WR) 6.40
WR Hines Ward
(Pit - WR) 3.00
RB Jamal Lewis
(Cle - RB) 16.80
RB Fred Taylor
(Jac - RB) 2.40
TE Zach Miller
(Oak - TE) 5.60
K David Akers
(Phi - K) 8.00
DEF San Diego
(SD - DEF) -6.00
Total 87.73

Fire Ted

QB Donovan McNabb
(Phi - QB) 16.93
WR Calvin Johnson
(Det - WR) 14.40
WR Anquan Boldin
(Ari - WR)25.30
WR Kevin Curtis
(Phi - WR) 4.50
RB Brandon Jacobs
(NYG - RB) 5.30
RB Brian Westbrook
(Phi - RB) 38.90
TE Jason Witten
(Dal - TE)0.80
K Nick Folk
(Dal - K) 8.00
DEF San Francisco
(SF - DEF) -3.50
Total 110.63

The Inevitable Presidential Endorsement Post

Four years ago I started Slapinions as a political blog t in the wake of the 2004 election. The blog was never supposed to feature my children, movie reviews, humor, or rants about AOL.

Well, the last time I checked 'politics' has consumed only around forty posts out of a thousand, proving once again that in politics even the best of intentions often fall to the wayside.

Still, in honor of the site's origin I'm going to give my two cents about this election. Sorry - by this late date I bet you thought you were out of the woods.

It's no surprise to readers that I'm voting for McCain. Lisa would say it was inevitable, that I believe the party is bigger than the individual and automatically mark an 'X' by anyone with an (R) next to their name. Eh, that's a wee bit strong - I'm not a Stalinist for Pete's sake - but she's got a point. But I don't think that's the case here.

Personally, I see no value in listing the reasons why I think Obama is a poor choice for President, at least in any depth. Minds are made up, his backers are frighteningly zealous, and frankly going negative wins no fans.You'll have to take my word that it is more than mere distaste, and trust that I'm intelligent enough to think it over, whether you disagree or not.

Let's leave it at this, in 200 words or less: I think 'Hope/Change/Hope/Change' is not a policy, and that for all his impressive eloquence he is woefully inexperienced and unprepared for the office. I believe that while he is a loyal American he is one of many who believe our faults outweigh our positives. I think his economic policy does not add up - literally - and that his foreign policy will either be a wilting failure or, on the other extreme, a harsh, unduly aggressive approach to negate his critics. I don't look forward to either path.

[One snide observation: when the housing bubble burst and the (idiotic) economic bailout went through he was quick to say that it would hinder his proposed programs. That's true to an extent, but it's also convenient, and to me it reeked of a man who bemoans the fact that his car broke down before a trip to the in-laws, while secretly thanking the Heavens it took him off the hook.]

On the other hand, I am not a huge fan of McCain. I brought up Eight is Enough in a post yesterday. That show was based on the life of Crossfire's Tom Braden, who was often miscast on the panel as a liberal. Timothy Leary famously said that era of Crossfire was like watching 'the left wing of the CIA debating the right wing of the CIA'.

Well, watching this election is like watching the left wing of the DNC debate the right wing of the DNC.

I think, for lack of a better term, McCain is a Democrat at heart, or what the more extreme of the party would call a RINO - a Republican in name only. He's strong on defense, sure, but prior to '68 there was nary a Democrat who wasn't, and I don't see that as exclusive to one party.

That doesn't make him a bad person, but I didn't like him (as a candidate) in 2000, and I'm not in love with him now. It's curious, really, how quickly Dems have turned on him, given that three years ago they'd have sung his praises. I assume most of it is election year b.s., because anyone with common sense can see his move to the right is for show, just as Obama caters to his own base.

Of the two I still bow to McCain's experience, his strength on defense, and the fact that no single party should control both houses of Congress and the White House. It didn't work recently, it didn't work in the past, it won't work in the future.

Additionally, McCain has a true talent for bipartisanship. Oh, Obama preaches unity but he's essentially running the same campaign Bush did in '00; the last eight years were bad, we need a distinct change, I'm really different than the last guy, vote for me. He's earning the love of his fans and the deep animosity of his opponents, and that's just a recipe for more of the same.

Not the strongest of endorsements, I admit, but by far McCain is the lesser of two evils.

It might shock you, but I still think the best candidate isn't on the ballot. Hilary, for all her faults, was an intelligent, forceful, and experienced choice for the office. It was that second bit that killed her, as it's sad that even today a woman can't exhibit strength without meeting the wrath of the masses, many of whom turned on her and called her 'arrogant' or worse. (Dan, you're a Republican? What about her lefty-loosy ideas? 1. She's pragmatic and 2. There's just enough of that sexism to deny her a free reign with Congress)

So, I'll go to the polls and vote for McCain. I hope he can squeak out a victory, but if not . . . well, I'm not going to stock up on rifles and move to the hills. I'll suck it up, honor the office, hope for the best (especially on foreign policy) and get on with my life. I'll be quick to point out his mistakes, which will be numerous, but I'll acknowledge his successes.

Hey, it's more respect than the left ever offered Bush, before, during, and no doubt after his administration.

Get out there and vote, and God Bless America.


graphic hat tip to And Rightly So!