American Idol 3/17

Pigs are flying, hell has frozen - pick your cliche. Paula is sober and making solid, intelligent analysis. Meanwhile I've turned against Kara, who seems far too in love with herself, a definite no-no unless your last name is Cowell or Slapinions. Plus she seems completely hung up on screaming your way through every song. She has no subtlety, or at least fails to appreciate it in others.

If one judge has to go next year, Kara should sashay away.

Ok, on to the artists. It's an important week. As Ryan said, the loser doesn't qualify for the summer tour.

1. Michael - It has to be some comfort and provide some sense of personal freedom to know you don't have a chance to win the big prize. I thought his vocals were fine, but the song lacked the energy that seems written right into the song. Blah

2. Allison - some complaint from the Mrs. that she sang it too hard, too Joplinesque. I'll argee, but argue that it works for her. I give her a plus.

3. Kris - the darkhorse keeps creeping up on the pack. He should sail through.

4. Lil - "I just wanted to prove I could sing more than R&B". Well, ya didn't honey. I agree with Simon, she seemed like a wedding singer stuck singing a song she hates. And her little - er, excuse me, "Lil'" - attitude during the critique was both whiny and desperate. She'll get through, but she's been knocked down a peg or two.

5. Adam - I know people love this guy, and Beth is a big fan, but I can't STAND him. The very sight of him makes my skin crawl; it is completely irrational. Even so, give credit where it's due. I agree with Randy for the first half of the song. It was funky, unique, and controlled. Well done. And I agree with Simon for the last half, as it turned into a self-indulgent performance right out of a cabaret.

6. Scott - Enough already with the sympathy votes. I don't get it; he's supposed to be blind, not deaf. And yet every song sounds the same, like a one-note Bruce Hornsby. AI could do 'Rap Week' and it would come out sounding like 'The Way it Is'. He does use the piano as a crutch, as Paula said, but far more importantly he just doesn't sound great. He deserves top 10 given who's left, but no more than that.

7. Alexis - I didn't dig it, but I thought it was better than the judges thought. 'Dirty' is a Kara staple, and I think Alexis would be wise to question her advice.

8. Danny - Not as good as in previous weeks, but I'll tell you one thing. Unlike a lot of artists, you know he felt the power in the Christian lyrics. Once again Kara wants people to scream all the way through the song. He'll make it through.

9. Anoop - Vocally it was fine, but I think he's rather robotic. Lisa liked it a lot. He should have been gone last week instead of Jorge, but he deserved the praise today.

10. Megan - What the hell are the judges hearing that we're not? Who's [redacted] is she sucking to get that praise? Her motions on stage look like a Marilyn knock-off and I dare you, I DOUBLE DOG DARE YOU to close your eyes then swear on a bible that you'd buy her record if you heard it on the radio.

11. Matt - damn he's good, and Scott take note: that's the difference between an artist who also happens to play piano (Billy Joel, Elton) and yourself. Energy, a connection with the audience, and mighty fine vocals. Well done.

Hmm. A hard one to pick this week. My ears say Megan should go home, but that 'flu' thing and the pendulous chest probably bought her some time. I'd say that Michael, Scott, and Megan are voted in the bottom three, with Scott instantly told to return to his seat. In the end, Michael goes home.