The Bickersons

If you have the chance, listen to the old radio show The Bickerson's. LOL funny. Here's a typical exchange. 

B: You used to be so considerate. Since you got married to me you haven't got any sympathy at all.

J: I have, too. I've got everybody's sympathy.

B: Believe me, there's better fish in the ocean than the one I caught.

J: There's better bait, too.

B: I don't see how you can go to bed without kissing me good night.

J: I can do it.

B: You'd better say you're sorry for that, John.

J: Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

B: You are not.

J: I am too. I'm the sorriest man that was ever born.

B: Is there any milk for breakfast?

J: No.

B: Then you'll have to eat out.

J: I don't care, I've been doing it all week.

B: What for? I left you enough food for six days. I cooked a whole bathtub full of rice. What happened to it?

J: I took a bath in it.

B: Why didn't you eat it?

J: I've told you a million times I can't stand the sight of rice.

B: Why not?

J: Because it's connected to the saddest mistake of my life.

B: You stopped loving me the day we were married.

J: That wasn't the day at all.