The Haunting in Connecticut and the divine Ms. Madsen

At the All-Star game party my buddy Tre asked me why I like horror movies. I gave him a coherent response, but the more I think about it, the more it simply comes down to this:

Most horror movies suck. I seem to be on a quest to find a really good, really scary movie not called The Exorcist. Once I find that, I think I'll be good for a while.

The Haunting in Connecticut certainly isn't the Holy Grail I'm searching for. It sucked. Royally. Beginning to end stink-a-rooni, softened by the fact that it was big budget and the folks involved really seemed to try. Try and fail, but try.

1.5 out of 4.

BUT . . . the movie did feature the lovely Ms. Virginia Madsen.

Oh, the thoughts the tween and teen Danny had about her . . . whoo. I'll spare you the puberty induced fantasies, but even now, Botox and all, isn't she just gorgeous?

One of my first sightings of Madsen was in Electric Dreams, a neat little '80's romantic comedy about a PC that gained sentience (if I remember, this milestone in evolution came about after soda was spilled on the keyboard). Of course the PC becomes jealous of its owner's new love interest (Madsen) and trouble ensues.

Loved the movie. Loved the Boy George soundtrack. I think I have the cassette of the music here somewhere, having special ordered it as a kid with my measly piggy bank money.







Oh, there was one scary bit about The Haunting . . . but it came from our own house. During one horror scene our screen door flew open and slammed against the side of the house, while the wind chimes I have on the inside of the wooden door began to ring.

Kind of spooky. But it still doesn't raise the movie's rating.

The column I wrote earlier this week will appear in tomorrow's (Thurs) Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel. If you're in the state, please pick up a copy.

The 2009 MLB All-Star Game Party

It's become a tradition for me to host an annual party to watch the MLB All-Star game. My firm "Males only" policy was challenged by one of Lisa's friends this time around, but common sense and testosterone won out in the end. The two oldest girls were fawned off on relatives, Ginger was fast asleep, and Lisa joined her friend to watch a movie.

[Thanks do go out, however, to my sister C for helping get the house in order, and to Lisa for cooking most of the food. Much love to you both.]

This years spread included sloppy joes, baked beans, pasta salad, a vegetable tray, assorted chips and dips, cookies, brownies, watermelon, and fresh blueberries.

Oh, and Schlitz.



My Dad attended with Smiley in tow, as he'd taken him to the park for most of the afternoon.





Socialist was there, flipping off the camera as usual.



My buddy Tre made his annual pilgrimage for the game (and brought the beer and salad). Also present was Bob, the father of one of LuLu's friends, and Jason, the significant other of our friend Jessica.



As usual not much attention was paid to the game, at least until the last few innings. The game flew by at a staggering 2 hours and 31 minutes and featured an RBI double by Home Run Derby champ (and Milwaukee Brewer) Prince Fielder, but in the end it was the same old same old. The American League pulled off another in a long line of wins, Mariano Rivera notched a record fourth save in the ASG, and home field advantage again rests with the Junior circuit.

In fact, while I feel the conversation was above par tonight, the most talked about aspect of the game wasn't the actions on the field. Instead it was the man-love for Obama that the Fox crew, led by Joe Buck, gratuitously displayed. For nine innings and change not only did they drop his name every other sentence, but they insisted on asking each player about him. "Nevermind your game winning sac fly sir. Wasn't it great to meet President Obama?"

In fact, Ryan Braun's first at-bat was largely unseen due to an Obama interview at the same time. Unforgiveable.

When a group comprised of Republicans, Democrats, and a Socialist join together to gag on your affection and crack jokes unprintable here, well, ya may have gone a little overboard Mr. Buck.

I'm just sayin'.

A great time, a great tradition, and a great night. I'm already looking forward to next year.

All-Star Game 09

Tonight's the All-Star game, which means the annual man only feast at my place. Dale, Jason - c'mon down if you can make it.

Just finished a column and sent it in. Now I'm going to bed. 'Nite

The Unborn

The Unborn is the story of Casey Beldon, a 19 year old woman who has horrifying, seemingly delusional visions about a young boy. As she seeks a medical explanation she learns she is a twin, and that her brother died in utero. His fetus had been possessed by a dybbuk, a malevolent wandering spirit of Jewish folklore who first took the guise of a boy killed in Auschwitz. The dybbuk has haunted Casey's family for generations, leading directly to the suicide of her own mother.


Now the dybbuk wishes to once again gain entry into our world. It looks upon Casey as the means to accomplish the task, and only a skeptical Rabbi stands in its way.

First the bad news: You know you're getting old when you nearly turn off the TV after realizing a horror movie is all about teenagers. Enough already. Could we please have a film where the ghost picks on someone old enough to legally drink?

Second, I'm all for women. I'm all for looking at women. I'm all for looking at half-naked women. And I'm all for looking at half naked women that look like this:


But in the first third of the movie Odette Yustman's body was displayed multiple times for no other reason than to show off her underwear clad butt. Great to look at, rather inconsequential to the plot.

So let's put it bluntly Hollywood: I'm a big boy. If I want to look at naked women, I'll happily rent a porn. I'd appreciate less ass and more story from a conventional film, if you don't mind.

Just my opinion.

Here's the good, and yes, it far outweighs the bad. The relationship between Casey and her boyfriend seems remarkably mature and sincere for their ages, much less for a horror film. The acting is pretty good, minus the over-the-top antics of Casey's friend, and the story is sound.

Best of all, it was a pretty creepy movie, especially for the last half hour. There were some genuinely frightening moments there at the end, and if the postscript wasn't my favorite, at least it wasn't a cheap "Gotcha!" moment like many of these films.

What can I say? I liked it.

2.7 out of 4

A glass plate just exploded in the microwave, scattering pieces across the kitchen and just narrowly missing Lisa. I guess it wasn't microwave safe after all.

The Unborn

Just got done watching The Unborn. Full review to follow, as you've grown to expect and detest, but as a sneak peek: it was worth the rental fee.

How Much is that Baby in the Window?

In our living room there is a large bay window looks out into the street. It is one of Ginger's favorite pastimes to climb atop the loveseat by that window and just watch the cars, people, and birds that pass by our house.




There's no danger to the lass, as there's nowhere for her to fall, but I always feel bad when I see her in the window. What do strangers think? Do they walk by and think "The poor girl must be so sad. OMG, where are the parents?"

I should point out she's usually clothed, and the diaper only ensemble was a fluke.





I LOVE this last shot.

May Crowning

Many Catholic, and some Orthodox and Anglican churches, celebrate the ritual of May Crowning. Around May Day ( sometimes Mother's Day), it is traditional for a statue or icon of Mary to be decorated with a crown of leaves to signify her position as Queen of Heaven and Mother of God.

This year YaYa's second grade class, fresh from First Communion ceremonies over the previous month, was given the honor of the Crowning. From a practical point of view this boiled down to a chance for her class, which had been divided and shoved upon their home parishes for Communion, the opportunity to proudly display their Communion outfits to the rest of the school.



During the Mass YaYa was one of the kids to walk up and present the gifts of Bread and Wine to the priest. Afterwards, it was time for picture taking and a social get-together in the church basement. Here's YaYa and her classmate Annabelle:



and their class













For most of the social YaYa wanted nothing to do with us - no anger involved, just the usual urge for a kid to hang out and play with her friends.





But she came around in time for some pictures with her parents:





It was a very pleasant and friendly way to spend a weekday morning.