Today is my sister Katie's [redacted] Birthday, and while she may have cancelled her party due to illness, the Slapinions household wishes her a happy and productive year! Love you!
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Monday, March 3, 2008
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Beowulf and 30 Days of Night
It was pretty hard to lay hands on a rental copy of 30 Days of Night in this town yesterday. It was only on my second round of calling every Blockbuster on the south side that I came across a recently returned copy.
To my disappointment Lisa didn't want to sit down and watch it once she found out it was a vampire movie. Horror she likes; vampires and zombies not so much.
I really enjoyed the movie and I think the director was great at using the isolated and brutal Alaskan landscape as a secondary (but equally deadly) opponent. The story was strong for a genre film, even if the climax wasn't to my liking, and I disagree with critics who labeled this a 'gore' fest. Frankly, I think the blood and guts was kept to a bare minimum given the requirements of the story.
Plus this wasn't as much a vampire story as a zombie story disguised as a vampire film. A small group of survivors clings to life in an environment dominated by zombie/vampires . . .I have a slight fetish for films with that premise, and if for nothing else I'd recommend the film on that alone.
3 out of 4 stars.
I also rented Bewoulf in the past week.
I enjoyed it in the moment but in retrospect felt a little let down, like the old cliche about Chinese food: an hour later I was hungry again.
Visually it's grand, no question about that, even if that whole 'spooky-eyes' thing has yet to be fully worked out. And yeah, it's a little freaky to see cartoons talking and acting sexual - that's for the Internet people, not the movies! - but again, great visuals throughout the movie.
I don't agree with Roger Ebert that it was intended as satire. Nor do I think that Grendel was a sympathetic character gone wild because of unjust banishment. I didn't sympathize with the monster, child-like mentality or not, and he WAS a freaking monster. He ATE people for pete's sake.
I just think that Zemeckis had no real love for the material (on the DVD he admits not liking the source material). Top it off with some alterations of the poem's plot by screenwriter Neil Gaiman and I started to lose some interest in the film.
Look I love Gaiman's novels - American Gods was superb - but the man is a maverick. Why would you ask him to adapt the oldest existing epic in the English language is beyond me - you just knew in your bones that he HAD to mess around with the story; it's his nature.
I agree with making Beowulf's kingdom the same one he rescues from Grendel, as that did solidify the story for moviegoers, but the Angelina Jolie/bestiality thing? Yeah, uh, no.
And I will say this - Beowulf is a hero, a legitimate and unconquerable champion. To make him a 'flawed man' betrays more of the 21st century's sad mentality than it does the heart of the character.
2 of 4 stars.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
An example of how honesty has never been an issue in our marriage
I had my wife read a post I did yesterday (but have yet to post).
"It's good. Very well written today."
"Today? As opposed to what?"
"As opposed to some of the junk you pass off as posts"
Later I asked if she'd read the Leap Day post.
"Maybe"
"Maybe?"
"Yeah, I think so. It was that boring one wasn't it?"
"What do you mean, 'boring'? Did you even read it?"
"Of course."
"What was it about?"
"It was about . . [shrugs] I don't know. Something about snow and the car. And you wrote 2009, not 2008. See, I told you I read it! Ha!"
{note: I did indeed write 2009, and later edited it out}
"So what did you think about the phone call?"
"What phone call?"
''You didn't even read it to the end??!"
"I . . . mighthavestoppedhalfwaythrough. Look, you would NEVER read 30 posts a month if I had a blog. I bet you wouldn't even glance at more than three a year, would you?"
"Ah, that's not true. I've told you to get a blog for years."
"That's such a crock. You'd hate my blog. It'd be 'Danny did this' and 'Danny said that' and you'd spend all day trying to get me to edit out all the stupid things you do all the time".
Snort. "Bull. You don't have a blog because no one wants to read about making flannel frog pins and paper mache dolphins. You'd put people to sleep."
Laughs. "Uh, half of Blogger is about paper mache dolphins, thank you very much. And just for that, maybe I'm going to start a blog and make it all about those flannel frog pins. And you know what? I'm going to make you read every-single-word- aloud. Would you like that bunky? Wouldya?"
And finally, her complete email response to a whiny email of mine.
that was the main point, dont look between the lines for derogatory sh*t, you know i love you, shut up.
Ah, true love lol
Tags: Lisa
Friday, February 29, 2008
Happy Leap Year!
I hope everyone has had a happy and memorable Leap Day 2008.
It was kind of a mixed bag for me. Three more inches of snow overnight, making the glaciers in my alley oh, six miles deep. I got stuck and unstuck and stuck again, and bottomed out the car moving from one ice pack to another. It'll be a miracle if the cars don't need alignments and shocks by spring.
At work my day was hampered by the misery that is a Friday in Lent (please let my birthday not fall on such a day this year!), and the lousy meatless lunches that come with it.
I also engaged in a long and fruitless argument with a customer who refused to see facts that were as plain as day.
Believe me, few things are as enjoyable as explaining, time and again, in a myriad of different ways, that $65 times three purchases is $195 EACH AND EVERY TIME. There is no 'trickery' involved, and no amount of math, new, old, verdic, algebraic, whatever, is going to change that fact.
On the other side of the scale we closed out the month significantly ahead of Feb of '07 (not even including today's totals) and ahead of Feb of '06 as well.. A hearty thank-you to all involved in making that happen.
I also had the pleasure of enjoying an evening at home minuse the wife and kids, although I've done nothing more exciting than complete my federal taxes.
* * *
I had a bit of a smile today too, albeit a heartless evil one.
Midway through the day I took a call from a salesman who was pushing . .what was it? Oh yes, a new brand of drain cleaner. Obviously he wasn't the best man for the job or I'd remember the product without a four minute pause, but it was how truly AWFUL he was that made it special.
"Mr. S I'd like to thank you for returning the comment card showing interest in our product," he began.
Never heard of the company, certainly never wasted my time filling out postcards about Drano.
"and as a special thank-you I'd like to offer you a XY brand 4 inch pocket knife as my gift," he said.
Not sure how a pocketknife would inspire a purchase from someone in my industry, but, uh, sure.
Now you have to picture this next bit as if it was ripped clean out of a failed sitcom. You know the scene because you've seen it a hundred times: someone's kooky uncle or the Ashton Kutcher of the class gets a job as a telmarketer. Hilarity ensues. Cue laugh track.
"And I bet there's plenty of dark nights and back alleys in, uh . .in Milwaukee where that blade is going to come in pret-tee handy, ha ha ha".
You should have seen my smile. I could hear the guy turning the pages of the script. I could hear him whispering to himself in panic when he forgot what city he'd called. And best of all, oh, best of all dear reader, the 'ha ha ha' was just that: a mechanical, forced, actual 'ha ha ha', devoid of even a child's efforts to imitate a real laugh.
I immediately decided to devote a few minutes to the guy. There'd be no curt 'no thanks' from me today, nosirree.
[And again, I'm in a suit and tie industry. What is his company trying to say, that I go slumming in the Bowery on my off hours? And thanks for ridiculing my hometown. Did anyone think out this marketing angle, or did they come up with it over a bong one night?]
He went on with his pitch, and the turning of his notecards, and after awhile I began to discern a womans voice in the background. It was faint but oh, it was there, and I began to notice that it spoke the man's words just a moment before they rolled out of his mouth.
Dear Liza, the poor woman was training this man! How miserable was her Leap Day?
So he tries to get me to buy his stuff. "Send me a sample and I'll make a decision," I said, for no other reason than to let him off the hook without a real 'no'. Ah, but his trainer was having no part of it and I knew the spin before I heard it. I parried it quickly and she came back with yet another flanking attack (the woman was obviously a veteran salesperson)
Here is where pity began to overcome my amusement. The longer he and I - well, she and I - went 'round and round, the more he fell a step behind. Eventually I would hear her voice first, and only after she was finished speaking would he try and stumble through and remember what she said, his voice full of misery.
Enough was enough, and I disconnected after a polite 'no thank you'.
Now I'll probably never get that pocketknife.
Tags: Leap Year
Lost: The Constant . . . Season 4, Episdode 5
If you weren't a fan of Lost before this episode, well, you're probably still not a fan now.
Not that it wasn’t a fine episode, but it wasn’t the best way to introduce the series to a new viewer, especially if the newbie had an aversion to science-fiction. Without question "The Constant" was the most Star Trek-yof any episode I've seen to date.
The events on the island are so secondary as to be extraneous, and largely act as a plot device for the off-shore action. So with your kind permission, I think we'll start on the freighter.
While en route to the ship Desmond experiences a dramatic out of body experience. For the rest of the episode his consciousness is bounced back and forth between 1996 and 2004; keep in mind that at no point is the ‘Desmond’ we know present except at the start and end of the show. From the moment the trouble starts his body is inhabited by the 1996 version of himself.
There are a dozen different time travel stories that have used a similar idea, so it’s certainly not very original: Somewhere in Time, Slaughterhouse Five, Quantum Leap, 12 Monkeys, etc. I think it was crafted well and did what it needed to do, but really, why bother? I have to assume, based almost soley on the note in Daniel’s journal at the end, that the time-travel issue will arise again, perhaps as a major plot point.
If it doesn’t, then the whole episode was really just filler.
Not that we didn’t learn some things. There is a legitimate time discrepancy between the island and the ‘world’. Daniel acknowledged it, Sayid mentioned they left at dusk for a 20 minute flight and arrived at midday, and there was of course the whole rocket experiment in a previous episode.
{anyone else find the Oxford bit a straight rip-off of the Back to The Future scenes where Marty convinces the 1955 Doc Brown he's legit?}
But how much of a variance is there? The freighter is shown to exist on Christmas Eve of 2004, yet the Losties on the island are somewhere near their 100th day (I forget the exact number) so they too are nearing Christmas. What gives? Is this just a continuity error or is the time variance nothing more than a perception issue, rather than a real time lag? If the latter, how the hell does that make sense?
Minkowski was kind of a wasted character, no? He’s introduced as the voice on the radio early in the season, presumably for no other reason than to validate Desmond’s experiences here, then drops dead. Whatever.
Why would ‘Ben’s man’ on the boat both release the hostages and destroy the radio room? With Sayid and Desmond looking for a way off the island, wouldn’t it have made more sense to keep them locked up?
[Love Sayid’s ‘give me a minute’ when asked if he could repair the mangled radio room. And could someone please tell me where the heck Penny was on Christmas Eve? I get the whole dramatic endless ringing of the phone, but if you’ve been expecting a call on that date for 8 years wouldn’tyou take the dang phone with you wherever you went, even to the loo?]
Penny might have waited eight years for the call, but she’s seen him in the years between ’96-’04, at the very least at the track stadium, no?
Note that at the auction, when the log of the Black Rock was sold, they gave the sailing date as March 22nd 1845. Dynamite, of which there was plenty in her hold, wasn’t invented until 1866.
Could a blatant error like that be intentional? And the seller was Tovard Hanso, presumably of the Hanso foundation, an (evil?) organization that’s popped up before in the Lost mythology.
Anyone else catch the Charles Dicken’s item up for sale after that? A pretty non-subtle nod to Desmond’s obsession, I thought. And note that Keamy, the guy on the freighter, states that they are in the Pacific, laying waste to some thought I saw online that they might be in the Indian Ocean.
One thing that really irked me throughout the episode was the use of The Numbers. They seemed to be popping up everywhere, as if the writers were beating us over the head with them. Desmond told Daniel to set the machine for 2.342. The auction lot was number 2342. Penny’s address was 423, etc. I’m sure were more that I’m forgetting,(Or at least I hope so, lest this be a b.s. paragraph)
In the end, I loved the Penelope-Desmond phone call that served as the climax of the episode. At it’s heart Lost is about two things: mystery, and love, albeit not very trouble-free love.
Doubt the last part? Think I’m a melodramatic fool? Ok then – love of family (Kate/her Mom – Jack/His Dad – Charlie/his brother – Locke/his Dad - Walt/Michael - Shannon/Boone). Romantic love (Sayid/Shannon – Kate/Jack/Sawyer – Sun/Jin – Desmond/Penny – Hurley and his crazy, now deceased gal).
So the ending was romantic, and sweet, and over the top in its foolish idealistic notion of love reunited, but you know what?
I had a wee bit of a tear in me eye watching it, so I’m not about to complain.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Another Smiley Update
Today's evaluation went MUCH better.
Bear in mind the majority of the results/opinons/beliefs of the psychologists were still not revealed to us, probably because of all the confusion they generated yesterday. We'll have to wait until the 5th for that.
But . . Smiley charmed the heck out of the women, just being as friendly and outgoing as he's ever been - and more than once they commented on how big of a smile he has.
They ran him through a whole battery of tests, many more than yesterday. On everything remotely mechanical or hands on he aced it. Break a toy into its component pieces and put it back together - check. Unscrew a bottle, remove the contents, replace them one by one - check. Stack and build blocks - check. Untie a knotted necklace, remove the beads, and then thread them back on - check (and without even being instructed; that seemed to impress them).
When he finished threading the beads he went up to one of the psychologistsm,put the necklace on her neck and tried to tie it on - priceless.
He also did surprisingly well in identyifing both colors and shapes, given the fact that he refuses to acknowledge those things whenever we've tried to teach him. In fact, we were floored he knew them at all.
He could also ID items and pictures and immediately associated a photo of an object with the real thing, like a door for example.
His attention span was much better, although they too noticed he was hyper-focused at times and distracted at others.
Again, they were loathe to tell us too much, but one of the women said that he was far and away too intelligent and advanced for her (very extremely disabled) program and that she would be recommending he be rejected.
That's great news.
The bad news is much shorter in length because we won't know much until the 5th.
Smiley's vocab is still limited to 11 words, and most of them chopped up vowel sounds rather than full English words.[dada, 'ocks (socks), kay (ok), 'all (ball), 'ore (more), mom/'om, bu-eyyye (bye), bu-oke (broke), and three more that slip my mind.)
He uses no two-word combinations, does not respond to or try to engage in singing, and showed no sign of developing language.
Yet again, more news to follow on the 5th, but I think the general consensus is that it's it's like a whole chunk of his ability to communicate verbally just fails to fire up, or isn't there at all.
From what they said it seems certain he will have intensive treatment of some type in the summer and will quite probably be in a special-ed program come the fall. They were quick to point out that it's not as bad as the stigma implies and that it isn't/wouldn't be a lifelong label, but something to be reviewed again every three years.
So, wait and see. More news to follow on the 5th.
Tags: Smiley
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Update on Smiley
This post involves the medical condition/academic evaluation of Smiley; if that doesn't interest you, kindly skip it. I hate reading about medical conditions just about as much as I hated writing this one, so I'll understand.
A very confusing day regarding Smiley:
We had an in-home visit by a cognitive researcher, whatever that is, to determine how much his hearing problems have inhibited his learning. That was what I was told the visit was about, but in actuality it also seemed to judge his overall learning potential and intelligence.
Basically the lady showed up, plopped herself down on my living room rug and ran Smiley through a series of tests. He took to her quickly and seemed at ease. He did well at first but within a few minutes seemed to lose his way.
According to the woman's vernacular he acted according to his 'own agenda'.
The results are confusing, with Lisa coming away with a more positive outlook than I did, and both of us drawing different conclusions from the same statements.
Overall he tested at average to slightly below average learning ability, although the researcher admitted his attention span played a role in that verdict. She termed his attention span very low but did not slap a label on it, having made clear that ADD is in her opinion 'very over diagnosed' in children. She admitted some of it could just be due to an 'off' day, and some could be because he has yet to be exposed to an organized classroom.
She said he was very behind on his speech and could not put two words together, whereas by his age he should (at a minimum) be putting 3 or 4 together.
She deemed him in need of medical/therapeutic 'intervention'. We asked if it was something that, left untreated, would have cleared up by itself so that he was 'normal' by YaYa's age.
"Oh, no," she said. "He needs some help"
Remember that Montessori school we were so happy he was accepted into? The researcher, although she has no say in it, said it was completely the wrong environment for him. If he bounces back enough to attend in the fall she recommended a different, more structured classroom setting.
Here's an odd thing: she told us to forget about toilet training. She said it went hand in hand with his speech development and that it would be taken care of by any educational program he was put in over the summer.
That was my interpretation: Lisa believes it to be more positive, pointing to the fact that even given his attention span today he ranked as 'average' or close to it and seemed to do well on many of the tests, esp. those involving building. She also points out that he was able to ID many items and colors and followed decently complicated directions.
"You're just upset that he isn't a Danny," Lisa said later. "But that isn't the end of the world. He'll be fine."
The speech pathologist was supposed to do her gig today too but rescheduled for tomorrow afternoon, which SUCKS, as I'd cleared today's schedule and had obligations Thursday.
Then, while on the road, Lisa called me. She was upset because a different cognitive researcher had called and said she would attend the speech evaluation tomorrow. Apparently woman #1 called her and recommended a second opinion based on some questionable 'test results'.
A whole lot of confusion and questions errupted. In response woman #1 called back and reitterated that she evaluates potential, whearas the second woman checks current ability.
Seems redundant, given I can't imagine they use different tests, but whatever. I'm begining to distrust the process in my conservative core; the 'welfare state' is rarely your ally.
But we'll see what the folks tomorrow say, and then what the big panel review on next Wednesday deems the best course of action.
Tags: Smiley
Monday, February 25, 2008
Help me make a list of Must Read Books
A few weeks ago I settled a lingering dispute with the library, shelling out $45 to pay for a book I (allegedly) returned damaged.
It’s great that my library card is clear, but it’s also a little sad how quickly my book addiction came roaring back. As I type this I have 5 or 6 library books in the entryway, another half dozen on the high chair, one on the floor of LuLu’s room, one beside me on the couch, four in the 1st floor bathroom, a pair in my attache case, and a few more in my bedroom.
For me it‘s like crack, but regrettably without the weight loss benefits.
On a serious note, the newfound library privileges have inspired me to set out on a quest of sorts.
I may have a bachelor’s degree and some post grad work, but I’m smart enough to know there are gaping holes in my literary knowledge.
I know next to nothing about classical Greek and Roman writing. Literature from outside the English-speaking world? Nada, save for the occasional South American novel. The ‘modern’ novel that the New York Times calls brilliant and the public ignores? Never touched the stuff.
I’d like to rectify that.
I aim to come up with a list of books - the occasional bit of nonfiction, but predominantly novels - that would give me (or some schmoe visiting from Mars) a solid and well-rounded idea of what literature exists, and a taste of its greatness.
I thought about choosing 100 books, but that can be lopped off in a year. 1000? Too many to be realistic. If the list settles around 500, give or take a dozen, I could read 20 of the books a year, thereby finishing it in a quarter century, and still have plenty of room to read whatever strikes my fancy.
Yeah, I'm gambling I can last another 25 years. Why not?
Ideally (and this may change) I’d like the list to be as follows. I‘ve included some examples of what I think each category is ‘aiming‘ for, although that doesn‘t guarantee the example will make the cut in the end:
I. ‘Classical’ works and literature to 1500 - Herodotus, Homer, Beowulf, Chaucer, Aesop, The Arabian Nights
II. 16th thru 18th Century - Shakespeare, Voltaire, Defoe, Jonathon Swift, Don Quixote
III. The 19th Century - take your pick here: Twain, Dickens, Austen, Shelley; a veritable‘all-star’ century of the Western novel
IV. The 20th Century to the Present - 25 years from now when this list is finished it will probably make more sense to divide the category into 20th and 21st century works, but here and now that seems like a stretch. I'd consider divying it up to pre-and post War books, or some other artificial division. Hemingway, Steinbeck, Morrison, Heller, Vonnegut.
V: World Literature - I’m eager to sample some of the fine Japanese and Asian writers, and I understand Africa is producing some notable work. This category would include works across the centuries. As I am Polish by heritage I insist on placing Henryk Sienkiewicz on the list (I think he’d be in the running anyway) and the epic poem Pan Tadeusz.
* * *
Ah, here’s where it gets complicated. I’d like to flesh out these categories, but haven’t yet decided whether to fold the following into the five areas I’ve outlined or have them stand on their own.
A. Children’s Literature - The Cat in the Hat, The Wizard of Oz, Corduroy, The Little Engine that Could
B. Memoirs/Biographies: Please, no one boring. Ben Franklin, U.S. Grant, Boswell’s diaries.
C. History: Caesar’s Commentaries on the Gallic War, works by Bruce Catton, The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, Albert Speer. This is my passion and could get long-winded.
D. Genre: I would ideally like to include, say, the top 25 books in the categories of: horror, mystery, Westerns, thrillers, and science-fiction and fantasy. Please bear in mind that on the printed page I detest nothing more than elves, dwarves, and fairies, which has always handicapped my reading of fantasy.
E. Religion - sure, the Bible, tho’ I’m not sure I’ll ever go cover to cover in one shot. But I’m thinking more along the lines of Pilgrim’s Progress, City of God (St. Augustine), the works of Aquinas, and even Luther’s thoughts.
F. Nonfiction (non History/biography) - A Brief History of Time, Silent Spring.
For assistance in compiling these books I’m turning to everyone I know, including (naturally) you, dear reader. I hope to have the list ‘finalized’, by April or May.
Some helpful words of advice: keep in mind that whenever a list like this is compiled it reflects, at least in part, the reader. I make no apologies for being a proud American male living in the year 2008; because of this I anticipate that the list will unabashedly lean towards Western literature. Without trying to offend anyone, I’malso not all that keen on reading some tract on Wicca or Scientology or an aggressively anti-male feminist rant.
Even so, I aim to have the list be rather inclusive.
I'm also unsure at the moment on how to approach which individual work of an author to include. Do I pick the 'best' of the bunch, or the book that made their reputation? I lean towards a vague, case by case approach.
To fabricate an oddly irrelevant example: if we were talking about books as if they were Patrick Swayze movies, I'd probably take Dirty Dancing over Ghost even tho' the latter is better, because Dancing is still a good film and synonoymous with Swayze.
On the other hand, discussing Al Pacino in the same light, I'd skip Scarface and go with Godfather or Dog Day Afternoon, despite Scarface meeting the Dancing requirement.
I'm an odd guy sometimes.
Back to cold reality: If you need a place to start, check out The New Lifetime Reading Plan by Fadiman and Major, 1001 Books to Read Before You Die (multiple authors), and the 501 Must Read Books.
So mull it over. Scratch a few titles on a napkin when the mood strikes you, think about it on the john, etc.
Soon enough I’ll post an entry about one of the areas I mention above and we’ll debate it in detail.
See you then.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
The leavings of my fragile little mind
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Joe Loong would be proud
Why? Because good ol' Joe once wrote about the importance of linking to the ideas and sites you talked about, and brother this one's gonna take the cake.
Many times on BlogExplosion I've come across a blog called No Ordinary Moment. Among other blog-y posts it features the artwork of the author, and I'm quite fond of her work.
As a matter of fact, were I ever to be in the position where I could afford to throw down a spare $85 on artwork - or just have a spare $85 period - I'd probably pick up a piece she did called Fraility.
Anyhow, today her blog featured a youtube clip of The Turtles singing their signature hit "Happy Together".
Cheerful eh? Eeven if you get the sense it's all a bit tongue-in-cheek.
Quite the websurfer tonight, I searched for some additional Turtles' clips, and came across this gem. In it the much older Turtles (circa 1990, if YouTube can be trusted) discuss, in painful but humourous detail, the problems they had with their managers during their career. Think it's a simple thing? Just try following the chart they draw:
Note: Well, AOL isn't allowing me to embed right about now, so here's the url for the clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JHN5HaUg28
I'll try to add it once the entry is saved, so be patient ;)
Here it is: