DWTS was fun to watch - except the bit involving Kate, who makes me look like Gene Kelly. Geesh. She's LOUSY. Anyhow, I voted for Buzz Aldrin ,soley because he's a certified American hero and a good joe. That ticked off Lisa, who feels his lack of ability violates the the spirt of the show. Plus she thinks he pimps the moon too often; but hey, that's his schtick. What's he supposed to sell, the new season of Chuck?

 As I work 13 hours tomorrow (and it's a Friday in Lent anyhow) I spent part of my paycheck in advance by taking the family out to Applebee's after work. The waitress sucked, the kids portions were sized for toddlers, and the kids were so rightfully bored with the long wait. Still, a dinner out is a dinner out, and Lisa walked the kids to the restaurant while I was driving home from work. The sight of my family walking and chatting together was heartwarming.

 Listening to 'Johnny Cash at Folsum Prison' before work. Great album.

Sacre Blue by Christopher Moore

 Today I finished reading "Sacre Bleu" by Christopher Moore. Per the terms I agreed to when I was given the electronic ARC, I am not allowed to comment on or review the novel until after its publication date. That is bull, esp. since the book was good and deserves some word of mouth advertising. But, c'est la vie. I will say there is a great, almost throw-away line in the book. When his young son asks him to explain the word 'rape', a father asks him if he remembers how he explained that he and his wife "make love". When the son responds that he does, the father says "Well, rape is making hate." Well said.

Melancholia

Last night we watched "Melancholia". It was beautifully filmed (the scene of the horses galloping in the fog was breathtaking) but the movie itself was so suffocatingly depressing that we texted a depressed friend to avoid it at all costs, and Lisa was blue for much of today. I don't know how to rate it. It was . . . different.

In yet another switcharoo, the Waukesha Freeman wrote to say my column should run tomorrow (Friday). It will also run Saturday, as scheduled, in the Milwaukee Post. Please pick up a copy - and note that the Freeman website is behind a pay wall so you won't be able to view it online (for free, that is).

Gussy

 

 Some disappointing news today: the Freeman wrote to tell me my column is in limbo, as they will not be the first paper to print it; that 'honor' belongs to the weekly Milwaukee Post which will publish it on Saturday. They may still run it Tuesday morning, on the day of the primary, but I wouldn't bet on it.

Books YaYa Read Recently

 In recent days YaYa has finished reading "Julie of the Wolves", "Babysitting is Dangerous" and (at my request) the wonderful "Ender's Game". She seconded my opinion of Orson Scott Card's signature work.

Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins

I finished reading "Mockingjay" by Suzanne Collins today. I'd heard this was the darkest of the three books (which it was) and that it 'ruined' the series (it didn't). SPOILERS: I would have preferred if Book 3 didn't devolve into a standard shoot 'em up, but I think the growing realization that the rebellion was just the old gov't in different clothing was an important and mature turn of events. I don't like Katniss' decision to host one final Hunger Games - b.s. is what that was - but I loved the climactic scene of Snow's scheduled execution. And that final exchange between her and Peeta "You love me - real or not real?" was perfect. Grade: B

 I had Smiley in my group today at the zoo - he is such a doll. So sweet and polite and kind. He used his $2 to buy an ice cream sandwich to share with two others. And wow, he knows so much about animals! It was fun to spend the day with him - Chris Pl-man

I Squish Your Head

 

My Nook

 

 Whoa - big news: I wrote a piece about Romney, but instead of sending it to the Journal-Sentinel I decided it was time to be bold and try to get my name better known around the state. I submitted it to two newspapers. Today, the response: both(!) wish to print it, and the editor of one *will contact the other* to see who gets dibs. Hot dog!

Update: The Waukesha Freeman has told me they'll be printing my column tomorrow *if* the smaller paper agreed to hold off running it until after the Freeman published. That was still up in the air as of a couple of hours ago, so . . . I may be in the Freeman tomorrow. Or not. Take a look in the morning and let me know one way or the other.

The Hunger Games

 I just got back from seeing "The Hunger Games". Wow. Seriously - wow. They could have raked in a fortune just by slapping something together on screen that loosely resembled the books. They could have, but they didn't. In every shot, in every scene, in every subtle adaptation from print to script, there is a respect for the source material. The best compliment? Absent the existence of the books, I still think this would rank as a damn fine movie. Well done. Grade: a solid, easy A.

Well after midnight I remembered I need to do a load of wash for school, so I was up til maybe 2 or 3. Somewhere in my exhaustion my inherent paranoia kicked in and I became certain, ab-sa-fing-lutely certain that someone had stolen my camera. It was not where I store it (but I often forget to put it there).

So do I calmly say to myself "You're cuckoo" and go to bed, or do I rip apart two different rooms at 2 in the morning, creating a debris pile the height of Mt. Suribachi? You know the answer.

Then, this AM, LuLu says to me: "Dad, do you mind if I borrow your camera for the zoo field trip?" After I explain that it has vanished, she responds. "Oh, well I wanted to charge the battery in case you said yes, so I took it out yesterday. It's in my backpack." @*&%\%#

The Rutgers Bully

I watched the 20/20 special on the Rutgers "bully" convicted of inspiring the suicide of his gay roommate.

Never mind that the facts fly in the face of the jury's decision, and that even Dan Savage has spoken in his defense. Or that the victim had actually written of the continuing depression inspired by his family's reaction to his coming out (a family that now, natch, claims to have supported him 100% gosh darn it).

The roommate is a jerk, but hardly a criminal.

Regardless, what strikes me as the most ludicrous bit is the NJ law on the books. You can be convicted of a hate crime if the victim 'feels' intimidated - EVEN IF it is proven in court that you had NO INTENT to intimidate. How is that remotely constitutional? Really??

Be careful in your comments on this post; you'd hate to make me feel bad and get tossed in jail on felony charges.

 Today's paper featured a letter to the editor defending my recent column.

The Hunger Games movie - and Junie almost burns the house down!

Last night Lisa woke up YaYa @ 11:15 pm and surprised her with the news that we'd bought tickets for the midnight premiere of the Hunger Games! They went together and had a blast, and even sat next to another STAA kid they saw there.

When they got home and woke me up it was a preview of 'Catching Fire' - YaYa saw smoke coming from LuLu and Junie's room. Sure enough, Junie had fallen asleep with her head sandwiching the desk lamp between the pillow and mattress.

Smoke was coming out, the pillow (Big Fat Kitty) was scorched and melted in bits, and Junie - she was oblivious. How my smoke detectors scream at a slightly overdone pizza but missed this is beyond me, but I'm very glad the ladies changed their minds and skipped a 3am ice cream run on the way home from the show.

 Today's paper featured a letter to the editor defending my recent column.

Catching Fire - The Hunger Games

I just finished reading "Catching Fire", the 2nd book in the Hunger Games trilogy. I liked it, but thought that a return trip to the arena was a predictable and somewhat lazy plot device. And enough with this Gale yahoo already, Katniss; sure, he's the best looking of the two in the film, but it's plain Peeta is the better man. Grade: B

The White Mountains

 Today I polished off "The White Mountains" by John Christopher, a fine young adult sci-fi novel from the late '60's. It was adapted into a long running comic in Boy's Life magazine and I lived and breathed for each issue as a kid. The book was very good - think Hunger Games, (only w/ a boy as the protagonist) but written forty years ago with a more literary edge. While I read it on my Nook, I've kept a hard copy around forever, and borrowed it to YaYa tonight. I hope she likes it as much as I did at her age. Grade: A

The Last Stand by Nathaniel Philbrick

 For the last few days I've been enthralled by "The Last Stand", a history of the battle of Little Big Horn by Nathaniel Philbrick. It's a detailed narrative of the events leading up to that infamous battle, effortlessly weaving both the Sioux and U.S. Calvary perspective. As should be the case, there are no devils - or angels - to be found, but there is plenty of courage and human failings. Reno is given a bit of a (tempered) scourging for his loss of nerve, but so is Benteen for his ill-timed tantrum against Custer. Sitting Bull is praised but also shown to be resented by fellow Sioux who felt he bullied them into a war they didn't want. And Custer? He was careless and wild, but a genius at war, and one who came perilously close to turning this tragedy into a staggering victory. A well deserved A+.

Carnage

 Lisa had me rent "Carnage" a Roman Polanski dark-comedy starring John C Reilly, Jodie Foster and Kate Winslet. It's an adaptation of a stage play, and the script works hard to fabricate reasons why these four people remain in the same room despite hating one another. For a stage production, that works - for a movie, it seems forced and claustrophobic. That having been said, I thought the movie was more fun than I expected, starting - quite literally - at the moment Kate Winslet threw up all over the coffee table.

Carnage

Lisa had me rent "Carnage" a Roman Polanski dark-comedy starring John C Reilly, Jodie Foster and Kate Winslet. It's an adaptation of a stage play, and the script works hard to fabricate reasons why these four people remain in the same room despite hating one another. For a stage production, that works - for a movie, it seems forced and claustrophobic. That having been said, I thought the movie was more fun than I expected, starting - quite literally - at the moment Kate Winslet threw up all over the coffee table.

A Response to my Column

This morning's Journal printed a response to my column by a Capt. in the Waukesha County Sheriff's Drug Unit. This evening I am pleased to see that his letter was skewered quite effectively by readers, all of whom seemed to recognize that his argument was . . . poorly thought out, to put it mildly. Your income directly depends on the continuation of this law, be it right or wrong; to me, that eliminates you as a reliable source of information on its validity.

 Two more people from my training class were fired today. 9 of 19 still remain.

Destiny of the Republic by Candice Millard

Today on my lunch hour I finished reading "Destiny of the Republic" by Candice Millard, a non-fiction account of the assassination of President Garfield. Personally, I think Millard made it read a little too "pop history" for the subject matter, but she does a great job of letting the modern reader get to know Garfield. He sounds like a great man by any definition : the poor child who grew up without a father but scrapped his way to college degree; who led Union forces to victory in Kentucky during the Civil War; who not only didn't campaign for the Presidential nomination, he tried to refuse it; the man whose views on racial equality would be impressive in 1970, much less 1880; and the father who, on the day he was shot, started the day by playing on all fours w/ his children. His death was a waste of goodness and potential, and the method of his death (rotting away for 80 days as infection literally consumed his body from inside) is horrific. RIP. Grade: A-/B+

The Man from Primrose Lane by James Renner

I was eager to read "The Man from Primrose Lane", so eager, in fact, that I read it in a single day. I loved the first 3/4ths of the book, which was a compelling blend of mystery and thriller with a subtle thread of sci-fi sneaking around in the shadows. And then . . . ah, and then. Then the book hit a wall and turned 100% into a sci-fi novel, and not a very good one. Essentially it was two different books, pasted together under the same cover. Sadly, I have to give this a C at best.

The Man from Primrose Lane

 I was eager to read "The Man from Primrose Lane", so eager, in fact, that I read it in a single day. I loved the first 3/4ths of the book, which was a compelling blend of mystery and thriller with a subtle thread of sci-fi sneaking around in the shadows. And then . . . ah, and then. Then the book hit a wall and turned 100% into a sci-fi novel, and not a very good one. Essentially it was two different books, pasted together under the same cover. Sadly, I have to give this a C at best

Destiny of the Republic by Candice Millard

Today on my lunch hour I finished reading "Destiny of the Republic" by Candice Millard, a non-fiction account of the assassination of President Garfield. Personally, I think Millard made it read a little too "pop history" for the subject matter, but she does a great job of letting the modern reader get to know Garfield. He sounds like a great man by any definition : the poor child who grew up without a father but scrapped his way to college degree; who led Union forces to victory in Kentucky during the Civil War; who not only didn't campaign for the Presidential nomination, he tried to refuse it; the man whose views on racial equality would be impressive in 1970, much less 1880; and the father who, on the day he was shot, started the day by playing on all fours w/ his children. His death was a waste of goodness and potential, and the method of his death (rotting away for 80 days as infection literally consumed his body from inside) is horrific. RIP. Grade: A-/B+

Dancing Bee

 

Junie

 

 I have a column in tomorrow (Wed's) Journal-Sentinel. Stop by Jsonline to comment or buy a paper. Thanks!

On Michelle Obama

Tonight, after work, while watching the Amazing Race with the kids, a PSA with Michelle Obama came on.

Me: I know you're going to think this is because her last name is Obama, but it's not; I don't see how people think she's so attractive. I mean, not that it matters what she looks like, but I think her face is very sharp and angry looking. I just don't get it.

Lulu: Oh, I know! Me too! But no one ever says it! And you know I don't care if she's a Democrat or whatever, so it's not that. I always thought she looked kinda like a hawk. Like, you know, she's pretttyy, but only if you look real fast. But if you keep looking, she looks mean.

edit from 2022: I wouldn't have posted this now. It just seems a little pointless and mean spirited. Not that I'm not still pointless and mean spirited, but publicly? No...

LuLu and GusGus

 

Mrs God by Peter Straub

I also finished reading Peter Straub's "Mrs. God", a ghost story set in the English countryside. While I 'got' the gist of the book, the last few pages left me scratching my head. Since it's clear the author meant the dénouement to make you gasp with delight, either I missed something or he got it wrong. Since I'm the schmuck that would be forking out the dough, I vote for "he got it wrong". C+/B-

Caligula by Aloys Winterling

I've finished reading "Caligula" by Aloys Winterling, an upcoming bio of the Roman emperor. It argues that, contrary to parochial belief, Caligula was neither insane nor, for that matter, all that wrong in what he did. I tend to agree. Look at his actions objectively in the context of his era, and you'll find an Emperor who was pretty good at what he did (and popular with the masses). It was the aristocracy that he treated with contempt, and of course its the aristocracy who lived to tell the tale of his life. Stylistically, not the greatest, so I rate this only a B+ for history fans.

Hitchers by Will McIntosh

 I've finished reading "Hitchers" by Will McIntosh. It begins with a terrorist attack that kills half a million in Atlanta, but oddly that plays almost no part in the bk; saying it does would be like saying a bk that starts w/ a rainstorm is all about meteorology. Finn is a 30'something on the rise when he becomes possessed by the voice, then the personality, of his gruff, abusive - and quite dead - grandfather. Soon the phenomenon becomes widespread, and Finn must scramble to find a way to close the 'hole' to the afterlife before the dead consume the living. If you can tolerate a brief foray into New-Agey philosophy, it's quite and intelligent novel. A-

Atrocious

The other night I watched the Spanish language film "Atrocious". When a family is brutally murdered in the Spanish countryside, the police (and viewer) examines 37 hours of "found" footage left behind by the victims. It's a ho-hum horror film with a few scares, but you're often left wondering why they don't just drop the camera and run already. Still, the end was a nice (if small) twist. C.

Jack and Jill

It's a travesty that the Academy Awards don't give proper weight to a performance in a comedy. You want proof? Al Pacino in Adam Sandler's "Jack and Jill". He was GREAT, and if it's possible he climbed up a few notches on my 'best of' list. He deserved a supporting actor nomination. BTW, the movie itself was surprisingly funny. Given Pacino's performance, and the LOL's w/ Sandler, I rate it an A.

 

 Junie accidentally spilled a glass of chocolate milk in my shoes the other day. Despite cleaning them, I'm afraid they will forever carry the faint odor of spoiled milk.

A New Cat for Team Slap

Tonight I took the kids to pick out a cat from the Humane Society.

Idiotically, I took them along and so suffered through two plus hours of misery w/ Junie and Smiley, while LuLu was cool and YaYa was very helpful.

The cat we wanted was adopted out. We chose another but he was too eager to flee and would prob drive me nuts worrying about his whereabouts. We settled on a 4yr old male short haired cat named Flock(!) who has lost the sight in one eye due to glaucoma or cataracts (I forget which).

Anyhow, he seems to get along with Angel, which was our main concern, and he's a loving and spry cat. LuLu wanted to change his name to David, but I told her to reserve that for her future son. We may go w/ the name of the cat we originally wanted: Gus-Gus.

All reactio

A Lost Boy in our Yard

Yest evening I came home and found an 18 month old boy playing in the yard, enjoying my kids toys. There are no kids on my block, or across the alley, so we had no idea where he came from. I set out to see if there was a search party out while the kids and Lisa enjoyed his company. After 20 min we called the police. Just before they showed up (10 or 15 min later) the boys Grandma came down the alley calling his name. Apparently she was babysitting and he wandered out of the yard. He must have seen our toys and decided it was as good a rest stop as any. In the end we let the boy take Junie's old pushcar and a toy lawnmower with him.

 Happy 7th (golden) birthday Smiley! May you have 100 more! We love you buddy!

100 Years of Oreo

 Today is the 100th birthday of Oreo cookies. All hail!

Success

 A successful Tiger meeting today, with the kids doing color wheels and magic tricks. I had a third project ready, but we ran out of time - always a good sign.

2 Movies

Two films last night before retiring by 11. 'Beneath the Darkness' a 'thriller' (yawner) starring Dennis Quaid, who seemed to either be off his game or so nauseated by the script he decided to ham it up. We didn't even finish it. Then on to "Shut up Little Man" a documentary about the audio recordings two guys made of their argumentative and violent alcoholics. I don't see the appeal of the tapes, but the documentary was entertaining, if a little prone to reading to much 'art' into the candid vulgarity. B.

Smiley's Birthday!

We just got back from Smiley's 7th birthday party! We held it at LIGHTSPEED, a go-cart and Lazer Tag center that occupies the former Allied Pools building at Coldspring & 27th. It's a brand new business that opened on the 1st, and the kids had a blast. We played two games of LazerTag, had a party room to ourselves, and had a free go-gart ride for Smiley. They need to organize themselves better, but again this is a mere four days after they opened. Lu's already talking about having her bday party there in June. Stop in and take a look.

What Can I Say?

Lisa, on my status update about the exam: I would've hated you if we'd gone to school together. Who refuses to use the book during an open book test? I'd have stolen your lunch money. Seriously, who does that? 

LuLu:  (looking confused): I have

YaYa: Yeah, me too. 

LuLu (bewildered): Uh, if you know the answers, why do you need to look in the book? It just takes longer that way. 

(silence in the car) Lisa, to me: Your kids suck.

Three Movies

3 movie marathon w/ Entourage last night, and I'm afraid they were all mediocre. 

"Dream House" with Daniel Craig: I guessed the big twist a few scenes in, and while it still had a ways to go after the reveal, it was never very special. 

C. "The Thing" - like the first two versions, only with a lot of CGI that ruins the suspense and adds needless gore. 

C. "Hugo" - it was fine, but the story never moved me and the look was too Polar Express. Plus Sasha Cohen sux. B/B-

Junie on the Phone

Today being my sister Katie's birthday, I had the kids call and wish her well. Before we put Lauren on the phone LuLu warned her that she'll talk forever. 

Most people assume we're being cute or exaggerating when we say that, but Junie will talk non-stop FOR AN HOUR OR MORE if you do not intervene. I have personally taken a 45 min car ride with her and never had a moment to interject a word. Not a word. I'm not sure she even breathes during her monologues. 

Anyhow, according to my phone my sister lasted 9 min 42 sec listening to Junie ramble, then surrendered and hung up. No matter; Junie continued to speak into the dead phone for another ten minutes before she noticed. {shakes head}

Angelmaker by Nick Hardaway

Tonight I finished an e-ARC of "Anglemaker" by Nick Hardaway [publication date 3/20/12].

It's the story of Joe Spork, the son of an infamous but beloved gangster, who tries to live a good and peaceful life as a clock maker. Unfortunately, his family's past includes the construction of a doomsday device centered around mechanical bees, and things begin to go poorly for our hero.

It's a "modern world collides with secret steampunk" set in London, and features a 90 yr old female super spy, mysterious monks made out of metal, and a dastardly villain worthy of a movie serial, the horrid Opium Khan.

It's a rollicking adventure, but Hardaway will have to tighten up the construction a wee bit before he earns an A from me: B/B+

 Our lights went out twice in this snowstorm.

 Folks, I guess my status updates have given the impression I'm worried about the job, or intimidated by the casualty rate among the new-hires. Not so. I'm doing fine. It just boggles my mind that 7 people have been cut out of such a small group. I didn't expect that. That's all. But thanks for the well wishes anyway

Warning: Obnoxious smarty pants bragging ahead. Not only did I score only one wrong on the final (on a subjective question I still believe I got right), but I was also the first one done in the class. Oh, did I mention it was an open book/notes test, and yet I refused to use either? Holla.

Another trainee is gone, leaving 12 of the 19 to take the final training exam tomorrow.

Archer - Season Two

I finished season two of Archer on Netflix. Lisa doesn't dig it, calling it 'vulgar', but I think it's one of the funniest, best written shows out there. The episode where Archer goes on a rampage against the Irish mob ("The Placebo Effect" was wicked good, btw. A.