Hey, lend me a hand will ya?

Just for the record, Raspberry Beret is my favorite Prince song, although Get Off comes in a close second.

With that important fact out of the way, on to the business at hand.

I might have mentioned this before, but a close friend of mine has a friend who's wife is a professional blogger in these parts. Friend of a friend's wife . . yeah, that's right.

Anyway, to my friend's credit this seemed to annoy him, what with me still blogging here for free while she earned a living doing the same thing. Having some connections at that company himself, he promised to put a word in for me.

But he wanted some information to prime the conversation, such as how many visitors I average, etc.

Well, that average is 41 a day, although my mini-vacation is skewing the numbers downward. 1230 visitors a month isn't too bad for a site that now depends soley on word of mouth for advertising (instead of sites like Blog Explosion).

But I'd like some additional info to give him. Keep in mind that at this point my chances of being paid to write are roughly equal to that of being paid to dance covered in baby oil, but what the hell. You never really know; there's always some freak out there who'll  pay for the goods.

So with that in mind, be you a regular who leaves comments or a longtime lurker, please complete these quick survey questions.

If yes . . .

If yes  . . .

Some background info . . .

If outside the U.S . .

Thanks for the help!

Of Rockies, Inherited skill, and what little I learned yesterday

I don't have much to say about the events of yesterday yet, other than on the surface it seemed positive. Assurances were made, the right words floated into my ears . . and I'm not sure I bought any of it.

We'll see.

Add to that a rigorous 5 hour city inspection that morning that ended about 20 seconds before the meeting began, and you have one heck of a workday.

On the other hand the inspection allowed me no time to prepare for - or worry about - the meeting, so it did have a positive spin.

* * * * *

If we ever get that print/save option for the journals I'm going to pay someone to index this site. AOL Journal's little search box is for sh*t.

Here at Slapinions I wrote about Joe Hill's debut novel Heart Shaped Box. Good luck locating the post.

All that aside, it turns out that Joe Hill is the pseudonym for none other than the son of Stephen and Tabitha King.

Yes, that Stephen King.

I was suitably impressed by the book and the writing and I'm . . wow, it sounds so lame . .but I'm tickled that the apple didn't fall far from the tree.

I look forward to his next novel.

* * * *

God Bless MLB Extra Innings.

Last night I watched the Rockies and Padres take a 0-0 score into the 14th inning. I'm not going to say it was an incredible game, because no sport should go 3 hours without a goal/run/touchdown being scored. It just isn't right.

I gave up on the game in the 15th and went to bed. That was around 1 am my time.

In the morning I discovered the game went 22 innings. There was a seventh innings stretch, and a 14th inning stretch, and a 21st inning stretch.

I'd have walked out of the park long before that came to pass.

Anywho, the Rox won 2-1 on an unearned run in the end.

But it was a play in the 13th that grabbed my attention. Paul McAnulty of the Padres led off the bottom of the inning with a double to right. Conventional baseball wisdom says that when one run wins the game, you don't push your luck. You're already in scoring position sitting on second, and you sure as heck don't make the 1st or 3rd out trying for an extra base.

So what does he do? He turns the corner and chugs for third. Now I'm no big Rockies fan, but I chose sides in this contest and that side was Colorado. Even so, when I saw him head for third my first thought, word for word was "What the hell is he doing? Dumb a**"

And here comes a rocket throw from the rightfielder to his cutoff man, who rifles it to third with plenty of time to spare.

Out.

The next batter bloops a single that *would* have won the game but now accomplished nothing, and the Padres go on to lose hours later.

Fundamentals people. Live and die by them in baseball. Fundamentals.

Sunshine

Judging by Amazon, I don't think you'll find many bad reviews of Sunshine, a sci-fi film released in 2007. That is, except for this one.

50 years from now the sun is dying and a ship is dispatched to re ignite the star with a nuclear blast. Something causes that ship to fail while out of communication range with Earth, and a second, 'last best hope' crew is sent. Enter our movie, as it follows the astronauts of the Icarus II on their mission.

This is not Armageddon; for all I know all the science is bunk but they make a valiant and largely successful attempt to make it as 'realstic' as possible, so much so that I think this the movie is largely accessible only to a true sci-fi fan.

My problem with the movie is that it couldn't decide what it wanted to be. It's part 2001, part Alien, part Deep Impact, and in the third act it veers rather drastically away from even that splintered identity to become of all things, a horror movie.

Forget the thumb-up-their-bum Amazon reviewers who go on and on about how this blends visual style with blah and blah and offers a spiritutal ya da yada.

Personally, I regret putting down my guitar to pop in the DVD.

2.5 stars out of 5 on my scale.

Changes

I've never talked about work on this blog, right down to clamming up about what line of work I'm in, and that's not going to change tonight.

I will however mention that big changes are in the works. 

Basically,  in the next few weeks I could be out of a job. Most of the staff believes they are in the same position but I think the top of the totem pole is what's most at risk of getting cut down. I suppose there are other scenarios, right up to the idealistic 'things are going to get better'  but those aren't the thoughts you bank on.

I can't talk freely until all is said and done, or at least don't feel 'right' doing so, but there are pros/cons to all the alternatives.

By Thursday night I *might* have an idea of what the future holds, or at least have put the picture slightly more in focus.

In the meantime I've tried to finagle our bills to give us a worst-case buffer against the night. We're also in the process of refinancing the house, obstenively to re-do the roof. But an increasingly important incentive  is the lower payment the (vastly) reduced interest rate will give us. That might come in handy real soon.

We'll see. Wish me luck, whatever fates definition of 'luck' might turn out to be.

Quote of the Day "No One"

An hour after I put the kids to bed I heard footsteps upstairs. Moving to the stairs I could hear the faint sounds of a TV, sneakily turned on with the volume down.

"Who's still awake up there!" I said. 'Said' is a misnomer. It was more like the battle cry of a Visgoth.

"No one-", YaYa said quickly, starltled into responding without thinking. 

I heard a disgusted sigh at her own slip of the tongue, a moments pause, and a resigned "We all are."

It'd be funny if it wasn't a sign of dismal parenting on my part. How they avoided detection for so long is beyond me. They can't go two minutes without equaling the decibel level of a jet during the day, but try to put them to bed and they can sneak around like they have their own private 'mute' button at their disposal.

Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium

I'm the first to admit, I thought this movie would  be a bore. If you saw the previews you couldn't help but walk away with that impression.

A magic toy store you say? Run by a foppish eccentric who acts like a child and talks like the Mad Hatter?  What's that? The shop horribly rendered silent and still when the youngin' loses her faith in it? Oh my - perhaps, maybe, well, do ya think? - maybe believing in yourself will right all the wrongs and restore magic and happiness to children everywhere!

Tonight, when our DVD copy of The Water Horse failed to work, the family sat down and ordered this movie on pay-per-view despite those previews.

And wouldn't you know it, the movie was a pip. We all loved it (although Lu and Smiley couldn't make it through the whole thing).

Forget the preview, even if it does give you the skeleton of the story; after all, it's the meat and heart that really count.

Hoffmann is wonderful as Magorium, genuinely funny and delightful - he rather reminded me of a Troughton Dr. Who to be honest - and the story is about, of all things, his impending death and the handing off of the store to his young assistant, played by Natalie Portman.

I thought Portman was adequate, but not much more, and her unusually short hair confused the girls ("Is that a boy or a girl?" both YaYa and LuLu said at different times). In addition I'd have chopped 10 minutes or so from the third act.

That aside,  I'm going to add this movie to our regular kid-friendly rotation. It was grand.

And I'll probably watch it again just to snag a few of Magorium's quips.

It's DeLovely

We left the hotel, quickly discovered and corrected a flat tire, and headed out to Fort Atkinson, an hour or so outside Milwaukee.

Mapquest was dependable, as always, but took us on a leisurely route through the countryside. Here our new MP3's came in handy, and having Garth on the radio brought back memories of trips down to Georgia back in the glorious pre-kid days.

Once we got to the booming 7,000 person metropolis we found ourselves with four hours to spare before our reservations. We burned an hour getting a light lunch at a local diner, avoided a rainstorm in the process, and then hunted for something to do with the remaining time.

Enter ShopKo.

Somehow I had managed to go all my life without walking through the doors of a ShopKo. When Lisa correctly stated they were a Wal-Mart clone, I was interested enough to give it a go.

Two and a half hours later we exited with four pairs of shoes, a bra and a shirt for Lisa, a pair of sandals and a shirt for me, boots for YaYa, an obscure Lawrence Block paperback, some trinkets for the kids, some more expensive ($3 ish ;) toys as souvenirs for the kids, and probably some other stuff I've forgotten.

"You held up well in there," Lisa said when it was over. "I'm proud of you."

We took advantage of their restrooms to change into our dinner duds and headed over to the Fireside Theater.

The Fireside is perpetually advertised on TV here, but I will confess ignorance of the art, so much so that I assumed you actually ate your dinner while they performed around the tables.

Plus the outside looked pretty dissapointing.

We stopped before going in and kept up an old tradition, dating back to1995: we took an awkward self-portrait of us.

Inside my impression changed. After checking in we explored what seemed like an endless string of gift shops. You'd reach the end of one and walk into another, and another, and another. There's a Music Shop, a Garden Shop, an art area, and so on. The sheer scopeof it all  was really quite impressive.

BTW, I was grooving on Lisa pretty hard, as I thought she looked quite yummy.

We picked up a magnet from the show, keeping in line with a theater tradition of ours, and were idiotically dumbfounded by the following.

No, there is NO pipe connecting to the back of the faucet. The secret, which in retrospect is obvious: there is a clear plastic tube running between the faucet and watering can, with the water running up the tube and cycling back down.

That didn't stop us from waving our hands behind the faucet like a stooge at a magic show.

Then, on to dinner. The Fireside can seat 1000 people for dinner, and we were in one of the far dining rooms. That was a plus, as it gave us the chance to be properly awed by the size of the place. Lisa and I shared the same thought: it was like being back on our cruise.

Dinner was a five course affair. An olive based spread on toasted baquette (sp?), a splendid soup, salad, fresh baked breads, and then the main events. I had a salmon and asparagus version of the beef plate.

Chef-carved medallions of roast tenderloin of beef on a toast crouton w/ three peppercorn Madeira Wine Demi-Glaze Sauce. Potato Croquette au Gratin and French String Beans. Baked Peach Half with a Brandied Mincemeat Center.

Chocoalte Praline Mousse Diamond Presented on Crème Anglaise flavored with Grand Marnier and garnished with Fresh Berries.

And coffee, a grasshopper, and a fine strawberry drink.

Oh. My. Lord.

Here's a very neat part of the experience: while we were dining the owner of the Fireside came and spent about five minutes with us. 1000 people there for dinner, and he spends five minutes on a couple of first-timers from Milwaukee.

He told us some of the history of the place (the red statue in front was dedicated by then-Gov. Knowles in 1970; the popular restaurant added theater. in 1977 when the local university held a show there after a last minute emergency; etc)

He was a very nice, cordial man, very down to earth, and extremely proud that the theater used only Actor's Equity performers, many of whom had gone on to star in Broadway roles, some  'paying back' their big break with a return to the Fireside as a favor to him.

(oh, and it turns out my parents went there once right after I was born, when it was still 'just' a restaurant. My Mom recalled it was with some of my Dad's co-workers from the bank where he worked at the time, and that she bought me a dog puppet from one of the shops)

Did I mention dinner was wonderful?

Afterwards, Cole Porter's Anything Goes. It was performed in the round and sadly one scene was obscured by the performers (but alas, obscured by the derrieres of three dancers, so it was not a total loss).

It was a very good performance, despite what I thought was a lukewarm rendition of Sir Evelyn Oakleigh (who did turn on the charm after a rousing Let's Misbehave)

Three standouts: Brian Ogilvie did a great job as Billy Crocker, the stunning Stephanie Kay Swant gave an energetic and crowd pleasing turn as the 'Angel' Purity, and Law and Order vet Don Stitt unequivocally stole the show as Moonface Martin.

Man, I love musicals.

What a grand experience. I have no doubt we'll be back. 

Meanwhile, at 11 pm we still had an hour's drive to our next hotel . . .

This Ain't No Chuck E. Cheese

What lousy timing with that Guest Editor business. It was published Friday and I left town that very day, depriving me of enjoying the adulation I so fully deserve.

But we needed the time away. It was our first vacation of any kind since '06 and our first trip sans kids since '05.

Still, I had plans of saving some $ and spending Friday night at home, albeit a home gloriously empty of children. But after devoting half an hour to cleaning the mess the water caused the night before, we said 'see ya!' and headed out the door.

First stop: an average Mexican restaurant in Cudahy, where the only thing of note was the disgusting tongue-action between a homely 50-ish couple in the booth behind us.

[Note: aside from the fact that they sat on the same side of the booth, routinely traded tongues, and had their hands (shiver) disappear beneath the table quite a bit, may I just say to the gentleman, should he be reading this:

Your waist is not located on a plane even with your nipples. Wear your pants below your chest. Trust me. There is a middle ground between my plumber's crack and your . . whatever that was.

The world thanks you in advance for your co-operation.]

Then it was on to At Random, a south-side bar that Lisa's been trying to get me to visit for ages.

It's been in business for more than 40 years in a converted South-side home. Their menu proudly advertises that they don't serve beer or wine. So what do they have? Pretty much anything else on earth.

Aside from the drinks, the place is famous for its decor. It's very dark in there, even by tavern standards, and much of what illumination there is comes from fiber optic Christmas trees scattered about. Mid-century jazz plays over the loudspeaker, and our waitress was easily seventy or older.

It's not intentionally kitschy you understand, they just haven't found a need to change in 40 years.

The owner is a big, gruff guy that Lisa warned me was 'intimidating'. I guess I can see that, but he was just fine with us. Not so the case with some college age couples who wanted to change booths - oh the looks he gave them! They're very finicky about who gets in and where they sit.

[True story: once upon a time Lisa went to At Random with a bachlorette party and they were refused seats.

"But it's my bachlorette party," Lisa's friend said.

Nothing.

"There's a whole couch that would fit us," she said, referring to a wrap-around in one of the rooms.

Blank.

"We could sit at different tables," she pleaded. By this point she was crying, with tears just streaming down her face.

His final, unequivocal answer, said with a snarl and a trace of contempt: "This ain't no Chuck E. Cheese. This place is for couples. Get out."]

Lisa ordered a mint drink that tasted like a Girl Scout Thin Mint cookie, and I settled on a delicious concoction made of Irish Cream, Vodka, and Oreos - three of the best things on earth - mixed with ice cream.

It was grand, but they taste so much like harmless confections that you drink the whole thing before BOOM! the booze hits you blindside.

From there it was on to a local hotel where we spent the night. Aside from everything else that was great about the hotel, Lisa found herself entranced by Peter Jackson's King Kong, something she'd never, ever have rented or watched at home.

In the morning it was off to Fort Atkinson.

I'm AOL Guest Editor this week

Go check it out here; after the weeekend I'll repost the whole thing here for posterity :)

UPDATE: Here it is. Oh, and one more thing: in the song, when they say "I just flipped our President George" they are referring to George Herbert Walker Bush, circa 1991, not our current President. I guess some folks have always felt it was nifty to disrespect a man for no reason other than his politics. None-the-less, I love the song

* * * *

 

Hi, I'm Dan, better known as Slapinions in these parts, and I'm thrilled to have been chosen as AOL Guest Editor.

 

For those of you who haven't stopped by my site before, I'm a married father of four (three girls/one boy, all age six and under). A comprehensive summary of yours truly can be found here so I'm not going to bore you with all the details.

 

But if you're interested, here's a brief glimpse into the inner workings of Slapinons mind :)

 

I still mourn the passing of Chi-Chi's and their Twice Grilled Barbeque Burrito.

 

I like Alanis Morissette, was once famed for doing a nightly Backstreet Boys dance in front of the security cameras at work, and collect New Kids on the Block merchandise . . yet look with manly scorn upon anyone who listens to Nickelback.

 

I think a Yankees captain/shortstop who refuses to move positions when his team picks up possibly the *best* shortstop EVER is no captain at all.

 

Dada had only the briefest of moments in the sun, but as college radio hits go, Dizz Knee Land  is a pleasant legacy to leave behind.

 

 

 

 

I’ve sat on two different committees for two different elementary schools, and the complaints from the neighbors are always the same. Note to all: if you don’t like children, detest the sounds of playground chatter, and object to traffic on your street for a half-hour around 8 am and 3 pm, then why go and buy a house across the street from a school?

 

And I've said it before, and I'll say it again: human teeth are the only flaw in God's grand design. They hurt when they come in, they hurt when they go out, and they hurt far too often in between.

 

So on to business. I'm going to make a serious effort to feature some obscure, under-appreciated, or new journals. If you aren’t on the list but have seen me on your site please don’t feel slighted. By the rules of this thing I can’t list everyone, and maybe you had one too many comments and I figured you were doing fine without the boost. Or, you know, maybe I just forgot about you. :)

 

Jfourb’s On the Outside is a nice, happy place that largely centers on her family and their kittens.  Recently however, her college-age neighbor violently killed himself, and they’re dealing with that. This journal is vastly under-visited.  See if you can change that.

 

Recently retired, rjsisti’s Roses are Read caught my eye when I saw it on the ‘recently updated’ list of AOL Journal’s homepage.It was a brand new journal at the time and I tried to help her out with adding music to her page, without much luck. Swing on by, say hello, and maybe lend her a hand.

  

Skip3366 is a proud member of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy, and he posts frequently to his The Maverick Conservative journal. A bit too far right even for me, but often an intriguing read, I figured this list needed a wildcard. I’m sure he’ll enjoy filling the bill.

  

I was surfing through  JLand when I found this next one. I like birds, so some of the photos of our feathered friends caught my eye. Check out Nature Walks and Thoughts.

 

This next journal has been around for more than four years, which beats mine by seven months. What originally caught my eye was this bit of wisdom: Eat well, stay fit, die anyway. Check out Whispers in the Wind.

 

Last but not least, the male half of a journaling duo here in Jland: kindly stop by and visit Bucko.

 

That’s it for this week. I hope you have the opportunity to stop by and say hello to all the journals listed above (and mine too!).

 

Have a great week.

 

Dan aka Slapinions

 

 

Ps. I haven’t forgotten about getting a save/print option for our journals. Anything new on that AOL?

Water, Water, and More Water

I just returned from my twice-hourly trip to my basement to monitor and remove the rainwater that is making parts of it a wading pool.

You might remember this happened before, on the day we saw The Lion King, but this time is much worse, with an inch of standing water by the circuit box.

The culprit is clearly the two remaining 1892 Cream City brick foundation walls. We had the north/south walls replaced when we moved in, but the east/west were viewed as sound.

'Sound' maybe, but not waterproof in a deluge. The rain keeps coming today (Greenfield was completely flooded on the eastbound side between 121st and 108th and I was forced to abandon myattempt to reach the freeway and take Sunnyslope Rd. south)

Whatever. The walls still shouldn't leak. But clear as day two spots on the west wall are bringing water in, and one in the northeast corner. The latter is the bad one, pooling water in the kitty litter corner.

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

I'll try to tuck up the two walls, and I reckon I'll toss in a sump pump this summer.

Ugh.

* * *

On the upside Lisa and I are going out of town this weekend. We usually take a weekend away after she gives birth, but with the baby 8 months old we only now have time to get out of town.

In fact, it's the first trip we've taken since Disney in '06.

So I probably won't update much until Monday ;) We'll see.

If I don't, enjoy your weekend!