On two fools: one confirmed (Gov. Sanford) and one suspected (Brett Favre)

I've just read a note on Facebook that says Favre has signed with the Vikings. No confirmation yet, but if the bum has gone full Judas you can expect a post here tonight.

* * * *

In other news, South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford, ye who went off grid for a week, then resurfaced saying he was hiking the Appalachian Trail, has confessed: he was actually in Argentina visiting his extra marital lover.

What a knob.

Forget all the talk about how he's blown a run for the Presidency in 2012; IMHO he was too flaky to have had a serious shot at the job. No, my concern lies with his family, who spent Father's Day sans Dad as he bonked his girlfriend, and the people of South Carolina who now have to figure out what to do with the moron.

To me, it's all crazy. I mean actual 'get on some meds' crazy. You're the Governor and you decide to vanish from the state, without word to anyone, and leave the continent to get some tail. After a week you return, make up a goofy story that was doomed to fall apart as soon as airline records leaked, and then go all sobby-sob to the press. That isn't normal. It just isn't.

And to those who will jump on this and gloat that the party of 'family values' has failed again: I'm afraid I'll never agree, any more than I'll understand the need to disparage any attempt to promote positive values. There is no harm and plenty of good in aiming for an ideal, be it 'get married before you have a baby', 'don't cheat on your spouse', or 'don't break the bleepin' law'. If you don't hold those ideas dear, fine, I know of no law that says you have to; but don't knock people who do.

Those who stumble are not a discredit to the idea, but simply a testament to the persistent failings of human nature.

Or in the case of Sanford, of a need for some f'ing Xanax and a shrink.

By jiminy, a fine day!

I'd count Tuesday as a good day.

Sure, I said this on Facebook: Just took out two bags of water damaged trash from the basement, including (sniff) my beloved Zombie Halloween Costume! Plus I'm covered in waterlogged cat litter, but who cares -my zombie costume is ruined!

But that was the finale of my day, and note that I still had enough giddy-up to tackle a sizeable corner of the basement and fold some wash too. Naw, it was a very good day, in large part because I managed to get some things done. Like the basement, zombie tragedy aside.

Plus, Texas evened up the College World Series against LSU. Damn fine game.

Anyway, I woke up early and took my Mom to the Doctor. While she and my Dad waited I took off, went to the bank, paid off my mechanic, and stopped and got a much needed oil change for Lisa's van. With that done I wandered over to an Italian bakery and bought myself some wonderful bread before perusing a thrift shop. While I was doing this I was working the phone, and chopped off a number of important items from my 'to-do' list.

It being my mother-in-law's birthday (Happy Birthday!) I then swung by her house and traded some good natured insults with her husband. YaYa and Smiley had spent the night and we all had lunch together before my Mom (finally!) called and asked to be picked up.

I should point out, a little late in the game here, that it was a disgustingly hot and sticky day in Milwaukee, with temps near or crossing ninety and a heat index of 105. It sucked, and as you may recall, my central air is on the fritz. So when I returned home I yanked out the ol' window units and plopped 'em in.

Then it was on to a doc appointment of my own across town, before returning to join a birthday dinner and cake at my in-law's. After dinner YaYa and I ventured over to my friend Tre's house to chat for a few minutes before rejoining the clan to raid the local Dollar General . That was a vain search for a cup that Ginger would accept at bedtime. Instead we walked out with a toy gun that shoots foam balls.

"Han up Daddy" Smiley said, and would aim the gun at you like a cop who caught you in the act. "Han up." Naturally, you'd comply and raise your hands.

And then he'd shoot you right in the face and giggle.

Ah, a fine Milwaukee cop he'll be. I can already hear the union rep rallying to his cause.

And that's pretty much it. You know, in print, that looks like nothing at all.
But it sure feels like a wholehelluvalot.

Egads!

Just took out two bags of water damaged trash from the basement, including (sniff) my beloved Zombie Halloween Costume! Plus I'm covered in waterlogged cat litter, but who cares -my zombie costume is ruined!

A kind of sad, melancholy post this fine early Tues AM

Er, before I get emails saying "Where's the movie post?" - I deleted the review that posted around 1am this morning. It wasn't supposed to run until later in the year, and so I rescheduled it to correct for the error.

* * * *

In the early AM on Friday Milwaukee was hit by torrential rain and many areas flooded, including my lovely basement. It wasn't too bad this time, maybe an inch, inch and a half in parts, but I called into work the next morning to complete the cleanup, something I've done only twice this decade.

I think I have the source of the water now pegged. When we bought the house the basement featured a dirt and cobblestone floor (you read that right - mainly dirt with the occasional brick tossed in). Now the basement is wall to wall concrete. Except . . . I realized that the area under the basement stairs, which is hidden by a wood wall, still has the original flooring. That *seems* to be the entry point for the water. I'll have to attack that area soon, as I'd like to actually enjoy a summer storm for once.

Saturday was ok, and I worked most of the day anyhow. Lisa took Smiley and Ginger to Foxbrook lake and spent the day there, enjoying the sun and the water. The only real bad news? My car overheated.

Sunday was Father's Day, and I got my wish for quiet, but in the end I wasted it (by my own choice) doing nothing more constructive than watching Band of Brothers. Today I shelled out $225 for a brake repair job on the van, $225 I don't have to spare. Oh, and my central air seems to have taken a dump, just as temperatures in Milwaukee finally reach summer norms.

But other than that, and you know, thinning hair/obesity/poverty/Democrat in the White House, all is well.

In the rare good news department, I've gotten an assignment from the Journal to write a column at the start of July. Yay me.

Alright, enough of this pityfest. I'll be back with happy thoughts tomorrow.

Empolynet Hepl

Sorry for the back-to-back thoughts, but I just noticed that my sidebar here features an ad for a "Guarenteed Resume $34.95." If they can't spell their service correctly in the ad, chances are their work isn't going to impress many employers.

CWS

Just watching the College World Series game I recorded earlier tonight. Not happy that LSU won the earlier game and ousted Ark., but whatcha gonna do?

Taken

"I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you."

As a rule I do not like movies that depict the kidnapping of a child, even a teenager - not while four children still reside under my roof. Taken, starring Liam Neeson is the grand exception to that rule. It is intelligent, it is fierce, and it is enthralling.

Taken is the story of Bryan, a retired government agent who reluctantly allows his estranged daughter to visit Europe with a friend. While in Paris she is randomly kidnapped and sold into slavery by human traffickers, and her father sets out on a frantic four-day quest to rescue her. Little is mentioned about Bryan's past beyond a casual hint at past glory, but it is certain he was quite able at his profession. Throughout his search he is cool, methodical, and relentless.

A review I read warned the viewer that in the end you "will not like Bryan", presumably because of the actions he takes to recover his child. I think that statement says much more about the questionable moral strength of the reviewer than it does about the character. While Bryan carves a path through the criminal underworld of Paris, it is not done for pleasure, or for pride; he simply does not blink at doing what is necessary to rescue his child, no matter the cost.

In the end it is irrelevant whether you like or dislike the man, because you will, at the very least, applaud this movie.

3.75 out of 4, 86 out of 100.

note: There is very little I can criticize about this film, beyond Maggie Grace's portrayal of the 17 year old daughter. She bounces and runs around like a girl half her stated age. You're left wondering why her mother thought she was anywhere near mature enough to take the trip unsupervised.

Monster

Checked out Monster, then finished my night by writing a review of a great monster novel. Ck it out on here if you like; Facebook won't pull the feed for hours. 2:15?? Ugh. I'm up way too late, but that's been the norm for 35% of a century, so whatever.

In which I side with Obama (gasp!) and comment on Iran

I caught this wondeful bit of malarkey from PETA this morning.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- The group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals wants the flyswatter in chief to try taking a more humane attitude the next time he's bedeviled by a fly in the White House.

PETA is sending President Barack Obama a Katcha Bug Humane Bug Catcher, a device that allows users to trap a house fly and then release it outside. .

During an interview for CNBC at the White House on Tuesday, a fly intruded on Obama's conversation with correspondent John Harwood.

"Get out of here," the president told the pesky insect. When it didn't, he waited for the fly to settle, put his hand up and then smacked it dead.

"swatting a fly on TV indicates he's not perfect," [A PETA rep] said, "and we're happy to say that we wish he hadn't."

Why bother mincing words? What nut jobs. How can you ever take that group seriously when they spout crap like that? This society, for all its genuine problems, has FAR TOO MUCH free time on our hands. That time could be spent trying find a solution for world hunger, curing cancer, or simply helping a child learn to read. Instead, a precious few obsess about a disease carrying insect that craps wherever it lands. My word.

Good for you Mr. President. And in honor of PETA, enjoy your hamburger at lunch today - I know I will.

* * * *

I'm not a big believer in the tired axiom that history repeats itself. It doesn't - every situation is unique, with different people, circumstances, and beliefs guiding the situation. But I do find it curious that the Iranian Revolution was fueled, in part, by the Shah's failure to cut long-distance lines. That enabled Khomeini to phone in instructions and propaganda to his followers and fueled his support. Now, those in power are besieged by Twitter and Internet protests. What goes around comes around.

I don't foresee a happy ending to the situation in Iran. The hard-line Islamic government isn't going to roll over and make nice. But I do want to go on record and say I think it's imperative for the White House to publicly lend support for *peaceful* and *legal* change in Tehran. Whatever claims are made to the contrary, we are currently at war with the fundamentalist fringe of Islam, of which Tehran is a damn fine example. The only long-term solution to the problem (unless you believe perpetual violence is hunky-dory) is to promote moderate governments that place a value on freedom, not extremism.

It's a narrow line to walk, I know. Express too much support and you trigger a reflexive backlash, or more likely are made the scapegoat for the [inevitable] violent crackdown. Say too little and you are rightly criticized for not doing what you can to save lives and promote the ideals we hold dear.

But it's something that has to be done. This isn't Hungary in '56 or China in '89 - what happens in Iran is of relevant and immediate value to a conflict we are actively involved in, one which has breached our shores, one which could reverberate across the Mideast.

The world is watching. Now is not the time to play it safe.

The Strain

Sometimes it isn't necessary to reinvent the wheel and bring something new or breathtakingly original to the table. Sometimes it's enough to merely induce a course correction, to offset the current fad and bring the subject at hand back to equilibrium.

I would argue The Strain does just that with the vampire genre. The book takes a horror staple that has again become romanticized and softened and drags it back to where it belongs, to the darkness. The Strain is unabashedly content selling the notion that if vampires were real they would be ghastly parasites, creatures of death and darkness, of stench and rot.

In the book a passenger jet arrives in New York and promptly shuts down, without explanation, on the runway. Inside all but four of the passengers and crew are found dead, each victim found without signs of trauma or illness. It is, as you can guess, the beginning of the end.

In violation of a millenia-old truce one of the seven original "Master" vampires has launched an assault on North America. In his corner is the fierce speed by which the virus - for that is what it is - can be transmitted, and the reluctance of modern humans to grasp the truth.

Against him stands only two doctors from the CDC, an over sized New York exterminator, and a Holocaust survivor who first confronted The Master in the concentration camps of his youth.

I'm not a big fan of pseudo-scientific explanations for zombies/werewolves/vampires, etc. and so I would gladly have seen Hogan skip some of the biology lessons, but otherwise the novel was well constructed. Take note that the site of the World Trade Center figures prominently in the novel, something that some people will feel is objectionable - but where better for evil to breed than the place where it was practiced?

This is the first of three books planned between famed director Guillermo Del Toro and Chuck Hogan, so as expected not much is resolved in this volume. But it does a fine job of introducing the threat and those who will rise to meet it.

Recommended.

3.4 out of 4

Here's a book trailer for the novel. WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES AND LANGUAGE

Elmo Now Daddy!

I'm trying to type a post  here on Slapinons while Smiley stands behind me on the chair pulling my necklace taunt and yelling "Elmo now daddy! Elmo now!".

tired. kids and their friends are playing in the basement, no doubt destroying whatever's left in one piece down there.

Mum Mum Mum Mah

I just finished one of those ridiculous but entertaining little do-dads on Facebook, one that asks what you think consider are the five 'best' albums. By 'best' I assume they meant 'favorite', as I'm sure there's some obscure Flemish recording of farts and xylophones that meets the critics notion of 'perfection'.

Now, as God himself would acknowledge, music came close to dying the day Courtney pulled the trigger on Kurt, just as it was only truly born when Flannel came to Seattle. My list reflects those facts.

My choices: Pearl Jam's Ten, Nirvana's Bleach (eh, coulda gone with Nevermind), Garth Brooks Double Live, a best-of Artie Shaw, and the great Singles soundtrack.

BUT . . that doesn't mean I can't dig a great dance tune.

Question: How do you annoy Lady Gaga? Pokerface. How do you make her happy? Just dance.

Eh, you'll get it in a minute. Here's two of her songs, Pokerface (and baby when it's love if it's not rough it isn't fun) and Just Dance.





Enjoy!

The Memory Keeper's Daughter

One thing I don't like is when an author takes the time to ridicule other writers in his work. Stephen King has been guilty of this a few times, criticizing, among others, William Peter Blatty (The Exorcist) while oddly leaving the formulaic Dean Koontz alone.

In his recent short story collection King takes a swipe at the novel The Memory Keepers Daughter,using it to highlight the difference between the intelligent character - who couldn't get through it - and the comic foil husband who loved it.

Whatever. I didn't read the book, but Lisa did, and while she didn't rate it as high literature, she found it an enjoyable and interesting read.

Because she liked the book I rented the movie version from Netflix. It was pretty much as expected, a TV quality movie version of a tearjerker.

In the movie a respected and beloved doctor's wife gives birth to twins, a healthy boy and a girl with Downs Syndrome. As his wife passes out from the ordeal we are treated to a series of mystifying, silent flashbacks that lead the Doctor to give up his daughter to an orphanage and tell his wife she was stillborn.

We learn the flashbacks are of his own childhood, when the death of his sister broke his Mother's will to live. A fear the daughter will do the same to his wife serves as the alleged motives behind his actions. Here the novel has more time to dwell on the matter, and from what Lisa says it does a better job of justifying his feelings, but in the movie it doesn't ring true.

Anyhow, the nurse who's charged with taking the baby to the orphanage can't make herself do it, and adopts the baby as her own. For the next thirty years the Doctor lives with the knowledge that his daughter is alive and well, and as another bitter pill to swallow the guilt and shame has led to the destruction of his marriage and the alienation of his son.

The movie does a halfway decent job of redeeming the Doctor, who at heart is a good man and continues to become a better one as time goes on, and the idea of being so well and completely trapped by a single decision . . well, it's a terrifying thought.

As for the Mom,as portrayed she was a bit shallow for us to fully sympathize with her (and you'd think the audience would be 100% in her corner) and oddly, she doesn't appear to age at all in the thirty years that pass on the screen.

Not a bad movie.

2.5 out of 4.

Random thoughts on a Monday night - it is Monday right?

I was going to post my review of the hate filled The Assasination of JFK, Jr. today, but I think I'll shelve it for a bit. I hate going back to back on subject matter, be it political, reviews, or family pictures. Sure it happens sometimes, just recently in fact, but I find it's like playing two slow songs back to back on the radio - ewww.


* * *

If you're on Facebook you'll notice a big surge in my activity there. I'm still not sold on the concept, but I don't want to fall too far behind the times. Still I figure it's better than Twitter, as I see no reason to throw my every thought online. Can you imagine how boring and routine would that be? Sex, money, family, baseball, sex, sex again, means of egress in the event of the Zombie Invasion, baseball. No thanks.

* * *

Speaking of hate filled propaganda, Selena Roberts *poorly written* hatchet job on A-Rod tanked, with reports that fewer than 20,000 of the initial 150,000 printing have sold. I had the misfortune of reading a few of the ghastly chapters before I gave up and closed the cover, and trust me: it was crap.

It couldn't have happened to a better person. Keep in mind that aside from being dismissed as a hack and a fraud in the baseball community, Roberts tried, convicted, and executed the Duke lacrosse players time and time again in print - and then refused to admit she was even the tiniest bit wrong when they were exonerated. Pi*s on you Roberts, and well done Reading Public.

* * * *

Please note the re-emergence of the Free Rice game on my sidebar. Now you can choose your subject area - art, foreign language, math, etc - instead of just practicing your vocabulary.

* * * *

I'd congratulate the Lakers' on their 15th Championship, but on the rare occasions when I care about the NBA I don't devote an ounce of time to cold, corporate, high payroll teams that use their cash to dominate the league.

Now you'll excuse me as I finish signing up for my Yankees Fan Club.

TV Time

Watching I-Carly with Smiley and Ginger

Just put Ginger down for a nap. I've been calling the dentist for Lisa - the insurance claims not to have received their request for approval. I'm also writing some reviews for Slapinons to post later in the year. Meanwhile, Smiley's at a picnic and the abels 2009,

An 'animated' discussion on the 2010 Gov. race

The claws have come out in the 2010 Wisconsin Gubernatorial race. Some background for those out of state:

Democrat Jim Doyle is expected to seek a third term, but seperate surveys give him between a 48-60% dissaproval rate from state voters. Combine that with an approval rating that's floating between 34-43%, and, at least from a year's distance, you've got problems.

It certainly doesn't help when the state's biggest paper quotes a fellow Democrat at your party's state convention as saying:

Most of her fellow Democrats might disagree, but Jolynn Woehrer thinks Gov. Jim Doyle won’t run for re-election in 2010.

Woehrer, a Milwaukeean attending the Wisconsin Democratic Party’s state convention, praised Doyle. But she said "he’s a little bit more moderate" and that she senses more progressive leaders are emerging in the party.

"That’s what the voters want and that’s what we need," Woehrer said.

Make a note people. This may be the one and only time I ever defend Doyle, but the guys tax happy and about as party-line as a Democrat can get in the Midwest. Any attempt to replace him with a more 'progressive' (read: overtly socialist) candidate is just asking to give away the office.

Anyway, what's the first and last thing you do in politics when the numbers aren't going your way? You attack, preferably with a bitter ad that says nothing whatsover, but maligns your opponent. Check this ad out (paid for by the state Democratic party).

As BadgerBlogger pointed out, this cartoon (!) "seems to be aimed at 6-year-olds . . ." Looks like 2010 will be full of polite, good natured campaigns, eh?

Be Quiet!

Annoyed at the amount of noise coming from the street. It's 2am on a Monday morning - get in your car and go home already.

Pizza Hut with Smiley and Ginger

Smiley came home from school one day with a certificate for a free pizza from Pizza Hut, some kind of reward for reading. Odd that, as the boy can't read a lick. But, free food is free food, and one day when the older girls were out and about I took Smiley and Ginger to claim his prize.

Here's some pics from that day.











As an extra-special Bonus pic, here's one of Ginger goofing around with a Santa hat.

LuLu's K5 Graduation

This past week featured a big day for LuLu, the graduation ceremonies that moved her from the world of kindergarten into First Grade.



We got there just in the nick of time to see her class stroll onto the stage and begin a short musical program. Note that she was front and center for the songs.

Here's Lu performing "Oh What a Miracle Am I". What's neat is that it's a song from the Baby Songs DVD that she adored as a toddler.





This is "You've Got a Friend in Me" from Toy Story.



Here's a poem they recited about summer and first grade. "To First Grade we are Going . . . "



Finally, to the tune of "On Wisconsin!" it was "On to First Grade!"



Ginger was great during the whole thing



Then it was time for the diplomas. LuLu was one of the last to receive hers, and I thought I detected a note of worry in my girl :)











We took some photos after the ceremony, then enjoyed a table of baked goods.





I should note that YaYa left class to join us, but she somehow avoided the camera.





Congratulations LuLu! Enjoy your summer and get ready for the First Grade :)

Oopsie - A happy (Belated) Birthday to KayKay

Today my sister C jokingly said she was insulted that I hadn't posted a birthday greeting for my niece yesterday.

"You couldn't remember her birthday, but you remembered George Bush's?" she said.

Point taken, apologies offered, head hangs in shame.

Happy 13th Birthday KayKay!

"Emma Retts" a story by YaYa written 6-2-09

This story is cross-posted on YaYa's (private) blog The Monkey House. Any and all of her 'invited' readers, please comment on her site and click on 'follow', as she *does* pay attention to such things. Thanks!

* * * * *

Emma Retts
by [YaYa]

I looked up at the board we were learning the cursive letter "z" the last letter! My friend named Sofie said "did we learn th letter " y" ? " yet ? she said . Mr. Comma said yes we did Sofie . He said to start are page. Do we curve the "z" ? I asked. A boy named Nate whispered to me yeah Dumbo! I just stared [at] my work.

When I walked home with my friends, my mom said welcome home Emma! I said bye to my friends. I walked inside my mom made a cake . What for? I said to my mother. She said my cousin Gina just won being vice president. Who cares I thought?

mom and I got changed my brother was already there. why can't he just take us in his own car? Teens are just that way,if thy get caught with family they get embarrassed from girls. When is dad coming back? Is he still in China? I miss him ! why don't you cheek the mail,maybe there's a letter from dad. I went on the porch mom! there"s a letter from dad!

it says: dear Lisa,Dan, and Emma I won't be home till May. sorry, my store was poor for awhile then , it was filled ! love ,daddy

Happy 85th Birthday Mr. President!

Today, on his 85th birthday, George Herbert Walker Bush once again went skydiving. Kudos to the man, because I've always been too chicken to try it - and I'm not the one old enough to remember FDR's first term!

Happy Birthday Mr. President, and I hope I see you keep your vow of jumping again to celebrate your 90th.

In which I bit** and moan and groan

While I continue to work pretty steadily, the income just isn't cutting it, and there is very little in the way of good (financial) news in the foreseeable future.

* I got word the other day that I didn't land the job with the City. Not only would it have restored the income level of Job Prior, it would have increased it to the point of literally changing our lives. After a few months of wading through the civil service process it was no-go.

* I am registered to begin teacher certification with MPS in July, but that's income that's still months away at best.

* I put serious thought into managing a property up-North, which would have meant leaving the city (duh) and moving the family across the state. That's not something I could normally see myself doing, but there were pluses:

a) it was a job in my old field

b) the cost of living is cheaper there

c) in addition to a salary, it included a rent-free house and utilities.

I thought maybe we could rent our current house for enough $ to manage the mortgage from a distance. There's certainly enough people interested in taking up residence here, as now two friends AND a co-worker have asked about moving in.

But in the end, I can't see ourselves doing it, for a number of reasons I needn't go into here. Not that the job is mine for the taking, because I don't mean to give that impression.

* Physically, I'm exercising more and feel better, although my heel spur still aches. Lisa on the other hand is plagued by an abscessed tooth that is defying antibiotics and must be pulled - if/when we can ever get bleeping approval from the insurance company. I've been through major tooth pain, and I know it sucks. It bothers me to see her in so much pain.

* Mentally, eh. A few weeks ago, after LuLu threw up before each of her three dance recitals, my Dad innocently mentioned a tidbit about me. As a kid my anxiety was so bad that I'd throw up many mornings before school. He mentioned it to make LuLu feel better, but it just destroyed me for a few weeks. Truthfully, I'd damn near blocked out that memory.

I would say that had I been pressed, I would have remembered it. But not once, not ONCE in twenty odd years did it pop into my head. It seems so insignificant sitting here in 2009, but it brought back all kinds of dormant insecurities and anxieties. Given an inch, all those social issues tried their damnest to reassert themselves.

Ugh.

* * *

Anyway, enough belly-aching. My Dad's Big Bad Boss - at least, the one I remember from my childhood - passed away in California in the last few days.

He shared a last name with a character from The Honeymooners, and he was a major prick. Loud, obnoxious,oblivious to other people's feelings, and cheap. My Dad worked 3rd shift and he used to call and wake him up for the most inane of reasons, almost for the sheer pleasure of destroying his rest

I remember him yelling at me for playing Space Invaders in his lobby, and how he kept a lion he killed on safari on permanent display in the window. The latter was cool; the former just stupid. Why put the video game there if you don't want people playing it?

Decades later, when I was a manager in the same industry, I found out those memories weren't exaggerated by my youth. Top to bottom, everyone who'd encountered him echoed my sentiments. But you just know his obituary will be full of glowing, nostalgic anecdotes, because that's how the world works.

RIP regardless sir. If nothing else, you gave me something NOT to emulate.