In which I bit** and moan and groan

While I continue to work pretty steadily, the income just isn't cutting it, and there is very little in the way of good (financial) news in the foreseeable future.

* I got word the other day that I didn't land the job with the City. Not only would it have restored the income level of Job Prior, it would have increased it to the point of literally changing our lives. After a few months of wading through the civil service process it was no-go.

* I am registered to begin teacher certification with MPS in July, but that's income that's still months away at best.

* I put serious thought into managing a property up-North, which would have meant leaving the city (duh) and moving the family across the state. That's not something I could normally see myself doing, but there were pluses:

a) it was a job in my old field

b) the cost of living is cheaper there

c) in addition to a salary, it included a rent-free house and utilities.

I thought maybe we could rent our current house for enough $ to manage the mortgage from a distance. There's certainly enough people interested in taking up residence here, as now two friends AND a co-worker have asked about moving in.

But in the end, I can't see ourselves doing it, for a number of reasons I needn't go into here. Not that the job is mine for the taking, because I don't mean to give that impression.

* Physically, I'm exercising more and feel better, although my heel spur still aches. Lisa on the other hand is plagued by an abscessed tooth that is defying antibiotics and must be pulled - if/when we can ever get bleeping approval from the insurance company. I've been through major tooth pain, and I know it sucks. It bothers me to see her in so much pain.

* Mentally, eh. A few weeks ago, after LuLu threw up before each of her three dance recitals, my Dad innocently mentioned a tidbit about me. As a kid my anxiety was so bad that I'd throw up many mornings before school. He mentioned it to make LuLu feel better, but it just destroyed me for a few weeks. Truthfully, I'd damn near blocked out that memory.

I would say that had I been pressed, I would have remembered it. But not once, not ONCE in twenty odd years did it pop into my head. It seems so insignificant sitting here in 2009, but it brought back all kinds of dormant insecurities and anxieties. Given an inch, all those social issues tried their damnest to reassert themselves.

Ugh.

* * *

Anyway, enough belly-aching. My Dad's Big Bad Boss - at least, the one I remember from my childhood - passed away in California in the last few days.

He shared a last name with a character from The Honeymooners, and he was a major prick. Loud, obnoxious,oblivious to other people's feelings, and cheap. My Dad worked 3rd shift and he used to call and wake him up for the most inane of reasons, almost for the sheer pleasure of destroying his rest

I remember him yelling at me for playing Space Invaders in his lobby, and how he kept a lion he killed on safari on permanent display in the window. The latter was cool; the former just stupid. Why put the video game there if you don't want people playing it?

Decades later, when I was a manager in the same industry, I found out those memories weren't exaggerated by my youth. Top to bottom, everyone who'd encountered him echoed my sentiments. But you just know his obituary will be full of glowing, nostalgic anecdotes, because that's how the world works.

RIP regardless sir. If nothing else, you gave me something NOT to emulate.