27 Dresses

Let it be known (but never spoken of in mixed company) that I like romantic comedies.  I sought out Serendipity in the theater, I have yet to find a Hugh Grant movie I didn't enjoy, I adored 13 going on 30 and I even find the upcoming (and no doubt atrocious) Maid to Order, starring Patrick Dempsey as a male bridesmaid, an item of interest.

I hope that gives me enough metrosexual street cred for people to take notice when I say I really didn't care for 27 Dresses. I didn't hate it, but in the words of the Prophet Isiah, I didn't dig it either.

Katherine Heigl of Grey's Anatomy (aka Clone of Clarize Theron) stars as a 27 time bridesmaid who has a secret crush on her boss. She's the quiet doormat type and as she keeps silent about her feelings her younger sister swoops in, romances, and gets engaged to The Man of Her Dreams. 

Cue the *Real* Man of Her Dreams,  a professional writer assigned to*gasp!*  the wedding page of the local paper. Not just any wedding writer, no; he's also a great writer, a wordsmith that she adores in print. She clips out and keeps copies of his articles, believe it or not. Oh, and yeah, she just can't stand the guy in person.

And away we go. 

Ok, first beef: Not to rehash the 2004 election here, but there is a world that exists outside of New York City and Los Angeles. If our local paper has a wedding section at all it's nominal, and it certainly doesn't print feature length articles about society folk celebrating their fourth marriage. I'm willing to bet Topeka and Springfield and Tulsa probably don't have one either. Granted, that's a minor beef, but it immediately distanced the viewer from the events on screen.

Second: It was mystifyingly predictable. Midway through I turned to my wife and said "You know what will happen? A will lead to B which brings us to either D or F. If it's F then X and Y happen, but if it's D then W will lead to R. Guaranteed."

In fact I was wrong. A did lead to B, followed by F. But then they threw me for a loop - Y and then X took place. It was a complete shock!

Third: Hollywood's penchant for writing in the part of the 'unattractive but promiscuous best friend who is popular with men but hides her insecurities beneath a thin veneer of biting comments'. Congratulations Judy Greer, you have found your niche.

Fourth: their emotionally distant and utterly useless father got on my nerves.

Fifth: The inconsistent characters. This is one of my pet peeves. People can act against their nature, but there better be a reason for it. It doesn't happen in the blink of an eye. I probably won't  just wake up happy one morning, have breakfast and then decide to leave my wife and children, any more than Socialist would wake up, have breakfast, and suddenly decide he wanted to reverse his life course and have children after all. Both actions are against our natures as perceived by the public; if we're in a movie and act against them, the writer better have a damn good reason.

But in 27 Dresses the younger sister is introduced as a worldly, gorgeous, and sexually confident career woman who loves her family but rarely sees them.. Skip ahead a few scenes and she feels compelled to lie about nearly everything about herself because she thinks she can't 'get' a man otherwise. Then a few scenes later she is a complete and selfish bit*h  at the expense of her sister. She also, magically, loses about 100 IQ points from the first act to the second.

I just think that was sloppy work.

Now one big but here: my wife loved the movie. Usually we can agree at least in principle on most films, but at the same time I was writing it off in my head she was vocally addressing the characters on screen. After listening to this for awhile, and hearing her go 'oh no!' at one 'pivotal' scene, I turned to her. "Are you f*'ing with me, or are we watching completely different movies?"

To each his own I guess.

Again, it wasn't awful, just fodder for the discount rack at Blockbuster in a few months time. It could have been better, but I'll grant you the whole preposterous car crash-Bennie and the Jets sing-along-sex scene was a hoot.

I give the movie  2.5 out of 5. What did you think of it?