Smiley runs afoul of the law

Ok, when we took my nephew for his haircut there was a 45 minute wait list, and so we got back in the van and went shopping for a dehumidifier. Smiley was buckled into his booster seat in the 3rd row.

A few miles down the highway I looked into the rear view mirror and saw a flash of orange - his shirt color - streak past.

"What the hell? Smiley! You get back in your seat NOW!," I said. While not oblivious to the wrath he was going to incur, he was intent on finding whatever it was he'd lost in the van - probably a small bouncing ball he got out of a vending machine earlier.

"Smiley! NOW!" I said. Screw it. I hit the turn signal and headed for the nearest exit, with the little guy still tearing apart the second row of the van. As we were stopped at a red light on the off ramp I looked up into the mirror.

I guess that piece of shiny glass had it in for me. There was a sheriff's deputy right behind us. A moment later she hit the siren and pulled us over.

The deputy strolled over, asked for my license, and went over the obvious: she'd seen the boy bouncing around the car on the off ramp. In our increasingly intrusive society, the mere sight of anyone without a seat belt on is legal justification to pull you over, even without antother violation.

[And let's be honest - it's also a way for cops to pull you over on a whim, if they "think" they saw you without a belt.]

I explained that he *had* been buckled in when we got on the freeway, but that he'd taken it upon himself to unbuckle. Thinking it might do some good at home if the boy got a good scare in him, I told him he'd gotten us into trouble with the police.

"He didn't do anything wrong," said the Deputy. "You did. You're the adult, it's your responsibiltiy to make sure he remains in his seat."

Yeah. Sure. I'll get right on that, as I'm going down the expressway in rush hour traffic.

The price of the ticket? No points, but $206.

At that, I balked. Kindly, politely, calmly, but I balked. My story wasn't even a story, it was legit. After all, hadn't I drawn the deputy's attention by actively trying to get him back in his seat?

Wadaya know, the deputy seemed to debate this point, and asked to examine our car seats. Thank heavens I'd already dumped the bodies and had nothing to hide, so I said sure. Four car seats/boosters, neat and tidy. One point for me. She asked Smiley how old he was and he answered "four" but that was the last understanable statement out of his mouth. I'm no fan of his speech problems but the garbled answers seemed to lend credence to my tale of chaos.

The deputy went back to her jeep and we waited some more. When she returned there was a ticket, but not for $206. Instead of citing me for Smiley, she wrote me up as the offender. I was wearing my belt, but I didn't complain. A driver gets only a no point, $10 ticket. They much prefer if you endanger yourself instead of others.

"I've got two kids of my own, and the youngest makes as much trouble as yours," she said. "So I'm going to give you a break this time."

Thank you Deputy. I mean that. $200 might as well be $2000 right now.

Then she asked to speak to Smiley again, and laid into him with a lecture on listening and staying buckled. He seemed strangely unimpressed, almost blase, and I'm not sure how much sunk in.

Not that his troubles ended when we pulled back onto the road, no sirree. Mom and I had something to say about it, that's for sure.

* * * * *

Neat bit of trivia: We hadn't been to Sport Clips since last September, when I took the same two boys for a back-to-school trim. While Smiley and I waited today a very hot young receptionist came over to us. "Oh, he's sooo cute. I remember him. He has the speech problem right?"

Ten months go by, and the girl remembers him. That echoes tales we've all heard about the Little Man. Just the other day one of his teachers bumped into Lisa at a store. She said that a staff member from his summer school location had made a special point to tell her all about this adorable little boy she taught for the summer - Smiley.

Play on playa, play on.