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Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Wrapping up Yesterday

After I posted yesterday I went over to the DMV, where I was very disappointed that I didn't get to read more of the Joe Hill book I'd started. There was a line out to the door and I was still in and out (with new registration tags and an updated driver's license) in less than ten minutes. WTF? What's the world coming to if you can't depend on the DMV to provide fodder for your blog?

[sidenote: I was sad about renewing that license tho'. With a eight-year expiration I'm pretty sure the picture on the front will be the last one to bear witness to my hair. {sob]

I was out so quickly that I headed to the hospital to visit my Mom before taking Smiley to school. I was stymied at the information desk when I was informed my Mom was not, nor had ever been, a patient.

Fortunately I was taken aside by someone I knew and slipped her room number, with a stern warning not to divulge where I'd gotten the information. She had been listed as 'Jane Doe' for security reasons - what security reasons I can't fathom, lest she's been slipping cookie recipies to Al Queda - but no one was supposed to know she was there. (Yeah, that suprised my Mom too)

Anyhow, she looked awful. As I walked in she was asleep with her head to one side and her mouth open. Her arms were bruised and her legs heavily bandaged. She told me the story I'd heard yesterday was very nearly accurate. She had been told of having an 'e factor' after my sister's birth and warned to divulge the information whenever she needed a blood transfusion.

"I carried the little card with me for twenty years before I threw it out," she said. "I figured, I hadn't needed it this long . . "

By the time I saw her the transfusion had taken place already, two pints of 'blood or whatever', and scans of her legs had revealed no clots, which was certainly good news.

Her speech was very  slurred and incomprehensible at times. She had no explanation for it but told me the doctor was sending her home that evening. I couldn't believe it. I'm not a doctor but she looked and sounded awful. I told her she must be mistaken.

* * *

After saying goodbye I hurried home in time to take Smiley to school via bike, just to show the morning's disaster hadn't dampened my resolve. It was again eezy-peezy, but I had the misfortune of talking to his classmate's Mom, who (naturally) bikes her kid in via a twelve mile roundtrip each day.

"You got tired after only a mile? How odd," she said. I think she was honestly oblivious to the lack of tact involved in saying this to a 300 pound man, so I don't hold any anger towards her.

[I will say however, that a  pre-Rennasaince era Danny might, conceivably, have looked at this unnattractive woman and  thought something like "If I biked twelve miles every day I'd look a hell of a lot better than you do now sister"

But this is a new era, and so a thought like that never crossed my mind. Not once.]

In the evening the kids had dance and in their absence I took Lump on a ride too, although I concede this was nothing but showing off to my readers. While I was wrapping up my Dad called to say his car had died taking my Mom home from the hospital, so I drove out to pick them up.

While in the car my Mom told me a story about dreaming of a bright tunnel with a peaceful white light at the end.

Malarky.

"Ma, I've known you for thirty years. With that mouth of yours there's not gonna be any 'white light'. The best you can hope for is to avoid a red glow and pray  for puragatory," I said.

She laughed. "Your [paternal] Grandma used to tell me the only way she'd get into heaven was if Grandpa Mike died first and held the ladder for her. She used to say that to me all the time. Remember Eddie?"

"Yeah, but it didn't work out that way, did it?" my Dad said, being a buzzkill and referencing my Grandma's early demise.

Anyhow, that was it for the day. A busy day, and productive.

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Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Fantasy Football Week Two (NFL Week 3): Slapjacks Win!

Well I finally got a win in my fantasy football league, making me 1-1 on the season, but I still didn't crack the century mark in weekly points. My overall lack of points means I place seventh in the league standings. I have to pick up the pace if I want to be in the running for a playoff berth.

SlapJacks 1-1-0
    
Points
Pos
Player
Opp
Status
Projected
Actual
QB
(NYG - QB)
CinW, 26-2314.1814.63
WR
(Cle - WR)
@BalL, 28-1011.492.70
WR
(Pit - WR)
@PhiL, 15-612.043.40
WR
(Was - WR)
AriW, 24-179.2115.50
RB
(Cle - RB)
@BalL, 28-109.277.70
RB
(Jac - RB)
@IndW, 23-218.5413.00
TE
(Ten - TE)
HouW, 31-124.592.60
K
(GB - K)
DalL, 27-168.6010.00
DEF
(Sea - DEF)
StLW, 37-1318.0915.50
Total   96.0185.03
    
Points
Pos
Player
Opp
Status
Projected
Actual
QB
(Car - QB)
@MinL, 20-1011.862.37
WR
(NE - WR)
MiaL, 38-1311.102.50
WR
(Pit - WR)
@PhiL, 15-69.513.20
WR
(NYJ - WR)
@SDL, 48-297.767.60
RB
(Ind - RB)
JacL, 23-2116.9324.80
RB
(Car - RB)
@MinL, 20-104.869.50
TE
(Den - TE)
NOW, 34-328.571.20
K
(Ten - K)
HouW, 31-129.478.00
DEF
(GB - DEF)
DalL, 27-1613.4410.50
Total   93.5069.67
 
I continue to worry about the lack of production in Cleveland. That's gonna be a problem for me as the year wears on.
 
Next week Seattle is on bye so San Diego resumes defensive duties for me. I also realized *both* Manning brothers are on bye in Week Four  (what the heck, do the Mannings have a barmitzva that weekend or what?) so I dropped Adrian Peterson (Chi - RB) and picked up Tampa's Brian Griese. TB plays Green Bay next week but with Al Harris out with a ruptured spleen the Pack's secondary should be ripe for exploitation.
 
Or not.
 
It's not like I'll be rooting against the Pack. I'm hoping for 200 yards, a TD and a pick out of Griese, nothing more.
 
Oh, by the way a big thank you to Chicago's defense for coughing up the game to Tampa Bay on Sunday. Pinning them down at their own goal and then granting them an automatic first down via a personal foul? Priceless. I knew Green Bay would probably fall to Dallas and the Chicago loss kept us firmly in first place in the NFC North. I was as cheerful as a electrolysis tech when Bea Arthur walks in the door.
 
Now on to Week Four . . .

On overdoing a bike trip and an update on my Mom

First things first. Yesterday I decided to use my bike to pick up Smiley from school. It's only a mile or so away (if that) and was an easy-peezy ride with the litle guy. Because of that success I nursed the idea of taking both LuLu and YaYa to their school [~ 2 to 3 miles away] via the bike trailer, and at 7:35 this morning I pulled the trigger and loaded 'em up.

Big booboo. Together they weigh 80 pounds, not Smiley's thirty-nine, and those extra forty pounds makes quite a difference. There also seems to be a dramatic discrepancy between the hills  I remembered being between here and the school and the number that actually exist. It was like freaking San Francisco out there.

On three different inclines I had to ask the girls to get out and walk while I caught my breath. I got them to school five minutes late and was holding back from heaving my breakfast. Not a ringing endorsement for the activity, to say the least.

Both girlsseemed thrilled with the novelty of it and were happy, but I felt like shooting myself. Not out of depression or disappointment - just to put myself out of my misery.

It took me 25 minutes to get there and a scant 10 to return.

Will I do it again? I think so, but it'll probably wait until next year when (hopefully) I'll be in better shape.

* * * *

My Mom is still in the hospital and not yet on the upswing. I'm told she'll need a stent (?) in her leg and a blood transfusion, but some antibodies in her blood, present since a difficult pregnancy with my sister C, precludes most donors. It's very confusing to me and so far I'm hearing it only second or third hand.For all I know she's A-OK and milking it for the free applesauce in the cafeteria, God willing.

I'm going to try and stop and see her sometime today to get the scoop and wish her well.


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New Kids 'The Block' debuts at #1 on Pop Charts, #2 Overall

Eleven more days until we see NKOTB in Chicago, one of two New Kids concerts we have on tap  for October!

My friend Tre called me up the other day.

"Guess what I found for you when I was cleaning out my Mom's house," he said.

"What?"

"Oh, well it's maybe 12x12 and it's got a picture of five guys from Boston on the front, and let's see . . the round thing inside says, um, 'Hangin' Tough'." he said and laughed.

I darn near squealed, despite the fact I was at work.

"A New Kids LP? For real? Why the hell would your Mom have that?" I asked.

"Who knows man. I take it you want it?" he asked.

"Uh . .duh!" I said.

* * * *

This next bit is for Lisa, who was wondering about the record sales of The Block. I imagine it's a bit dicer to track than in 1988, given the emergence of digital tunes. But they seem to have done well across the board:

NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK
THE BLOCK
DEBUTS AS #1 POP ALBUM

THEIR FIRST NEW MUSIC IN ALMOST 15 YEARS DEBUTS AT #2 OVERALL
ON BILLBOARD TOP 200

(New York, NY) – Pop supergroup, New Kids on the Block, make their comeback debut as the #1 Pop Album in the country with The Block, their first album together in almost 15 years. Joey McIntyre, Donnie Wahlberg, Danny Wood and Jordan and Jonathan Knight, who as a group have sold over 80 million albums worldwide, are now back at the top of Billboard’s coveted Top 200 Chart at #2 overall.

After huge performances on “The Today Show” and “The View” and rave reviews from People Magazine and the LA Times, the group officially secured their place at the Top of Pop with their remarkable ranks as #1 Pop Album and #2 Album overall.

The reunion of all five members of the famed 90s group continues to ignite fan frenzies nationwide. Loyal fans turned up in droves from all over to follow the group across the country on their album promo tour. The group was enthusiastically embraced by large crowds of screaming fans at all performances, interviews and signings. Throngs of fans in Boston lined up for nearly three days, braving harsh weather, just to see the guys for their hometown signing. A phenomenal fan base has always been one of the cornerstones of the group’s success.

The Deluxe Edition of the album holds the #1 spot on iTunes Album Pop Charts and #5 on the iTunes overall chart with their new single, “Single” featuring Ne-Yo already jumping into the top forty on the iTunes Pop Singles Chart. “Single” officially debuted at #140 on Billboard Singles Chart with a 114% sales increase from last week. The group’s first single, the hit mellow jam “Summertime,” is a top 20 single that has sold over half a million copies.The New Kids on the Block Greatest Hits album saw a 100% increase in sales this week, making BOTH New Kids albums Top 30 albums.

That info is  a week old and located on NKOTB.com's 'news' page. I'll try to find more current sales info as the week progresses.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Art School Confidential

                         

Art School Confidential is the story of Jerome Platz, who from a young age has aimed to become a world famous artist. He has the talent to make his dream a reality. The trouble is, his prestigious art school is oblivious to it, preferring the meaningless drivel of 'tortured souls' to his own work. But on campus there lies a serial killer, and in the killer's wake may come the opportunity Jerome has waited for his whole life.

Art School Confidential is a blatant swipe at the world of art., and it trots out cliches and stereotypes in droves to continuously remind us of of the fact. There is the bisexual talentless teacher who can paint nothing but triangles but considers each a masterpiece; the viscously butch and angry lesbians, the detached hippy, the 'Empty Nest-er' who returns to school, the talentless hack who is idolized by everyone - the list goes on.

It's not a bad film at all for 80% of its length, although the serial killer angle is introduced early and awkwardly. [Watching the film you get the notion that it could be explained away as a stray plotline from a movie playing  two blocks over.]

There's talent to spare here. Angelica Huston, Steve Buscemi, and John Malkovich do a wonderful job of bringing this dysfunctional art school to life (esp. Malkovich - the man has a gift, he does he does).

Sophia Myles, who plays Jerome's love interest, is a stunning woman who looks rather like Kate Winslet. Her performance is fine but the writers fail her. His attraction to her is his motivation, sure, but what is her attraction to him? She is infinitely more experienced, articulate, and mature than Jerome and seems to place no special emphasis or interest in his naivete, his looks, or his art. What gives?

Again, an entertaining film for 80% of its length. Scratch that, for 95% of its run time. Only at the very end, when Jermome gets his wish, do all the movie's flaws come scratching and clawing to the surface in a mad rush.

2.5 out of 4, 68 out of 100.

Mr. Clean meets the Mrs.

Last week I attended an annual trade show out in New Berlin. As a courtesy the show's sponsor (a supplier of mine) extended an invitation for my wife to attend.

It was the same old, same old - not that I don't enjoy it all. Tables and booths of different products and vendors, free trial sized samples of items, and a pretty darn good meal at the end of the venue.

Proctor & Gamble was there touting their commercial cleaning products and they brought along the heavy artillery - namely, Mr. Clean himself. Lisa posed for a picture with him, as you can see above.

A good time for both of us, and it was nice to show off the Mrs. to their sales rep, who's a pretty nice guy himself.

Goodnight Yankee Stadium, and Goodbye

It ain't over til it's over . . .and now it is.

Last night I watched part of the final Yankee game to ever be played at the great Yankee Stadium. Ruth's 92 year old daughter threw out the first pitch, all the Yankee greats were there, and the original 1922 Championship banner flew in the outfield.

It is/was the Cathedral of Baseball. The two pretenders to the throne (Fenway and Wrigley) have the charm that the current 'mod-retro' style emphasizes, but as Derk Jeter said last night, it's not about the building. It's about the memories.

In it's 85 years of existence it's given the world Babe Ruth, Joe Dimaggio, Mickey Mantle, Reggie Jackson, Derek Jeter and a record 26 World Championships. Hate the Yankees all you want, but take those memories away and you take away the heart and soul of the game we love.

I'll admit to a sense of sadness as the last out was recorded. Then, after a few minutes of nostalgic celebration on the field, which included the sight of multi-millionaire players scooping dirt into their pockets as mementos, Derek Jeter took the microphone on the mound.

"For all of us up here, it's a huge honor to put this uniform on every day and come out here and play," he said. "And every member of this organization, past and present, has been calling this place home for 85 years. There's a lot of tradition, a lot of history, and a lot of memories. Now the great thing about memories is you're able to pass it along from generation to generation. And although things are going to change next year, we're going to move across the street, there are a few things with the New York Yankees that never change -- it's pride, it's tradition, and most of all, we have the greatest fans in the world.

"We're relying on you to take the memories from thisstadium and add them to the new memories that come to the new Yankee Stadium, and continue to pass them on from generation to generation. On behalf of this entire organization, we want to take this moment to salute you, the greatest fans in the world."

And then as a group the New York Yankee players doffed their caps to the crowd in salute and circled the ballpark, giving their fans a much deserved 'thank-you'. It was very moving.

"Are you crying?" Lisa asked me.

"A little," I said, dabbing at both my eyes.

"You're allowed to cry. I understand how you feel," she said. smiling. "But you didn't cry at our wedding, you didn't cry at your children's births. Hell, you didn't cry when your only son was born. But I've seen you cry a half-dozen times over baseball. It's crazy."

"That's different," I said. "This is baseball. This is important."

At 4 a.m. Yankee staff was still on the field, playing catch, drinking beer, and saying goodbye to the stadium.

In the background a picture of a winking Babe Ruth was on the Jumbotron  with the words "See you across the street!" advertising a new era.

May it be as successful as the first.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

On bikes and hospitals and sassy little kids

Today was the first day in quite awhile I've been on my bike. It was out of action for a few days because of heavy rain and when I brought it back out of the Wacky Shack I found I'd ruined the back tire by running over some glass. Cue a  stay at the bike shop, where as Dork among Dorks I also bought a nifty collapsible basket :)

Anyway, I had a nice 20 minute ride with YaYa. We even stopped and shagged balls at a local baseball practice along the way. The bike shop adjusted my seat so high I no longer have to wonder what a colonostomy feels like, but it was a godsend to finally get some exercise into my schedule.

You see, yesterday night my Mom was taken by ambulance to the hospital, where she was admitted with blood pressure of 180 over ?, a 102 degree temp, and badly swollen legs that were leaking water.

I love the woman dearly, but if you don't decide to just get up and move God's gonna make your decision permanent. Her hospitalization, which may turn into yet another stay at an extended care facility,was another little 'push' to keep up my diet and exercise plan.

That plan has only been 40% on schedule the last week or so, thanks to that Olive Garden trip. I can safely ignore temptation, so long as I'm not given a taste.  No 'one drag of a cigarette' or 'just a slice of pizza' or 'only an hour with the transvestite' - no, for me that way leads to the Dark Side.

So for the foreseeable future it's ixnay on the Italian food, that's for sure.

* * * *

Quote of the Day, and coincidentally on the subject:

Completely in jest as we horsed around outside.

Me: You be quiet you Punky Brewster or I'll break ya in two!

LuLu (laughing): No you won't! I have bones!

Me: I can do it. I'm strong!

LuLu: [snickered] How? You barely even work out!


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Thursday, September 18, 2008

Wanted: Tickets to the (Iowa) Winter Dance Party Feb '09


I've written about it here before. Since 1987 I've wanted to spend the 50th anniversary of Buddy Holly's death in Clear Lake, Iowa, the site of his fatal plane crash. Don't ask me why a 13 year old kid thought like that, but I did.

I went to buy tickets to the events as early as last year, and time and again was told nothing was set in stone yet. I checked the website for the Surf Ballroom, the host of the event, over and over. Nothing. I skip a few weeks, go back to check yesterday, and boom! the 50th Winter Dance Party was online.

And sold out.

I called the Ballroom today and found out there is a seperate event for that night, and I was placed on the notification list for that. I called the Chamber of Commerce, and they stated the only Buddy Holly events would be at the Surf.

So I'm probably screwed.

I've already hit Ebay and I've posted on Craigslist in Iowa, BUT . . if anyone in JLand lives in Iowa and has a spare ticket, or works in the music business, knows the owner of the Surf or whatever, PLEASE PLEASE let me know.

Backup plan: Lisa and I will go to the Tommy Allsup (sp?) concert at  Milwaukee's Eagle Ballroom on Jan 23rd. That'll be the 50th anniversary of a Buddy Holly concert on that very stage. [Tommy was in Buddy's band on that fateful tour.]

Then I'm thinking we could still, maybe, head out to Iowa and tour the Surf, which is considered a museum of rock 'n roll. Then in the cold of night we could mark the annivesary by making our way to the cornfield outside of town where the plane crashed..

I"m keeping my fingers crossed.


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The Wacky Shack

I may not have taken money for hosting my sisters kids, but that doesn't mean the buggers got away scott free. I made 'em work by golly.

My shed had stood 3/4ths done for nearly a year. This failure prevented me from storing bikes/tools/mowers in it, items which by default wound up on my cellar steps. That blocked me from using those steps, which meant I couldn't move my Mom's freezer into my basement or move some items out to make room for it . .

It was all such a vicious cycle.

So for whatever reason I chose Saturday the 6th to hammer away at the project. With the help of my nephew I created two wooden doors for the shed and installed a lock. The doors were mildly Polish in construction but met the need. (hey hey - I'm 100% Polish. I'm allowed to jest)

That was an enormous task for the handiness challenged yours truly, but with fire in my belly I pressed on. We papered the roof of the shed and began to shingle it. I had never shingled a roof before, nor ever seen it done. Suprisingly, I think we did it right.

[one manly point in my favor: my nephew had constant problems hammering in the roofing nails. I'd look on with distaste, sigh, and then hammer them home in one smooth stroke. I guarantee you I've never been able to do that before, so nice timing God.]

Lu actually helped out quite a bit by handing up shingles. The little munchkin could manage to haul two or three at a time, which was quite impressive given their weight.

Meanwhile YaYa just hung around

(sorry for the hip-hop look in the above photo)

Danged if we didn't finish the shed, once and for all. This was, oh man, this was the Slapinions equivalent of someone finally finishing the Crazy Horse sculpture in South Dakota. It was THAT monumental to me.

Well, we weren't quite finished. The next day we primed and painted it.

* * *

Going back to the 6th for a second. It was a *great* day. Not only because of the shed, but because I finalized a huge account that day. It began with a call, out of the blue, from a competitor who could no longer satisfy a client and wanted to toss the business our way. At  first she was hesitant to go with our price, but I called her back and made sure she knew I recognized the grandness of the favor and would repay it down the road. In other words, I was in her debt. 

So she put the word in for us and the clients rep came to meet with me. I toured with him and he seemed satisfied, but then he asked me for X and Y and Z . I was disheartened but answered honestly. Logistically and finanically I just couldn't meet his demands. I braced for the worst.

But whatdaya know, he liked that. Part of the reason they were jumping ship was that they'd been promised the moon and been let down. He said he prefered to hear a 'no' then to deal with that situation again. That was Thursday.

Midway through the shed project on Saturday my cellphone rang. We gotthe account!

It's a day in/day out struggle to keep a customer happy, especially one with as many personnel as this guy, and we're still ironing out the bumps. But if their business in Milwaukee remains constant and they continue to frequent us the account will be on pace to bring in revenue in the mid six figures by years end. I wouldn't bet the house on that happening, but it stands out there as a glorious opportunity on the horizon.

Knock on some serious wood.

I don't work on commision, so I won't see a dime. But those numbers mean I might be able to avoid pulling the trigger on the annual layoffs that seemed inevitable just a few weeks ago (or at least the worst of them).

So to celebrate I took the family - all nine of us at that point - out to Olive Garden the following weekend. The-single-most-expensive-dinner-of-my-life, thanks in part to my foolish 'get whatever you want!' comment to a growing 14 year old boy.

Ah, it was worth it. It's nice to have something to celebrate once in awhile. :)

LuLu's speech evaluation which, oddly, becomes a chance to brag about her :)

For some time Lisa has been trying  to get LuLu into a speech therapy program with MPS (Milwaukee Public Schools). Last week we finally had a one on one evaluation at a local school. Because we couldn't find a sitter for Lump or Smiley I took LuLu to the appointment.

I'm sure the tests were no different than any other speech test given to a five year old. Her hearing tested fine, and she did a heck of a job identifying and vocalizing every object in a shoebox of junk they handed her. She had trouble with the word 'string', pronouncing it 'sta-wing', and some issues with 's' and 'r' but otherwise held her own.

Good news/bad news: from a preliminary opinion the instructor didn't think she needed speech therapy and said she'd outgrow her problems. There's a strong history of speech problems from both sides of the family (and of course Smiley can't talk) so maybe we're just hypersensitive on the subject, but I disagreed.

If it's enough so that an adult has difficulty understanding her, or a kid makes fun of her for it, then it's bad enough to spend an hour or two a week fixing it. We'll know one way or the other midway through October.

From the certainly good news department: LuLu, who is 5 years 3 months old tested at a comprehension level of 6 years, 8 months with a vocabulary of a 6 year old. The teacher said she was the first five year old to correctly ID all the items in that box and in the pictures presented to her; at times her answers were too specific and had to be scaled back so she would verbalize the general word they were looking to hear.

Neat.


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Smiley's first day of school and my nephew's too!

September 2nd was the first day of school for Smiley. It was also the first day of high school for my nephew. As you know, the kids were at my house that week so I took him to school. Yeah, he was nervous, but he seems to have adjusted well.

Wow, these kids look thrilled don't they?

Shall we try again?

Ah, the moody YaYa. Third times the charm?

Eh, better. Here's my nephew on that monumental first day of high shool. He ditched the bandana before I dropped him off.

And finally, here's the handsome and debonair Smiley on the first day of his second year of school (K3):


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Tuesday, September 16, 2008

The Gravestone of Franciszek Maczynski

Confession time: for years now I have been bothered by something I did on behalf of my Grandma and it's time to come clean.

Round about the turn of this century my Grandma became convinced that the gravestone of her brother would be stolen and sold for scrap. This was a  large metal cross that marked the grave of her six year old brother who'd passed in 1913, a full ten years before her birth. I'd gone with my Grandpa to paint and maintain it once upon a time and was very familiar with it.

There had been reports at the time of vandals hitting local cemeteries, but the more I talked to her the more I became convinced that this was largely a product of the paranoia that sometimes comes with age. [and possibly a result of the whispered suggestions of meddling family members.]

But it was upsetting her greatly, and she began to ask me to remove the marker before it came to harm. I refused, and refused, and refused. Finally one day a family member said my Grandma had told the cemetery she'd be replacing it with a common granite marker. I was again asked to remove it, and this time I agreed.

So in the middle of the day, in broad daylight, I attacked the cement anchor of the tombstone with a shovel and then pulled it out of the ground by myself. Looking back, I don't know how I managed. It was very heavy and still partially attached to the cement base. I was able to get it back to my car only with great difficulty.

Let me reiterate: everything was on the up and up. I'd been asked to remove it by one of the sole remaining relatives, allegedly with the approval of the cemetery office. The trouble is I didn't believe it. I was sure that my Grandma, all her wishes aside, was confused and had not/would not have been able to organize that effort. She was never senile, but she did have moments of time and areas of interest that were dominated by confusion and memory lapses.

It is a failing of my character that I did not have the stamina to brave the woman's tears and investigate her request.

Aside from that I am superstitious, and for years now whenever I drive by that cemetery I felt creeped out and wouldoften be filled with regret. Ok, let's be honest. Laugh if you will, but I've always felt it was a mark against my soul.

So when the family moved last month I came across the tombstone in the garage and my heart sank. An omen, to be sure. I could not let it slide any longer. I stopped helping my parents and with the help of my nephew loaded it into my car. [my memory of its weight was accurate. It was a bear.]

The cemetery office was closed that late on a Sunday. So my nephew and I carried it through the empty chill of the mausoleum and left it outside the office door with a note and my phone number.

It's now midway through the month so I called the office myself to see if it had been reinstalled. The office manager got on the phone and wasn't happy. Not for the reason you're thinking, however. No, she was annoyed that we'd returned it at all.

She clearly remembered speaking with my Grandma about removing the cross and (unofficially) agreed with her assessment of the risk if it had remained in the ground. To deter scrap metal collectors the cemetery had enacted a no-metal tombstone rule and her brother's grave was one of the few grandfathered markers that had survived.Of those remaining it was one of or the largest and well maintained - a perfect target. In fact I learned from the cemetary that the marker had been shipped in from Poland by my family and was deemed irreplaceable by the office.

{Time after time I find evidence that my Great-Grandparents appear better off financially then the generations that followed, despite being first generation Americans}

And so a tremendous burden was lifted, seemingly miraculously, in just a few minutes on the phone.

But by returning it we put her in a bind. It could not be put back, because by officially removing it it voided the grandfather-clause. And I was right about one thing. My Grandmother had either never made plans for a new marker or at least never followed through with a purchase. The grave has gone unmarked for the better part of a decade.

I asked about the price of a new marker, still feeling like I owed the kid a debt. If it could be classified as a child's grave, ~$550. But my great-grandparents had also pulled out all the stops to have him buried in the adult section of the cemetery, where the markers were more elaborate and better maintained. Thus the cheapest marker could be as high as ~$700. Again, it all depends on how the site would be re-classified.

If I go ahead with a new marker I'd obviously pass the hat around the family. It might be hard, given that he died 95 years ago and outside of his sole remaining sibling (now in his 90's and in a nursing home) few people have an emotional stake in the matter.

But like Lisa said when I told her later in the evening "We have to get a stone. It's not right to leave family in an unmarked grave." In the meantime the cemetary agreed to temporarily put a simple wooden cross on the gravesite.

Maybe by the spring this matter will - no pun intended - be put to rest once and for all.

Hit and Run by Lawrence Block - A review

                           

Lawrence Block's Hit and Run is the latest - and possibly final - work involving resident hitman and stamp collector John Keller. In his latest adventure Keller is lured west to complete a 'job' but told to cool his heels and wait for the go-ahead. When a prominent African-American politician is assassinated  it becomes clear Keller is the designated patsy. He hits the road in an effort to stay ahead of the law and even the score with the men who framed him.

If you go into this thinking it will be gloom and gore, ala Tarantino, think again. Block can do dark and heavy (the great Eight Million Ways to Die being an example) but at heart Block is a easygoing writer with more than a dash of humor and wit. Hit and Run is a brisk, easy read with a lighthearted air. Sure, Keller and company occasionally have to murder the odd gas station attendant or Jehovah's Witness, but that doesn't mean they can't have fun too.

I will say that the midpoint of the second act, when Keller finds love, seemed forced and rather predicable in the 'damsel in distress' mode. Other than that, and a relentless stream of trivia about stamps, I have no complaints. 

Will Keller be back? The end of this novel seems to shout 'no', but you never know.

If nothing else, there's always room for a prequel, right?

3.25 out of 5, 80 out of 100 

Fantasy Football - NFL Week 2

This was the first week of our fantasy football league, week one having passed us by because of the Thursday night game that preceded our draft.

I started Eli Manning over his brother, not fully believing Peyton had shaken off all the cobwebs. Good call that one. Not so my choice to start the San Diego defense, may their incompetent souls rot in hades.

Santana Moss gave me the only 'great' performance of the week and I needed it to even make the game a close one, since my running backs seemed to sleep through most of Sunday.

Going into the Monday night game I had a twelve point lead but my opponent, The Juicy Beavers, had Dallas' D on their active roster. [note: you'll note a trend among the names of many of the fantasy teams I play against. Don't blame me folks, I didn't pick 'em.]

I watched the Monday night game and did a victory dance once Philly passed 35 points. Our league uses negative points, and if a defense gives up that magic 35, see ya - automatic ten point deduction. The game was mine!

Except this morning I found out I lost by .23 points. Point two three points. At eight in the morning I called the Socialist, aka the Commish, to good naturedly(sp?) complain that I was slighted. No way, no way did the Dallas D rack up 12 points. They had only five sacks (1.5 points) a fumble recovery (three points) and one special teams TD (8 points). Subtract ten from that and you don't score twelve points, I know that much.

Twelve hours later he called me back. He had been confused too and questioned the total. It turns out a D is *not* penalized for any points scored directly off of turnovers. It makes a certain amount of sense, since the D isn't on the field to stop a safety from running in an interception, but it's still horse hockey. 

Sweet niblets, what does a man have to do to earn a win in this league?

Answer: I could try breaking the century  mark. That'd help. LOL.

Score Summary
SlapJacks97.97
Juicy Beavers98.20
 
     SlapJacks 0-1-0

        
    Points
    Pos
    Player
    Opp
    Status
    Projected
    Actual
    QB
    (NYG - QB)
    @StLW, 41-1314.2623.67
    WR
    (Cle - WR)
    PitL, 10-612.183.20
    WR
    (Pit - WR)
    @CleW, 10-612.9013.90
    WR
    (Was - WR)
    NOW, 29-248.5729.10
    RB
    (Cle - RB)
    PitL, 10-612.456.60
    RB
    (Jac - RB)
    BufL, 20-1612.345.40
    TE
    (Ten - TE)
    @CinW, 24-74.691.60
    K
    (GB - K)
    @DetW, 48-258.8712.00
    DEF
    (SD - DEF)
    @DenL, 39-3810.852.50
    Total   97.1197.97
        
    Points
    Pos
    Player
    Opp
    Status
    Projected
    Actual
    QB
    (NO - QB)
    @WasL, 29-2414.729.10
    WR
    (Ind - WR)
    @MinW, 18-1512.4417.30
    WR
    (Den - WR)
    SDW, 39-3810.9626.60
    WR
    (Atl - WR)
    @TBL, 24-98.466.10
    RB
    (SD - RB)
    @DenL, 39-3817.184.00
    RB
    (Ten - RB)
    @CinW, 24-712.3812.10
    TE
    (Phi - TE)
    @DalL, 41-375.961.00
    K
    (Den - K)
    SDW, 39-387.8310.00
    DEF
    (Dal - DEF)
    PhiW, 41-3713.4012.00
    Total   103.3398.20