On how my kids are far from perfect and why my evening was awful

My Mom, of all people, occasionally criticizes me by saying I want my family life to be perfect and that I'm prone to expecting - demanding - it at every turn.

Frankly, that's an empty and annoying accusation because I've never claimed perfection. I am happy with my wife, I am happy with my kids, and not a day goes by where I do not count my blessings.

That's not perfection, that's being damn lucky.

But yes, of course there are moments/hours/days (hell, weeks) when all hell breaks loose and I'm full of frustration and anger and every other emotion in the dictionary.

Take tonight as a prime example. My wife had gone out for the evening and it was my job to put the kids to bed before watching Lost. Let me preface this by saying that it is usually my job to put them to bed; I am no rookie, I am not a pushover at bedtime, and normally the process is 1-2-3.

Anyway, the kids had been prepped for days about the importance of this show to me. They'd noted my excitement, they'd asked questions about the show's premise and they dressed quickly and peacefully for bed. I didn't even care if they went to sleep, since Friday they have no school, but I did want silence and for them to stay in their rooms (not that I was dumb enough to tell them that and open the floodgates)

Either way it was two plus hours of hell. This is what a typical minute of that time was like:

* YaYa, with that evil sparkle in her eyes, claiming innocence and victimhood and declaring - with a straight face and calm pulse no less - that the other kids were interrupting her attempts to sleep.

* LuLu, ever the tattle-tale of the trio, reporting every slight, large and small, and crying because a) her cheerleader doll had 'ugly' bangs b) her cheerleader doll was dirty c) she wanted her cheerleaders audio shut off d) the blanket was the wrong one e) YaYa took the good spot f) Smiley was annoying her

* Smiley, the devil fully at work in his two year old body, running back and forth upstairs so hard that the chandelier shook in the dining room and just plain wiping out the entire second floor by throwing the contents of drawers and closets willy-nilly. It will take an hour to put it back together tomorrow.

No threat, no punishment, no coercion could stop the madness. It went on and on and on for the length of the show and more . . it is truly a miracle that I managed to choke it down and not lose my cool completely.

The most horrifying part is that they dang near killed Smiley. The girls were sick of him tossing things at them soYaYa tied a jump rope to a doorknob and the other end AROUND HIS NECK as a 'doggy leash'. It was nothing short of parental instinct that caused me to respond to his cries, since they were no more or less urgent than any of the other thousand noises from upstairs.

I went up to find him straining with all his might to extend the reach of the rope - and tightening it around his neck with every step.

My Lord!

The kicker: the baby, the dreaded and disliked resident of this house during her recent attempts to cut her teeth, was quiet and peaceful the whole time.

But, lest you think that 'perfection' escaped Nostalgic Avenue completely this evening  . . the girls came downstairs together and, very sincere, presented me a present (a tissue box with wrapping paper inside and a ribbon around it) and said "We're sorry for ruining your show Daddy". Then they hugged me, went upstairs, and for the last hour it's been a calm and relaxed household.

Take that, naysayers.

Of course, then I realized the tissue box had been full a few hours before . . .

Tags: LuLu, Lost, Smiley, YaYa, Baby

The Tet Offensive - 40 years later

Forty years ago today, following on the heels of premature attacks the day before, the infamous Tet Offensive began with co-coordinated strikes across South Vietnam.

From a military standpoint it was a blessing in disguise for the South, as in hindsight both sides agree the attack was a military disaster for the Communists.

It inspired no general uprising against Saigon - on the contrary, it inspired a wave of anti-VC sentiment. It did not lead to the disintegration of the ARVN (South Vietnamese forces); they fought some of their most successful actions during Tet. Casualties were high, virtually eliminating the Viet Cong as a military force and morphing the action from a perceived civil war into a blatant inter-nation conflict as the North was forced to assume the brunt of combat duties.

Of course, the perception was that the North was alarmingly successful, and in all things perception is 80% of the battle. The media and the American public came to the conclusion the war was a quagmire and, right or wrong, that victory was not possible.

It was the beginning of the end, for both American involvement and the nation of South Vietnam.

My father was there with the Air Force, stationed at Phu Cat airbase. From my understanding he arrived in-country not long before the attack and spent the majority of the next few weeks helping supply Khe Sanh.

On admittedly short notice I asked him to compile a few memories of his experiences. He has yet to get back to me, but when/if he does I’ll post it here, in this entry, and I’ll let folks know of its arrival via a quick new entry.

The anniversary of the attack garnered no media attention that I saw, heard, or read, not even a mention on Refdesk.

I suppose as a nation we don’t feel the need to look backwards or dwell on the past, and dredging up memories of Vietnam probably isn’t very popular in light of our involvement in Iraq. Besides, I doubt the media is eager to admit they altered the course of history by abandoning their role as objective or reasoned observers. Best all around to forget.

Well, I remembered. And to all the servicemen, US, ARVN, Australian and ROK, who held the line and turned back the Offensive, granting South Vietnam seven more years of precious freedom, . . . Thank you. Your sacrifice, even in light of Saigon’s fall, was valuable and honorable.

Again, thank you.

Tags: Tet Offensive, Phu Cat, Khe Sanh, ARVN, ROK, Vietnam

J-Land Photo Shoot #127

I enjoyed last weeks contest, so here's another entry in Sometime's I Thinks J-Land Photo Shoot.

The subject this week is OLD.

This is a picture taken on my first tour of the home I live in now, which was vacant for a number of years. 

The cloth electrical wires and old-school fuses above, when combined with a vastly outdated power supply (to my recollection, less than half the juice that flows into a 'normal' home), were not enough to power a modern fridge or washer.

As a result the house had only an old ringer washer and an icebox. As you can imagine we replaced and updated the electical service.

Now that I look at the link above I realize I've posted this pic before, as part of that tour. So, in the interest of not selling the same item twice, here's a shot of the washer I mentioned (there were actually two in the basement).

* * * *

Tonight Lost returns for Season Four, and let the word spread far and wide: knock on my door, call my phone, Nextel me, or otherwise interrupt the glory of watching my favorite show in HD on a big screen (for the first time) and you will face a wrath unseen since the time of the Pharoahs.

Have a nice day!

Tags: Lost, Photo Shoot, Nostalgic Ave

aoljpictureUpload, aoljpictureUpload_1

A follow up on our efforts w/ AOL Journals

I want to thank everyone who stopped by and supported our efforts to get a save and print option for our Journals.

Just so everyone knows I didn't give up the cause, I sent the following letter to some AOL editors.

"To all AOL Editors:

 

Last week I used my blog to request that AOL give us a means of making our journals a little more permanent, either by creating a ‘save’ feature or a ‘printable’ version of each entry.

 

http://journals.aol.com/slapinions/Slap-Inionscom/entries/2008/01/13/to-all-aol-journalers/2206

 

The entry seemed to hit a nerve in J-Land, since as of this writing nearly a hundred journalers have stopped by to lend their support in the comment section of that post. And small wonder – for most of us our journals are scrapbooks and biographies recording entire years of our life.

 

Each of these journals represents not only a valued customer but a consistent source of ad revenue. Remember, an ad banner runs across every page of an AOL Journal. There are many blogs that post dozens of entries a month and garner hundreds of hits or more- with each visit putting money in AOL’s pocketbook.

 

We ask again that AOL create both a save and a print option for our journals as soon as possible.

 

Thank you,

 

Dan (aka slapinions) and luddie343, hunybea4him, midwestvintage, mutualaide, manda2177, mleighin21st, rebuketheworld, sunnyside46, deshelestraci, irisheyes1929, merry1621, quartrlyfecrysis, oddb0dkins, fowfies, ladymagnolia1963, heavenlybama, helmswondermom, ma24179, jeanno43, maryajacobs5, jibaro6543,sybilsybil45, mariealicejoan, libragem007, redpoppy007, tendernoggle, ora4uk, wwfbison, blazensun, winivere2002, chasferris, gaboatman, thegirlnexdoor77, innxdoor, sylviam4000, easteeleco, southernmush, onemoretina, jhorky, layla44808, preciousone25, slimhawk,lsfp1960, stupidsheetguy, bojgill4375, justplainbill, jckfrstross, shrbrisc, magran42, barbpinion, nelishianatl, sdoscher458, cacklinrosie101, abaleman666, yakima127, kaydeejay5449, rdautumnsage, justaname4me2, bhbner2him, peytonswater, memes121, seraphoflove9001, astoriasand, oldetownephotos, lv2trnscrb, csandhollow, valphish, luvrte66, labdancer51, nightmaremom, jackiepie,aniracj, gehi6, madcobug, adlessor, thebaabee, bgilmore725, monponsett, catslittertray,bookncoffee, pharmolo, specialadyfink, kirkbyj05, edwardssoapy, geocachelinda66, jeanno43, rap4143,jeadie05, scotthlori, kellwitch, chevyz71gurl74, alphawoman1, astaryth,jeannescorsone, fisherkristina, quartrlyfecrysis, gaboatman, abaleman666, kirkbyj05

 

* * *

I wanted to send it to the editors/authors of all the 'editor blogs' located on the AOL Journals homepage (http://journals.aol.com) but the vast majority open to standard web sites, so I was unable to obtain their screenames. Moreover many of the blogs state that they've moved on to .com addresses.

Why AOL editors would choose to blog in a format completely unlike what they offer us is open for debate.

In the end the email went to:

 -----Original Message-----
From: ">slapinions@aol.com
To: JournalsEditor@aol.com Williammorris@aol.com" _nanciymeng@aol.com; leonaoflaherty@aol.com
Sent: Wed, 30 Jan 2008 4:46 pm
Subject: AOL Journals

But as it turns out nancyimeng has changed her email address so I forwarded it on to here new one: nancie.meng@corp.aol.com.

I'm also going to pop on Magic Smoke and copy the email into a comment there.

I'll let you all know what, if anything, I hear.

UPDATE: Mere hours after sending the email, I received this:

Thanks for the email on this!
Would printing to a PDF file be useful?

 ______________________________________________________________________________
William Morris
We've got Community! Try our new People Connection... http://peopleconnection.aol.com

 

Could a solution be on the horizon??

Tags: blogplugs

Crazy Day, a worrisome furnace, a physical and a Big Red Dog

Here's a few pics of the girls as they prepared to depart for school today during Catholic Schools Week.

Today was designated as "Crazy Day" and we took full advantage the opportunity to not hunt and peck for uniforms and matching socks. Not seen in the pics are their mismatched shoes.

 

Smiley got in the act too.

It certainly seemed crazy to be having school in the first place today, with temperatures of -4F,winds of 20 mph, and a wind chill approaching -40F. Many of the Catholic schools in the area are closed - most I think - but ours stays open whenever (Milwaukee) Public Schools give it a go, and so school was in session. Nevermind that MPS is insane and is making thousands of kids wait on bus stops in this weather.

 The wife asked if we should keep the kids home. Heck no, I said - it’s a warm building and a warm meal (we drop them off so there was no bus issue) and that ‘warm building’ was something I couldn’t guarantee here.

You see, at about 5 am I was woken up, in my cozy bedroom on the second floor, by the knock-knock-knocking on my chamber door of my basement furnace.

I headed downstairs thinking of that Dad from A Christmas Story “who closed the damper!"and wondering what magic he had to keep his furnace going. For those who don’t know, my furnace is age-old, certainly older than me.

Me? No clue. So at 6 in the morning I called my friend the Socialist, who said he’d be over in 20 minutes. He arrived promptly and fixed it almost as quickly, lubricating a drive shaft in what he called the ‘squirrel cage’. Maybe, just maybe, we can still hold off on a new furnace until next fall.

Once again Socialist has proved his worth and his loyalty, and I thank him.

 * * * * * *

YaYa and LuLu both had shots yesterday, and YaYa had a comprehensive physical. She weighs 47 pounds and stands 48 inches tall (“You’re almost a square!,” the nurse said) and is in good health.

Her eyesight didn’t come out that great though. It was 20/25 in one eye and 20/40 in the other and she was referred to an eye doctor. Not a big deal, seeing as both her parents wear glasses (I started in 1st grade), but there was some thought she was tanking the test for shi*s and giggles. She’s never shown signs of bad eyesight nor complained about it.

 “Are you sure? Do you have trouble seeing at school?“ my wife asked.

 “No,“ she answered. “Well, sometimes I can’t see the spelling words on the board, but that’s it.”

Oh, well, as long as it’s not affecting something important like your education kid.

 * * *

Lisa ran out of gas on the way home from the physical, and in a bad neighborhood no less, as she missed her original freeway exit. Just wanted my gallant rescue on the record. That’s all. :)

 * * *

I missed A.I. last night but gobbled up four episodes of Family Guy split between several stations. Lisa was laughing because as soon as one episode ended I’d holler “turn on channel 57, Family Guy’s on!”

Sure, I’m doing my usual binge, no doubt followed by a sharp purge in the near future, but for now Family Guy makes me burst out laughing time after time.

Obnoxiously, no less.

Here's a clip of the 'over' sketch from the episode where Stewie and Brian buy a home.

* * *

 I took my measurements on November 11th as my current weight-loss effort started and again last night. Despite a bad week here, the evidence was pretty clear.

 I lost 2 inches in my chest and stomach, an inch in my thighs, a half an inch in my waist, etc.. Last I checked I weighed in at 342, down maybe 30 from my 2007 highpoint.

 I can’t see the difference, although my clothes no longer feel like a girdle. The trick is to keepup the effort and push forward.

 * * *

Re: Clifford the Big Red Dog “Clifford grew so big the Howards’ had to leave their home . . “. That’d be the f*ing day.

Tags: YaYa, LuLu, furnace, Socialist

Some Shots of Lauren

 

Here's some pics of Lauren. For some reason the photo program would remove the red-eye on some pics but not others; if I ever have time I'll try to touch them up in the future. I love the last pic, by the way :)

Whoa, Nellie that's a big head! Mine, I mean, not the baby's.

 

Tags: Baby

Three shots of our living room and a chance to show off some of my wife's work

First, a little before and after. Before, circa Jan-Feb of 2007:

And then in September of the same year. Granted, it's mainly cosmetic (except the floors) but impressive all the same.

The painting above the fireplace was done by my wife. She has an impressive knack for the visual arts/crafts/decorating/party-planning. I have none of her skills in that area, but I have her on one point: she has no imagination for stories or make-believe. I'm serious. If you erased all stories from human memory and assigned her, and her alone, to get the ball rolling and come up with a story . well, better luck having me design a prom dress.

Here's another project of hers I find very impressive. She took an old painting we purchased at a yard sale and covered it with four squares of hand-selected fabric. I've always felt this rocked and that is was an imaginative improvement over the original painting.

[Note: I'm sorry the picture leaves a little to be desired. I just dashed upstairs to take the shot (it's 12:49am), flicked on the light, took the photo and dashed out before I woke up my wife. No time to orchestrate a great shot}

Tags: Nostalgia Avenue

aoljaolPictureAdd, aoljaolPictureAdd_5

Where's an editor when you need one?

From an AP article on the 2008 State of the Union address, written by Terence Hunt. The emphasis is my own:

"Bush made only one mention of Osama bin Laden, who remains at large more than seven years after the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001 . . . "

Bear in mind that the last time I checked it was January 27th of 2008, nearly 8 months shy of the attack's seventh anniversary.

My intention here isn't political, and I know mistakes happen. I just find it amusing that an elementary school math error could slip past a professional journalist and his various editors.

My Wife's Artwork for Catholic School's Week 2008

Catholic Schools Week begins Monday and my wife, as room mother for both of my daughters' classes, had the responsiblity of decorating their classroom doors. She had to make sure to work in the theme of  "Catholic Schools Light The Way"

Here's LuLu's door:

Each of the paper dolls is dressed in 'clothing' crafted from fabric scraps my sister Katie donated to Lisa. They each also hold a candle in their hands to 'light the way' - the candle being a string of white battery-operated christmas lights Lisa bought for the project.

YaYa's door features an idea I came up with, the use of fireflies:

Because this one was in some part my idea, in concept if not execution, I include a second photo.

Each of the fireflies features one of the before-mentioned lights on their behind.

A heck of a job - kudo's to the Mrs. Here's hoping the kids remember some of what she did for them years down the road.

Tags: Lisa, art

OMG! (and please excuse all the !'s)

THIS IS NOT A JOKE

Woohoo!

People magazine's online edition is reporting a reunion of the New Kids on the Block, the seminal boy-band of the late '80's - early '90's!

Long time readers will recall that my wife and I have nearly 30  videotapes chock full of concerts and news footage of the band, and we have a trunk in storage jam-packed with everything from NKOTB slippers to trading cards to marbles and lunchboxes.

We even spent the turn-of-the-millenium in Boston at a Joey McIntyre concert. Hey I know it sounds odd, but my wife was a super fan and what the heck - they grew on me.

Who says you can't love Zeppelin and New Kids on the Block?

Man, what great news!

Here's the complete text of the article:

After months of speculation and rumor, the Kids are coming back. A well-placed source tells PEOPLE exclusively that New Kids On The Block are indeed getting back together.

The band's Web site, www.nkotb.com, which had been dormant, is now back up and running in anticipation of the official announcement, which the source says will be made in the next few weeks.

The site currently features a television graphic with a fuzzy, flickering photos of NKOTB in their heyday, and a link inviting fans to sign up for info.

The boy band, which made legions of tweens swoon in the early '90s, selling more than 50 million albums, became a worldwide phenomenon before calling it quits in 1994.

Eighteen years later, they're still "Hangin' Tough." The oldest "Kid," Jonathan Knight, now a real estate developer, will turn 40 later this year. Since the band's demise, former members Donnie Wahlberg, 38, and Joey McIntyre, 35, have seen acting success, while Danny Wood, 38, has worked as a music producer and Knight's brother, Jordan, 37, has continued to record.

Tags: NKTOB, New Kids on the Block, Donnie Wahlberg, Joey Mcintyre, Danny Wood, Jordan Knight, Jonathon Knight