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Friday, January 25, 2008

Jackson Browne, Eddie Vedder, My Mother-In-Law and the Glory of Working Speakers

A major triumph last night.

[note: don't let the length of the post scare you off - 80% of this post is composed of lyrics that you may read or skip at your leisure]

After months without a working printer or speakers I managed to install our printer/fax/copier/scanner/refrigerator/bidet on our computer in less than three minutes. Who knows why I failed so many other times.

Then I attacked the sound on our computer. In the fall Lisa had stepped on the control unit for our speakers, rendering them useless. Subsequent efforts to install a working unit failed and we've been deaf for months.

[You know, most of the time when we had sound I'd have the volume on 'mute' and not give a dang, but the minute it was taken away it seemed every day there was a different song or video that we couldn't enjoy.]

So I figured out that we were missing a driver (thank you medion.usa.com!) and thought I had it solved.

No sound.

I went to bed, I went to work, I came home and had the computer freeze, restarted it . . and a few minutes later AOL belted out "Welcome! You've got mail!"

Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggity dog! I'd forgotten to reboot to finalize the fix!

* * * * *

So I've been enjoying quite a bit of misc. noise online tonight . One of these is Jackson Browne's The Pretender, a Christmas gift from my mother-in-law.

She was quick to point out that the song didn't mean what she originally thought it did. It was intended as a song that empathized with my life, with work on one hand and a full family life on the other and not so much as a spare moment in between.

The song does that, but I think you'll agree there's a whole lot of resentment and regret and pity to go along with it, none of which applies to me. Here's the lyrics:

I'm going to rent myself a house
In the shade of the freeway
I'm going to pack my lunch in the morning
And go to work each day
And when the evening rolls around
I'll go on home and lay my body down
And when the morning light comes streaming in
I'll get up and do it again
Amen
Say it again
Amen

I want to know what became of the changes
We waited for love to bring
Were they only the fitful dreams
Of some greater awakening
I've been aware of the time going by
They say in the end it's the wink of an eye
And when the morning light comes streaming in
You'll get up and do it again
Amen

Caught between the longing for love
And the struggle for the legal tender
Where the sirens sing and the church bells ring
And the junk man pounds his fender
Where the veterans dream of the fight
Fast asleep at the traffic light
And the children solemnly wait
For the ice cream vendor
Out into the cool of the evening
Strolls the pretender
He knows that all his hopes and dreams
Begin and end there

Ah the laughter of the lovers
As they run through the night
Leaving nothing for the others
But to choose off and fight
And tear at the world with all their might
While the ships bearing their dreams
Sail out of sight

I'm going to find myself a girl
Who can show me what laughter means
And we'll fill in the missing colors
In each other's paint-by-number dreams
And then we'll put out dark glasses on
And we'll make love until our strength is gone
And when the morning light comes streaming in
We'll get up and do it again
Get it up again

I'm going to be a happy idiot
And struggle for the legal tender
Where the ads take aim and lay their claim
To the heart and the soul of the spender
And believe in whatever may lie
In those things that money can buy
Thought true love could have been a contender
Are you there?
Say a prayer for the pretender
Who started out so young and strong
Only to surrender
 

I certainly appreciated her effort to find the song (even calling a DJ for the name). And besides, her daughter had once famously made the same mistake. Lisa once lovingly told me that the Pearl Jam song Betterman (my favorite) reminded her of me.

Fine and dandy, except that it's a song about a woman who wishes she had a better man.

Oopsie.

* * * *

Speaking of PJ, here's a video of Eddie Vedder's solo efforts on the Into the Wild soundtrack.

The song is Hard Sun. I heard it on a local station and quickly fell in love with it. I certainly wouldn't mind getting a copy for my birthday in March.

When I walk beside her
I am the better man
When I look to leave her
I always stagger back again

Once I built an Ivory Tower
So I could worshi from above
When I climb down to be set free
She took me in again


CHORUS:
There's a big
A big hard sun
Beating on the big people
In a big hard world


When she comes to greet me
She is mercy at my feet
When I see her pin her charm
She just throws it back at me

Once I dug an early grave
To find a better land
She just smiled and laughed at me
And took her bruise back again


There's a big
A big hard sun
Beating on the big people
In a big hard world

There's a big
A big hard sun
Beating on the big people
In a big hard world


When I go across that river
She is comfort by my side
When I try to understand
She just opens up her hands


There's a big
A big hard sun
Beating on the big people
In a big hard world


Once I stood to lose her
When I saw what I had done
Bound down and flew away the hours
Of her garden and her sun

So I tried to warn her
I turned to see her weep
Forty days and forty nights
And it's still coming down on me


There's a big
A big hard sun
Beating on the big people
In a big hard world

There's a big
A big hard sun
Beating on the big people
In a big hard world

(Repeat chorus 6x, fading out)

I need help with the About Me section

Ok, I need some help. After three years and change on AOL Journals, you'd think I'd remember a thing or two.

Apparently not.

I'm trying to update my 'about me' section. I'd like to add some graphics there, graphics that link to another site.

Namely this one:

I added the picture via the handy 'camera' icon and then hit the 'globe' and tried making it a link to the site in question (as that site had recommended, actually).

No go.

I also tried adding a smidge of HTML into the About Me to 'create' a banner, but I can't remember how to do that at all.

This is doubly important because I am waiting for the arrival of a new masthead (or what I guess is a 'tag', although that term is new to me; either way it's the thing at the start of each of my entries) and a sidebar graphic with updated pics.

I warn you in advance - should you submit some advice and it fails to work, I might email a follow up question or two.

Thanks!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

J-Land Photo Shoot #126

On a lark I decided to jump in and participate in the weekly photo shoot over at Sometimes I Think.

This weeks' subject: Black and White.

I had originally intended to contrast the beauty of our recent snowfalls with the dirt, grime, and salt that quickly turns the side of the road into a dark slushy mess.

But in reality that's more brown than black, so no-go.

As it turns out I think I like this shot better, although I admit it's nothing fancy. 

Speaking of snow, we followed that wonderful -7 (F) weather with a good six to seven inch snowstorm the next day. It was a pretty odd brand of snow, very loose and almost artificial. I remember thinking as I shoveled out our parking slab that it seemed to be composed of thousands of tiny individual balls - like a Willy Wonka-ish blizzard of Dippin' Dots.

                        

Of course, gimmicky or not, it didn't make digging out any more fun that it's been for the other three feet of snow we've had this winter. And as always I wonder- my ancestors leave central Europe, travel halfway around the world . . and stop here. Why???

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Heath Ledger, Fred Thompson, and Courtney Love (but not in that order)

It's hard to imagine just how shocked I was when a "News at 10" promo came on and casually announced the death of actor Heath Ledger.

I wouldn't describe myself as a 'fan' - I don't think I can say that about any current actor, except perhaps Tom Hanks - but I respected Ledger and his work.

He was charming in '10 Things I Hate About You', cheerfully anachronistic in "Knights Tale" and his performance in 'Brokeback Mountain' was as near to a complete transformation as an actor will ever accomplish.

When you saw his name attached to a movie you walked in with high expectations, and his death, by whatever means it came,was a waste of true talent and ability.

He will be missed

* * * *

Ledger's death took a lot of the wind out of my sails. Earlier in the day I was irate about an article about Courtney Love that I saw online - angry enough to bend my wife's ear while she was on break at work.

She patiently told me I was getting worked up over nothing, that Love had every right to do what she did, and that I should give her the benefit of the doubt.

Translation: Kurt Cobain is long dead, get over it, and please don't call me at work to rant about his widow.

She has a point.

Then again, so do I. Love has announced the go-ahead of a feature film of Kurt Cobain's life, based on Charles R. Cross' bio Heavier than Heaven.

I'm not a big fan of the book and frankly, [full disclosure] couldn't read it cover to cover. To me it just seemed to be a book-length gossip rag supported by, and perhaps catering to, Courtney's version of events. There's a lot of items that come out of left field that are unsubstantiated and seem designed to sell copies.

And of course, the book ends with an infamous narrative of Kurt's last moments that openly incorporates fiction and guesswork - 'New journalism' perhaps, but piss poor history.

[Here's a few comprehensive objections to the book. I agree with some and find others as odd as some sections of the book.]

So I'm naturally leery of any feature film based on the book, especially when Love's people call the movie "an accurate, credible glimpse of her life with Kurt" and a "labor of love".

Credible, huh? Then why ask Scarlett Johansson to play you in the film?

Courtney was always hot in that bad girl/crack addict kind of way, but for Johansonn to pull it off she'll have to do more work than Charlize Theron did for Monster. 

All grumbling aside, I'll see the movie. How could I not?

* * * *

By the way, here's a pic of Kurt's daughter Frances Bean, who was about a year and a half when he died. Man, we're all getting old.

* * *

In politics, Fred Thompson gave up the ghost (oh, poor choice of words given the rest of this post) and dropped out of the race. So much for my friends theory that he was simply laying low until voter fatigue set in for the other candidates.

I watched some of the Democratic debate last night. They'd best be careful. You have to fight tooth and nail in the primaries, but if you rip the competition too effectively you eliminate any reasonable chance of being a plausible VP, and perhaps more importantly on a grand scale, how can anyone buy your future support for the nominee in the general election?

Monday, January 21, 2008

A not-so-brief intro to Slapinions

With all the new visitors in the last few days I thought I should provide a brief introduction to this journal and its author.

[Sure, I know most of the folks jumped in to sign the AOL petition and that’s that, but someone’s browser might freeze and force them to read this, right?]

The intro link on the sidebar does a fairly good job of giving you the background of how this site started and a taste of my writing. 'Trouble is, that intro was written around the midway point of 2005 so it’s not exactly breaking news. There’s plenty of good, bad, and indifferent writing that I’ve posted in the past two years. Still, I think it’s worth a look if you have the time.

As far as my biography, I’m Dan, a 33 year old who’s about two months from turning 34. I’m a married father of four and a lifelong resident of Milwaukee.

In person I stand a few inches past 6 feet and weighs upwards of 300 pounds. As always, I’m trying to change that last part (the weight, not the height) but it’s a small part of my life and you‘ll rarely hear me whine about it. After ten years of smoking I quit in November of ’06, which I thought I‘d never manage to do.

I’m Midwestern, white, middle aged (or dang near), Catholic and vote Republican, and I’m sure I fit many of the stereotypes those things inspire. Oh yeah, I’m pretty far down on the American economic ladder, although hardly destitute. I still worry about how I’m going to pay the heating bill every month and the day before payday is often spent with fingers crossed and leftovers on my plate.

But at least I can afford the plate.

I like football OK but worship baseball. I follow my hometown Brewers because I have a fondness for lost causes and the Yankees because they have no idea of what the term ‘lost cause’ means. I strongly believe Arod is the best player in the game and that the Cubs suck.

I’m one of the rare people who genuinely like all kinds of music, from jazz to rap, metal to country, but of course I have my preferences on who I like and dislike. My favorites: Artie Shaw, Buddy Holly, Led Zeppelin, Queen, Garth Brooks, Nirvana (Kurt I miss ya) and almost any early to mid ‘90’s music that involves the wearing of flannel.

For the most part I’m either goofy, sentimental, or pissy. Too much of the latter in the last few years, so I’m trying to reign that in.

I read a lot, although I’ve never met my goal of 100 books in a year. Dorky fact: since ‘94 I’ve kept a complete chronological list of every book I’ve read.

I’ve also written a book, although it was rejected by publishers.

In my life I have met, among others: Jimmy Page of Zeppelin, Jessica Simpson (a b**ch, let me tell ya), the Black Crowes (drove their drummer to the airport when he found out his wife was in labor), the guy who played Chewabbaca in Star Wars, James Lofton (NFL Hall of Famer), LFO, a handful of Senators, Congressmen, and Alderman, and I’ve seen George W. Bush on three occasions.

That list always makes my life seem more exciting than it is, trust me.

In the late summer of ’05 I earned a large promotion at work and now manage a company that employees 43 people. I don’t talk about work here except in passing, and I never identify the name of the place or even the type of industry I'm involved in. In part this is due to my respect for the business, my desire for anonymity, and the fact that I don’t like talking about the place when I’m at home.

Truth be told, I’d rather be writing for a living. Trust me.

I met my wife Lisa when she was 4 months past her 18th birthday and married her just five days past her 20th. (I was 20 and 22). The worst part about marrying young: people expect a quickie divorce so the gifts suck.

We’ve been married nearly 12 years now and it’s still the best decision of my life, hands down.

We annoy the heck out of each other at times (such as now, when she’s insistent on talking to me from another room. Why not walk over and talk to me in person? I can’t stand it when she does that and she hates that in protest I answer in monosyllables ) but she’s without a doubt my best friend and I truly enjoy her company more than anyone else’s on earth.

Plus she makes some pretty cute kids so she's not all bad :)

YaYa is my oldest child, a 1st grader born right before our 5th anniversary and just after 9/11, which means like all my children she’s lived her whole life in wartime. Man, that’s depressing.

Anyway, she’s very outgoingand into acting and performing, which means she’s got a lot of her mother’s genes. However, like me she’s turned into an avid reader and often writes a story in her notebook before bedtime.

On the negative side she has a selfish streak and can be a pretty good shyster for a 1st grader. For instance, just this past weekend, while visiting at my Mom’s, she conned her into believing she couldn’t possibly do a book report because her teacher ‘doesn’t allow us to use library books for the report’.

How my Mom bought that for even a second eludes me, but that’s YaYa.

Oh, and the name? When she was 3 or so she’d get in the car and refuse to move over for her sister, citing this reason or that. My response? “Yeah, ya, move over” which her little sister then picked up as a nickname and eventually carried over to the site.

Next in line is LuLu, a K4 student whose nickname derives from a morph of her true name and that of a store in the mall. She is a cute little cabbage patch doll of a girl who thankfully was gifted with my hair. She’s very into dolls and tea parties and quick to both anger and compassion.

Without question she is the kindest and most giving of all my children and she has always adored and doted on her younger siblings.

But she was also the Middle Child for two years. She has a strong sense of competition with YaYa and a bit of a persecution complex in general.

Add to that the fact that right now she’s 4, and at least in my experience that’s a far more emotionally draining year than the over-hyped ‘terrible two’s’.

Oddly, I can picture the grown up LuLu as both a wife and mother of four herself, and/or a rock-pop singer like Avril Lavigne. Yeah, I don’t understand it either.

Smiley is my only son, a strapping ladwhose birth was chronicled on this site. He’s going to be a giant of a man.

For a while I nicknamed him Quake, as in ‘men will quake when he enters a room and women will swoon’, but I quickly dumped that because it was nearly the direct opposite of his personality. “Maker of Trouble and Mayhem’ fit, but it didn’t ‘flow’. So Smiley he became.

You know how people brag about how friendly and outgoing their child is, and then you meet the kid and he’s a brat well on his way to being the next Krushchev?

Yeah, not the case here. He hasn’t stopped smiling since he learned how and he’s full of giggles and laughter and so much good cheer it’s incredible. He’s inherited all of my goofiness and none of my moodiness (so far, knock on wood).

He had some ear problems that seem to have delayed his speech, but tubes in both ears have corrected his hearing and we’re working on the problem.

Last but not least is the Baby, not as yet blessed with a nickname of note.

She is a mere 5 months old but is arguably my favorite baby of the bunch. For the first time I’m the primary caregiver at night and the two of us have bonded. She looks at me with love and a smile, I look at her like a living alarm clock. I jest, I jest. I’m horribly fond of her and just love the heck out of her, to the point where I don’t even mind getting up at night.

She is the loudest of the bunch, or at least the quickest to a loud shriek among all the babies, and has rapidly abandoned an early preference for solids in favor of the bottle (which we are trying to reverse again). She has a problem with spit-up and vomiting (usually on Mom) and despises being in a dirty diaper for even a moment.

Aside from the kids we have two cats, Billy and AngelCakes, a turtle named Franklin and a praying mantis eggsack I hope to have hatch in the spring.

So that’s it – a quick who’s-who of my immediate family and of moi himself.

I hope you return to the site often and enjoy what you find here.

Thanks!


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Sunday, January 20, 2008

So you think you know cold?

This morning I stumbled downstairs to get ready for work and nearly jumped back in bed in one bound. There was no way I could've braved the temperatures on our first floor in just a pair of shorts.

For good reason. It was -7 degrees (F) outside with a wind chill below that, and my 116 year old house wasn't up to the task of keeping out the weather.

When we bought the long-vacant house last year we converted the unfinished second floor into four bedrooms, all insulated, with new windows and a separate high efficiency furnace.

With the mandatory exception of the bathroom we didn't have the money to do more than surface work to the main floor. And so we face the cold spell with drafty old windows and warped window frames, uninsulated walls more than a century old, screen doors not worth a damn, and main doors so old and past their prime that you can feel the breeze through the wood of the door.

Oh, and a furnance that is honest and truly a few years older than I am.

So I went to work and a few hours later my wife called me to complain about the heat. It was, at the time, 56 degrees on the main floor with a steady draft from all angles. And this with the furnace and a space heater on full blast.

"Keep the kids upstairs," I said, knowing the upstairs was a toasty 71 degrees.

"Look, I know this sounds ghetto," my wife said, "but there's no TV upstairs. There's no way your children are going to stay entertained and calm for 8 hours without at least a little Hannah Montana"

'Tis true. I recognized the wisdom of her words. And yet worse was to come. An hour or so later she called to say that the kitchen faucet no longer worked; the pipes had frozen.

So on the way home I stopped at Home Depot and bought some magnetic vent covers. When I got home I used them to double-seal the vents in the basement and made sure the vents on the 1st floor were open and clear. I called my friend The Socialist who quickly came to my rescue with both advice and a space heater that he set up by the water supply line to thaw out the pipes. I did a patchwork job of closing a dining room window that had jiggled loose and was open 1/4th of an inch.

Within a few hours the temp was up to a balmy 65 degrees. Heaven!

Here's a pic of the baby as she dealt with the cold. Keep in mind this is how she was dressed inside all day.

* * * *

YaYa is selling Girl Scout cookies for Brownies. All interested parties in Milwaukee (who know us) may feel free to contact me for some boxes. Her goal is 150, enough to earn a radio, and so far she is up to 51 after an audacious door to door campaign in this weather! and a telephone sales pitch worthy of a telemarketer.

This burst of entrepreneurial spirit almost makes up for the fact that she and her friend used LuLu's closet rod as a chin up bar and ripped one end right out of the drywall. I swear, keeping the house merely INTACT with four kids around is a chore.

* * *

Random thought:  you know, in the storm that heralded this cold spell's arrival the wind was so strong that it tore our front gate right off? I mean just shorn it off, like a grizzly bear had come and given it a good wallop. Crazy. One more thing to fix, like we needed that.

* * *
I took all the kids to pick up two kid-friendly digital cameras that were on clearance at a local store. I told them they couldn't use them until we fixed the sound on the computer, which is a crock. I'm hoping they actually forget about them long enough to pass them out for their birthdays.

Why would I take them along? Wasn't that counter-productive and foolish given that I was picking up gifts for them? Sure. But I was trying to buy good conduct time with my wife so that I could watch the game in peace.

* * *

At the store I also picked up some Littlest Pet Store pens that came with a tiny car that was RC controlled by a pair of buttons on the pen. Weird but true. Anyway, LuLu's worked great but YaYa's must have had a bum battery. Cue tears and fireworks from YaYa. Thankfully her sister volunteered to borrow her pen out for a few minutes to solve the dilemma.

Later LuLu runs into the dining room claiming her's had stopped working as well. .

"Arrgghhh! It's not working anymore and I don't like it. It's a stoopid car and I hate . . oh, nevermind. It's working", she said. She then smiled, turned, and walked out the door.

I laughed hard enough to not even correct her use of 'stupid' and 'hate', both of which are verbotten around here.


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Man that sucked

Well as you all know by now the Giants just defeated Green Bay in overtime, 23-20, to advance to the SuperBowl.

Congrats to them. I'll be rooting for them to defend the NFC and uproot the Patriots.

Frankly it's a shame either team had to advance to the big game after watching those last 30 minutes of regulation.

 I was impressed by the 1st half and dismayed in the 2nd. Once I realized that the Pack couldn't move the ball at all my gut said the game was lost. Fortunately for comedy fans the Giants seemed intent on watching the SuperBowl from home. Their errors kept the Pack in the game.

Pfftt. It was a helluva season and no regrets up to this point, but Shazam . . . the Giants tanked two field goals to get the game to OT and we still lost . .

I have to look on the bright side. For the first twenty-odd years of my life the Packers sucked. I remember lousy year after lousy year, so I should be grateful that I've had 15 years of greateness and managed to see the Pack back in the NFC Championship. Still . . .

I'm gonna feel this one in the morning.

* * *

In an early attempt to cheer up I just wanted to record my joy at the Donald Driver 90 yard dash-and-dodge for a TD in the 1st half, the fine defensive stand to end the 2nd, and the interception by  the Giants that turned into a fumble recovered for a Green Bay 1st down; all three plays had me on my feet screaming.

I think I'm going to go upstairs and tuck in my kids, who have put up with me watching the game for hours..

Man this sucks.

Packer Prayer

I am not one of the millions of Wisconsinites who worhip the Green and Gold. I like the Packers and all, but I don't live and die by them; I don't even own any Packers clothing (gasp!).

Even so I'll be watching the NFC Championship game today and rooting just as hard as anyone in this state. I think we can take the Giants. It'll be rough going at times, but I think it'll get done. I'm looking forward to seeing the Ice Bowl II, with temperatures expected to start out at -7 degrees with wind chill factors much below that.

I'm also rooting for the Chargers to knock off the Pats, for too many reasons to mention.

Here's a take on the Lord's Prayer that's circulating on the net. Not my cup of tea, but cute none-the-less.

Our Favre,

Who art in Lambeau,

Hallowed be thine arm.

Thy bowl will come,

It will be won.

In Phoenix as it is in Lambeau.

And give us this Sunday,

Our weekly win.

And give us many touchdown passes

But do not let others pass against us.

Lead us not into frustration,

But deliver us to the valley of the sun.

For thine is the MVP, the best of the NFC,

and the gloryof the Cheeseheads,

now and forever.

Go get'em. Amen."

Go Pack!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Update on Smiley

Last week Smiley also went back to the Ear/Nose/Throat doctor. This time his hearing turned up as normal in both ears (yea!), and that drainage I mentioned apparently means the tubes are doing their job.

The problem is the doc is discouraged by the lack of improvement in his speech and raised the idea of a neurological or developmental problem.

Long story short, a panel of 6 specialists will be evaluating him in the upcoming weeks, all predicated on our review of a packet of information that is now at least four days overdue in the mail.

I for one don't think there's something 'wrong'. I think the kid couldn't hear correctly for the longest time and is now just where, say, a baby would be at 8 months (to randomly choose an age).

Look, his screeching and ear-piercing screams are greatly diminished in number and volume, and he's begun to,well, babble. It sounds much like his baby sister's cooing and nonsensical sounds. So maybe it'll take awhile for him to catch up. That's still a long way from saying there's something misfiring in his neurons.

Evidence on my side:

1. He does have what seems like full comprehension of even complicated speech and directions.

2. He's always mimicked the cadence of speech. 'Thank you' is expressed in gibberish, but on sheet music it would follow the same line, if you follow my train of thought.

3. He has a vocabulary, albeit a very small one.

4. Since the surgery he has finally said 'Da Da'. UPDATE: this morning (the 17th) he gave me a hug before work and said 'Dada' loud and clear. This was the first unequivocal use of my name so I was ecstatic and asked him to say it again. He gave me that Smiley grin and said it all over again . . great moment!

Meanwhile he's getting a lot of well-intentioned but irritating attention from people. I am not in denial. If he has a problem, so be it.

But don't jump the gun and assume the worst.

* * *

By the way, with 25 minutes to spare, Happy 70th Birthday to Jaspare and Happy 32nd to Chris!


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AngelCakes Surgery

Last week, through the gracious use of Lisa's check, we had our cat AngelCakes spayed, declawed, and at my insistence microchipped.

She was gone for a day and returned last Friday. She got through it much better than Billy did. When he came back 10 years ago his paws were bloody and he walked like an old man for days. Angel seems to have had no lingering effects, I'm sure due to her youth, although she is a bit more lethargic of late.

When she came home Billy, for the first time ever, let her eat first. Usually she has to wait her turn, but this time it was right to the front of the line and he licked her back the whole time she ate.

That night it was straight back to sleeping in YaYa's room. In the pics above she's borrowing the baby's Bumbo seat. She also enjoys the baby swing.

She's been a great addition to our family and I'm glad the girls rescued her back in 2006.