Jackson Browne, Eddie Vedder, My Mother-In-Law and the Glory of Working Speakers

A major triumph last night.

[note: don't let the length of the post scare you off - 80% of this post is composed of lyrics that you may read or skip at your leisure]

After months without a working printer or speakers I managed to install our printer/fax/copier/scanner/refrigerator/bidet on our computer in less than three minutes. Who knows why I failed so many other times.

Then I attacked the sound on our computer. In the fall Lisa had stepped on the control unit for our speakers, rendering them useless. Subsequent efforts to install a working unit failed and we've been deaf for months.

[You know, most of the time when we had sound I'd have the volume on 'mute' and not give a dang, but the minute it was taken away it seemed every day there was a different song or video that we couldn't enjoy.]

So I figured out that we were missing a driver (thank you medion.usa.com!) and thought I had it solved.

No sound.

I went to bed, I went to work, I came home and had the computer freeze, restarted it . . and a few minutes later AOL belted out "Welcome! You've got mail!"

Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggity dog! I'd forgotten to reboot to finalize the fix!

* * * * *

So I've been enjoying quite a bit of misc. noise online tonight . One of these is Jackson Browne's The Pretender, a Christmas gift from my mother-in-law.

She was quick to point out that the song didn't mean what she originally thought it did. It was intended as a song that empathized with my life, with work on one hand and a full family life on the other and not so much as a spare moment in between.

The song does that, but I think you'll agree there's a whole lot of resentment and regret and pity to go along with it, none of which applies to me. Here's the lyrics:

I'm going to rent myself a house
In the shade of the freeway
I'm going to pack my lunch in the morning
And go to work each day
And when the evening rolls around
I'll go on home and lay my body down
And when the morning light comes streaming in
I'll get up and do it again
Amen
Say it again
Amen

I want to know what became of the changes
We waited for love to bring
Were they only the fitful dreams
Of some greater awakening
I've been aware of the time going by
They say in the end it's the wink of an eye
And when the morning light comes streaming in
You'll get up and do it again
Amen

Caught between the longing for love
And the struggle for the legal tender
Where the sirens sing and the church bells ring
And the junk man pounds his fender
Where the veterans dream of the fight
Fast asleep at the traffic light
And the children solemnly wait
For the ice cream vendor
Out into the cool of the evening
Strolls the pretender
He knows that all his hopes and dreams
Begin and end there

Ah the laughter of the lovers
As they run through the night
Leaving nothing for the others
But to choose off and fight
And tear at the world with all their might
While the ships bearing their dreams
Sail out of sight

I'm going to find myself a girl
Who can show me what laughter means
And we'll fill in the missing colors
In each other's paint-by-number dreams
And then we'll put out dark glasses on
And we'll make love until our strength is gone
And when the morning light comes streaming in
We'll get up and do it again
Get it up again

I'm going to be a happy idiot
And struggle for the legal tender
Where the ads take aim and lay their claim
To the heart and the soul of the spender
And believe in whatever may lie
In those things that money can buy
Thought true love could have been a contender
Are you there?
Say a prayer for the pretender
Who started out so young and strong
Only to surrender

 

I certainly appreciated her effort to find the song (even calling a DJ for the name). And besides, her daughter had once famously made the same mistake. Lisa once lovingly told me that the Pearl Jam song Betterman (my favorite) reminded her of me.

Fine and dandy, except that it's a song about a woman who wishes she had a better man.

Oopsie.

* * * *

Speaking of PJ, here's a video of Eddie Vedder's solo efforts on the Into the Wild soundtrack.

The song is Hard Sun. I heard it on a local station and quickly fell in love with it. I certainly wouldn't mind getting a copy for my birthday in March.

When I walk beside her
I am the better man
When I look to leave her
I always stagger back again

Once I built an Ivory Tower
So I could worshi from above
When I climb down to be set free
She took me in again


CHORUS:
There's a big
A big hard sun
Beating on the big people
In a big hard world


When she comes to greet me
She is mercy at my feet
When I see her pin her charm
She just throws it back at me

Once I dug an early grave
To find a better land
She just smiled and laughed at me
And took her bruise back again


There's a big
A big hard sun
Beating on the big people
In a big hard world

There's a big
A big hard sun
Beating on the big people
In a big hard world


When I go across that river
She is comfort by my side
When I try to understand
She just opens up her hands


There's a big
A big hard sun
Beating on the big people
In a big hard world


Once I stood to lose her
When I saw what I had done
Bound down and flew away the hours
Of her garden and her sun

So I tried to warn her
I turned to see her weep
Forty days and forty nights
And it's still coming down on me


There's a big
A big hard sun
Beating on the big people
In a big hard world

There's a big
A big hard sun
Beating on the big people
In a big hard world

(Repeat chorus 6x, fading out)

Tags: Jackson Browne, Medion, Pearl Jam, Eddie Vedder

I need help with the About Me section

Ok, I need some help. After three years and change on AOL Journals, you'd think I'd remember a thing or two.

Apparently not.

I'm trying to update my 'about me' section. I'd like to add some graphics there, graphics that link to another site.

Namely this one:

I added the picture via the handy 'camera' icon and then hit the 'globe' and tried making it a link to the site in question (as that site had recommended, actually).

No go.

I also tried adding a smidge of HTML into the About Me to 'create' a banner, but I can't remember how to do that at all.

This is doubly important because I am waiting for the arrival of a new masthead (or what I guess is a 'tag', although that term is new to me; either way it's the thing at the start of each of my entries) and a sidebar graphic with updated pics.

I warn you in advance - should you submit some advice and it fails to work, I might email a follow up question or two.

Thanks!

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J-Land Photo Shoot #126

On a lark I decided to jump in and participate in the weekly photo shoot over at Sometimes I Think.

This weeks' subject: Black and White.

I had originally intended to contrast the beauty of our recent snowfalls with the dirt, grime, and salt that quickly turns the side of the road into a dark slushy mess.

But in reality that's more brown than black, so no-go.

As it turns out I think I like this shot better, although I admit it's nothing fancy. 

Speaking of snow, we followed that wonderful -7 (F) weather with a good six to seven inch snowstorm the next day. It was a pretty odd brand of snow, very loose and almost artificial. I remember thinking as I shoveled out our parking slab that it seemed to be composed of thousands of tiny individual balls - like a Willy Wonka-ish blizzard of Dippin' Dots.

                        

Of course, gimmicky or not, it didn't make digging out any more fun that it's been for the other three feet of snow we've had this winter. And as always I wonder- my ancestors leave central Europe, travel halfway around the world . . and stop here. Why???

Tags: JLand Photo Shoot, Snow

Heath Ledger, Fred Thompson, and Courtney Love (but not in that order)

It's hard to imagine just how shocked I was when a "News at 10" promo came on and casually announced the death of actor Heath Ledger.

I wouldn't describe myself as a 'fan' - I don't think I can say that about any current actor, except perhaps Tom Hanks - but I respected Ledger and his work.

He was charming in '10 Things I Hate About You', cheerfully anachronistic in "Knights Tale" and his performance in 'Brokeback Mountain' was as near to a complete transformation as an actor will ever accomplish.

When you saw his name attached to a movie you walked in with high expectations, and his death, by whatever means it came,was a waste of true talent and ability.

He will be missed

* * * *

Ledger's death took a lot of the wind out of my sails. Earlier in the day I was irate about an article about Courtney Love that I saw online - angry enough to bend my wife's ear while she was on break at work.

She patiently told me I was getting worked up over nothing, that Love had every right to do what she did, and that I should give her the benefit of the doubt.

Translation: Kurt Cobain is long dead, get over it, and please don't call me at work to rant about his widow.

She has a point.

Then again, so do I. Love has announced the go-ahead of a feature film of Kurt Cobain's life, based on Charles R. Cross' bio Heavier than Heaven.

I'm not a big fan of the book and frankly, [full disclosure] couldn't read it cover to cover. To me it just seemed to be a book-length gossip rag supported by, and perhaps catering to, Courtney's version of events. There's a lot of items that come out of left field that are unsubstantiated and seem designed to sell copies.

And of course, the book ends with an infamous narrative of Kurt's last moments that openly incorporates fiction and guesswork - 'New journalism' perhaps, but piss poor history.

[Here's a few comprehensive objections to the book. I agree with some and find others as odd as some sections of the book.]

So I'm naturally leery of any feature film based on the book, especially when Love's people call the movie "an accurate, credible glimpse of her life with Kurt" and a "labor of love".

Credible, huh? Then why ask Scarlett Johansson to play you in the film?

Courtney was always hot in that bad girl/crack addict kind of way, but for Johansonn to pull it off she'll have to do more work than Charlize Theron did for Monster. 

All grumbling aside, I'll see the movie. How could I not?

* * * *

By the way, here's a pic of Kurt's daughter Frances Bean, who was about a year and a half when he died. Man, we're all getting old.

* * *

In politics, Fred Thompson gave up the ghost (oh, poor choice of words given the rest of this post) and dropped out of the race. So much for my friends theory that he was simply laying low until voter fatigue set in for the other candidates.

I watched some of the Democratic debate last night. They'd best be careful. You have to fight tooth and nail in the primaries, but if you rip the competition too effectively you eliminate any reasonable chance of being a plausible VP, and perhaps more importantly on a grand scale, how can anyone buy your future support for the nominee in the general election?

Tags: Heath Ledger, Kurt Cobain, Frances Bean Cobain, Courtney Love, Fred Thompson

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A not-so-brief intro to Slapinions

With all the new visitors in the last few days I thought I should provide a brief introduction to this journal and its author.

[Sure, I know most of the folks jumped in to sign the AOL petition and that’s that, but someone’s browser might freeze and force them to read this, right?]

The intro link on the sidebar does a fairly good job of giving you the background of how this site started and a taste of my writing. 'Trouble is, that intro was written around the midway point of 2005 so it’s not exactly breaking news. There’s plenty of good, bad, and indifferent writing that I’ve posted in the past two years. Still, I think it’s worth a look if you have the time.

As far as my biography, I’m Dan, a 33 year old who’s about two months from turning 34. I’m a married father of four and a lifelong resident of Milwaukee.

In person I stand a few inches past 6 feet and weighs upwards of 300 pounds. As always, I’m trying to change that last part (the weight, not the height) but it’s a small part of my life and you‘ll rarely hear me whine about it. After ten years of smoking I quit in November of ’06, which I thought I‘d never manage to do.

I’m Midwestern, white, middle aged (or dang near), Catholic and vote Republican, and I’m sure I fit many of the stereotypes those things inspire. Oh yeah, I’m pretty far down on the American economic ladder, although hardly destitute. I still worry about how I’m going to pay the heating bill every month and the day before payday is often spent with fingers crossed and leftovers on my plate.

But at least I can afford the plate.

I like football OK but worship baseball. I follow my hometown Brewers because I have a fondness for lost causes and the Yankees because they have no idea of what the term ‘lost cause’ means. I strongly believe Arod is the best player in the game and that the Cubs suck.

I’m one of the rare people who genuinely like all kinds of music, from jazz to rap, metal to country, but of course I have my preferences on who I like and dislike. My favorites: Artie Shaw, Buddy Holly, Led Zeppelin, Queen, Garth Brooks, Nirvana (Kurt I miss ya) and almost any early to mid ‘90’s music that involves the wearing of flannel.

For the most part I’m either goofy, sentimental, or pissy. Too much of the latter in the last few years, so I’m trying to reign that in.

I read a lot, although I’ve never met my goal of 100 books in a year. Dorky fact: since ‘94 I’ve kept a complete chronological list of every book I’ve read.

I’ve also written a book, although it was rejected by publishers.

In my life I have met, among others: Jimmy Page of Zeppelin, Jessica Simpson (a b**ch, let me tell ya), the Black Crowes (drove their drummer to the airport when he found out his wife was in labor), the guy who played Chewabbaca in Star Wars, James Lofton (NFL Hall of Famer), LFO, a handful of Senators, Congressmen, and Alderman, and I’ve seen George W. Bush on three occasions.

That list always makes my life seem more exciting than it is, trust me.

In the late summer of ’05 I earned a large promotion at work and now manage a company that employees 43 people. I don’t talk about work here except in passing, and I never identify the name of the place or even the type of industry I'm involved in. In part this is due to my respect for the business, my desire for anonymity, and the fact that I don’t like talking about the place when I’m at home.

Truth be told, I’d rather be writing for a living. Trust me.

I met my wife Lisa when she was 4 months past her 18th birthday and married her just five days past her 20th. (I was 20 and 22). The worst part about marrying young: people expect a quickie divorce so the gifts suck.

We’ve been married nearly 12 years now and it’s still the best decision of my life, hands down.

We annoy the heck out of each other at times (such as now, when she’s insistent on talking to me from another room. Why not walk over and talk to me in person? I can’t stand it when she does that and she hates that in protest I answer in monosyllables ) but she’s without a doubt my best friend and I truly enjoy her company more than anyone else’s on earth.

Plus she makes some pretty cute kids so she's not all bad :)

YaYa is my oldest child, a 1st grader born right before our 5th anniversary and just after 9/11, which means like all my children she’s lived her whole life in wartime. Man, that’s depressing.

Anyway, she’s very outgoingand into acting and performing, which means she’s got a lot of her mother’s genes. However, like me she’s turned into an avid reader and often writes a story in her notebook before bedtime.

On the negative side she has a selfish streak and can be a pretty good shyster for a 1st grader. For instance, just this past weekend, while visiting at my Mom’s, she conned her into believing she couldn’t possibly do a book report because her teacher ‘doesn’t allow us to use library books for the report’.

How my Mom bought that for even a second eludes me, but that’s YaYa.

Oh, and the name? When she was 3 or so she’d get in the car and refuse to move over for her sister, citing this reason or that. My response? “Yeah, ya, move over” which her little sister then picked up as a nickname and eventually carried over to the site.

Next in line is LuLu, a K4 student whose nickname derives from a morph of her true name and that of a store in the mall. She is a cute little cabbage patch doll of a girl who thankfully was gifted with my hair. She’s very into dolls and tea parties and quick to both anger and compassion.

Without question she is the kindest and most giving of all my children and she has always adored and doted on her younger siblings.

But she was also the Middle Child for two years. She has a strong sense of competition with YaYa and a bit of a persecution complex in general.

Add to that the fact that right now she’s 4, and at least in my experience that’s a far more emotionally draining year than the over-hyped ‘terrible two’s’.

Oddly, I can picture the grown up LuLu as both a wife and mother of four herself, and/or a rock-pop singer like Avril Lavigne. Yeah, I don’t understand it either.

Smiley is my only son, a strapping ladwhose birth was chronicled on this site. He’s going to be a giant of a man.

For a while I nicknamed him Quake, as in ‘men will quake when he enters a room and women will swoon’, but I quickly dumped that because it was nearly the direct opposite of his personality. “Maker of Trouble and Mayhem’ fit, but it didn’t ‘flow’. So Smiley he became.

You know how people brag about how friendly and outgoing their child is, and then you meet the kid and he’s a brat well on his way to being the next Krushchev?

Yeah, not the case here. He hasn’t stopped smiling since he learned how and he’s full of giggles and laughter and so much good cheer it’s incredible. He’s inherited all of my goofiness and none of my moodiness (so far, knock on wood).

He had some ear problems that seem to have delayed his speech, but tubes in both ears have corrected his hearing and we’re working on the problem.

Last but not least is the Baby, not as yet blessed with a nickname of note.

She is a mere 5 months old but is arguably my favorite baby of the bunch. For the first time I’m the primary caregiver at night and the two of us have bonded. She looks at me with love and a smile, I look at her like a living alarm clock. I jest, I jest. I’m horribly fond of her and just love the heck out of her, to the point where I don’t even mind getting up at night.

She is the loudest of the bunch, or at least the quickest to a loud shriek among all the babies, and has rapidly abandoned an early preference for solids in favor of the bottle (which we are trying to reverse again). She has a problem with spit-up and vomiting (usually on Mom) and despises being in a dirty diaper for even a moment.

Aside from the kids we have two cats, Billy and AngelCakes, a turtle named Franklin and a praying mantis eggsack I hope to have hatch in the spring.

So that’s it – a quick who’s-who of my immediate family and of moi himself.

I hope you return to the site often and enjoy what you find here.

Thanks!

Tags: YaYa, LuLu, Smiley, Baby

So you think you know cold?

This morning I stumbled downstairs to get ready for work and nearly jumped back in bed in one bound. There was no way I could've braved the temperatures on our first floor in just a pair of shorts.

For good reason. It was -7 degrees (F) outside with a wind chill below that, and my 116 year old house wasn't up to the task of keeping out the weather.

When we bought the long-vacant house last year we converted the unfinished second floor into four bedrooms, all insulated, with new windows and a separate high efficiency furnace.

With the mandatory exception of the bathroom we didn't have the money to do more than surface work to the main floor. And so we face the cold spell with drafty old windows and warped window frames, uninsulated walls more than a century old, screen doors not worth a damn, and main doors so old and past their prime that you can feel the breeze through the wood of the door.

Oh, and a furnance that is honest and truly a few years older than I am.

So I went to work and a few hours later my wife called me to complain about the heat. It was, at the time, 56 degrees on the main floor with a steady draft from all angles. And this with the furnace and a space heater on full blast.

"Keep the kids upstairs," I said, knowing the upstairs was a toasty 71 degrees.

"Look, I know this sounds ghetto," my wife said, "but there's no TV upstairs. There's no way your children are going to stay entertained and calm for 8 hours without at least a little Hannah Montana"

'Tis true. I recognized the wisdom of her words. And yet worse was to come. An hour or so later she called to say that the kitchen faucet no longer worked; the pipes had frozen.

So on the way home I stopped at Home Depot and bought some magnetic vent covers. When I got home I used them to double-seal the vents in the basement and made sure the vents on the 1st floor were open and clear. I called my friend The Socialist who quickly came to my rescue with both advice and a space heater that he set up by the water supply line to thaw out the pipes. I did a patchwork job of closing a dining room window that had jiggled loose and was open 1/4th of an inch.

Within a few hours the temp was up to a balmy 65 degrees. Heaven!

Here's a pic of the baby as she dealt with the cold. Keep in mind this is how she was dressed inside all day.

* * * *

YaYa is selling Girl Scout cookies for Brownies. All interested parties in Milwaukee (who know us) may feel free to contact me for some boxes. Her goal is 150, enough to earn a radio, and so far she is up to 51 after an audacious door to door campaign in this weather! and a telephone sales pitch worthy of a telemarketer.

This burst of entrepreneurial spirit almost makes up for the fact that she and her friend used LuLu's closet rod as a chin up bar and ripped one end right out of the drywall. I swear, keeping the house merely INTACT with four kids around is a chore.

* * *

Random thought:  you know, in the storm that heralded this cold spell's arrival the wind was so strong that it tore our front gate right off? I mean just shorn it off, like a grizzly bear had come and given it a good wallop. Crazy. One more thing to fix, like we needed that.

* * *
I took all the kids to pick up two kid-friendly digital cameras that were on clearance at a local store. I told them they couldn't use them until we fixed the sound on the computer, which is a crock. I'm hoping they actually forget about them long enough to pass them out for their birthdays.

Why would I take them along? Wasn't that counter-productive and foolish given that I was picking up gifts for them? Sure. But I was trying to buy good conduct time with my wife so that I could watch the game in peace.

* * *

At the store I also picked up some Littlest Pet Store pens that came with a tiny car that was RC controlled by a pair of buttons on the pen. Weird but true. Anyway, LuLu's worked great but YaYa's must have had a bum battery. Cue tears and fireworks from YaYa. Thankfully her sister volunteered to borrow her pen out for a few minutes to solve the dilemma.

Later LuLu runs into the dining room claiming her's had stopped working as well. .

"Arrgghhh! It's not working anymore and I don't like it. It's a stoopid car and I hate . . oh, nevermind. It's working", she said. She then smiled, turned, and walked out the door.

I laughed hard enough to not even correct her use of 'stupid' and 'hate', both of which are verbotten around here.

Tags: YaYa, LuLu, cold

Man that sucked

Well as you all know by now the Giants just defeated Green Bay in overtime, 23-20, to advance to the SuperBowl.

Congrats to them. I'll be rooting for them to defend the NFC and uproot the Patriots.

Frankly it's a shame either team had to advance to the big game after watching those last 30 minutes of regulation.

 I was impressed by the 1st half and dismayed in the 2nd. Once I realized that the Pack couldn't move the ball at all my gut said the game was lost. Fortunately for comedy fans the Giants seemed intent on watching the SuperBowl from home. Their errors kept the Pack in the game.

Pfftt. It was a helluva season and no regrets up to this point, but Shazam . . . the Giants tanked two field goals to get the game to OT and we still lost . .

I have to look on the bright side. For the first twenty-odd years of my life the Packers sucked. I remember lousy year after lousy year, so I should be grateful that I've had 15 years of greateness and managed to see the Pack back in the NFC Championship. Still . . .

I'm gonna feel this one in the morning.

* * *

In an early attempt to cheer up I just wanted to record my joy at the Donald Driver 90 yard dash-and-dodge for a TD in the 1st half, the fine defensive stand to end the 2nd, and the interception by  the Giants that turned into a fumble recovered for a Green Bay 1st down; all three plays had me on my feet screaming.

I think I'm going to go upstairs and tuck in my kids, who have put up with me watching the game for hours..

Man this sucks.

Tags: Green Bay, Packers, Favre, Giants

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Packer Prayer

I am not one of the millions of Wisconsinites who worhip the Green and Gold. I like the Packers and all, but I don't live and die by them; I don't even own any Packers clothing (gasp!).

Even so I'll be watching the NFC Championship game today and rooting just as hard as anyone in this state. I think we can take the Giants. It'll be rough going at times, but I think it'll get done. I'm looking forward to seeing the Ice Bowl II, with temperatures expected to start out at -7 degrees with wind chill factors much below that.

I'm also rooting for the Chargers to knock off the Pats, for too many reasons to mention.

Here's a take on the Lord's Prayer that's circulating on the net. Not my cup of tea, but cute none-the-less.

Our Favre,

Who art in Lambeau,

Hallowed be thine arm.

Thy bowl will come,

It will be won.

In Phoenix as it is in Lambeau.

And give us this Sunday,

Our weekly win.

And give us many touchdown passes

But do not let others pass against us.

Lead us not into frustration,

But deliver us to the valley of the sun.

For thine is the MVP, the best of the NFC,

and the gloryof the Cheeseheads,

now and forever.

Go get'em. Amen."

Go Pack!

Tags: Green Bay, Packers, Favre

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Update on Smiley

Last week Smiley also went back to the Ear/Nose/Throat doctor. This time his hearing turned up as normal in both ears (yea!), and that drainage I mentioned apparently means the tubes are doing their job.

The problem is the doc is discouraged by the lack of improvement in his speech and raised the idea of a neurological or developmental problem.

Long story short, a panel of 6 specialists will be evaluating him in the upcoming weeks, all predicated on our review of a packet of information that is now at least four days overdue in the mail.

I for one don't think there's something 'wrong'. I think the kid couldn't hear correctly for the longest time and is now just where, say, a baby would be at 8 months (to randomly choose an age).

Look, his screeching and ear-piercing screams are greatly diminished in number and volume, and he's begun to,well, babble. It sounds much like his baby sister's cooing and nonsensical sounds. So maybe it'll take awhile for him to catch up. That's still a long way from saying there's something misfiring in his neurons.

Evidence on my side:

1. He does have what seems like full comprehension of even complicated speech and directions.

2. He's always mimicked the cadence of speech. 'Thank you' is expressed in gibberish, but on sheet music it would follow the same line, if you follow my train of thought.

3. He has a vocabulary, albeit a very small one.

4. Since the surgery he has finally said 'Da Da'. UPDATE: this morning (the 17th) he gave me a hug before work and said 'Dada' loud and clear. This was the first unequivocal use of my name so I was ecstatic and asked him to say it again. He gave me that Smiley grin and said it all over again . . great moment!

Meanwhile he's getting a lot of well-intentioned but irritating attention from people. I am not in denial. If he has a problem, so be it.

But don't jump the gun and assume the worst.

* * *

By the way, with 25 minutes to spare, Happy 70th Birthday to Jaspare and Happy 32nd to Chris!

Tags: Smiley

AngelCakes Surgery

Last week, through the gracious use of Lisa's check, we had our cat AngelCakes spayed, declawed, and at my insistence microchipped.

She was gone for a day and returned last Friday. She got through it much better than Billy did. When he came back 10 years ago his paws were bloody and he walked like an old man for days. Angel seems to have had no lingering effects, I'm sure due to her youth, although she is a bit more lethargic of late.

When she came home Billy, for the first time ever, let her eat first. Usually she has to wait her turn, but this time it was right to the front of the line and he licked her back the whole time she ate.

That night it was straight back to sleeping in YaYa's room. In the pics above she's borrowing the baby's Bumbo seat. She also enjoys the baby swing.

She's been a great addition to our family and I'm glad the girls rescued her back in 2006.

Tags: AngelCakes

Roughly 1400 words of nothing in particular

60% of the work week gone - eyes on the prize baby. eyes on the prize.

It hasn’t been a bad week, actually, although it started out a little guilt-ridden . On the one week anniversary of being stranded with a dead car battery and being helped by a Good Samaritan, I was forced, by company policy to deny help to a customer asking for a jump, thereby earning me one more day in purgatory down the road.

Still, other than that it’s been prety good. Keeping the ol’ spirits up, keeping busy, enjoying my time at home to balance out work.

* * * *

I conducted an odd interview the other day. For those of you who don’t know, one of my Big Dreams was to travel the world as a vagabond after college, changing jobs every other week, getting into fights in Shanghai and falling in love in Stockholm. Didn’t happen, of course, seeing as I met my wife and settled down.

No regrets, mind you. But it turns out this candidate earned a history degree as I did, then traveled the world doing odd jobs, from being a cab driver to a bouncer to an English teacher and a deckhand. He is fond of the local library system (where I worked a number of years), can teach but doesn’t want to (ditto) and wants the job at hand in part just to have time to read and, you guessed it, write.

The other manager who sat in on the interview kept giggling. “It’s like he’s your soul mate,” she said later.

Eh, more like my Bizzaro World Mirror-Image Danny.

* * ** *

Memo to self: I bleeping hate typing in the dark, even as a ‘touch’ typist of 55wpm. It’s darn annoying, but the baby is sleeping in the swing behind me.

* * * *

I’m working on some new graphics to replace the outdated sidebar (man I hate that pic) and the ‘masthead’ I run at the start of each post.

* * * *

One bad thing about the Packers in the Championship game: seven long and tortuous days filled with Packer related this and that, from human interest stories to interviews with players to morons who make snow statues of their favorite players. Two stations have even extended their newscast each night by ten minutes for the duration of the week, thereby knocking out the HD version of the talk shows that are scheduled to run next.

Just watch the &@*# game

* * * *

Stolen Joke: What’s the difference between American Idol and the NFC Championship game?

Answer: American Idol is in Dallas this week.

I watched American Idol, as usual. Not overly exciting,. Weird to see a tamer Simon, but it does appear genuine. Thank goodness he’s finally mocking Paula over her inclination to constantly side with Randy.

Loved the Simon worshiper. Let’s face it, the whole night brought home the point that most folks respect Simon’s word far more than Randy or Paula’s.

That woman from Kelly Clarkson’s home town . . Yowzas. Shame her voice doesn’t match the look because I wouldn’t mind seeing her all season.

To the woman who went off about Simon for no reason, as he simply said she would best be served by singing in a band: he was right, and it wasn’t an insult. You have a good voice for a rock band.

Complaint: I am annoyed and bothered by the fact that AI spends entire 5 minute segments on people that are clearly mentally impaired. Not the kooks, mind you, or the freaks, but the honest to goodness Flowers for Algernon contestants. Poor taste and exploitive. Plenty of ‘normal’ losers to waste airspace on.

By the way, that Princess Leia contestant bothered me greatly. She wasn’t impaired, so she doesn’t fall under the above criticism, but she was obviously suffering from extremely low self esteem and self-loathing. Remember her first tear filled words to her Grandma when she left the audition? I paraphrase, but “They looked at me and just said dork, like always”

And earlier, when they were talking to her and she said that she didn’t find herself remotely attractive . . to me it was painfully obvious that the whole Star Wars/Leia thing was a way of explaining away a failure and salvaging some self esteem.

I used to do that a lot, sabotage my own efforts so that if I failed I could look back and disregard the loss by saying “Pff. It wasn’t like I tried my best. It’s not like the result counts”

It does, and that’s just a way of announcing to the world that you’re uncomfortable in your own skin.

It really bothered me. Sometimes I’m still the little kid who bawled after watching Dr. Detroit and wanted to deliver a bag of groceries to the homeless drunk who approaches Ackroyd in the movie.

And sometimes I feel like a heartless bum. Go figure.

* * * *

I have a shed in my backyard that I took apart and moved from a friends house late this fall. My friend graciously gave itto me for free provided he didn’t have to partake in the move or construction, but one of YaYa’s friend’s Dad lent me a hand. The frame was put back up, three sides went upand then you guessed it, it was on to the 4th or 5th snowiest December on record and the project sat untouched.

Now it’s in the 40’s, there’s no snow and I was gearing up to spend an off day this week working on it . .and the news says we can expect two inches of snow tomorrow followed by bitter cold.

Ain’t life grand?

* * * *

Enough of the Britney Spears coverage. She’s honestly going to kill herself and then the whole world will fall over itself looking to place blame, without bothering to look in the mirror.

Reporters followed her into church and yelled “Are you praying Britney?”. They followed her into church.

Leave her alone.

* * * *

Memo to parents-to-be: four year olds are, day in and day out, as much trouble ,and just as prone to emotional fireworks, as two, three, and five year olds combined.

Now that I mention it, 5 month olds, two year olds, and six year olds aren't a piece of cake either.

* * * * *

I had the misfortune of sitting in a meeting this past week and listening to a local recall-the-elected officials group speak at the request of the board. The speaker was charismatic but very loud and aggressive. Nothing was said that was out of line (save for the fact that I believe this to be a democracy, and if I person in office sucks vote him out, don’t talk to me about a recall ) but the whole atmosphere of desperation and anger in the audience. . Shiver. Not for me, thanks.

* * *

Watched Alvin and the Chipmunks and dang near peed my pants at times. The kids were flat-out laughing out loud too. Unexpectedly a lot of fun.

Wish I could say the same for Eastern Promises. Boring, boring, boring, and excessively violent.

The Sarah Connor Chronicles was very entertaining and well written. Even Lisa liked it. I wonder how long it is until Terminator fatigue sets in though. I mean really, I’m already adding up the ‘bots and wondering how Skynet or John Connor found any time to fight a war with all the tinkering and tampering with time travel. Just between the three movies five cyborgs and one human were sent back in time. In just one episode of the show we’ve seen three cyborgs and four humans that traveled, and presumably at least a few more stuck back in 1963.

If you have time for plans that intricate, shouldn’t you have time to think of a way to stop the whole madness? And if Skynet succeeds, how do they ever know that they need to go back in time to kill Connors? Likewise, if Connors succeeds in stopping Judgment Day, his father never goes back in time to conceive him.

Lose lose in logic land, no?

Alright, onto my preferences in the primaries.

Alright, onto my preferences in the primaries.

I’ll start with the opposition. If I were a Democrat, or an independent figuring to vote blue this year, I’d have to be an idiot not to vote for Hilary Clinton.

I’m no great fan of the woman. but there’s an awful lot of pluses, provided you agree with her philosophical bent. She’s intelligent, she’s watched/advised/finagled the running of both a state and this nation at the executive level, and she’s got nearly a decade of experience as a U.S. Senator.

Sadly she fulfills many of the male-generated stereotypes of a woman of power. Like her or hate her, you have to admit she has all the genuine warmth of a iced brewed Coors Light. More importantly I’d bet good money she hasn’t made a decision in decades without rapidly checking and rechecking polling numbers. She tries to be everything to everyone and I think in the Oval Office that would cripple her, but she’s the best of the Democratic field. She’s a viable candidate with a chance at winning it all.

Edwards? Please. Some great human interest stories, but nothing of value to the voter.

Obama . . Ah, the great unknown. I’m glad Oprah likes him and all, but I’d rather my country was run by someone with more than three years of experience on the national level (and none in an executive position). I don’t like the contradictory and weak positions he’s taken on defense - calling for discussions with Syria and Iran for example - and mandatory timetables for pulling out of Iraq (comments which I understand he denies making but seem rather clear-cut). I don’t like his calls for socializing medicine on the national level, and I don’t like the fact that a man who wants to be President of this land doesn’t have the time or inclination to act proper during the Pledge of Allegiance.

I believe Obama is nothing more than a Jimmy Carter redux , this time disguised as the handsome and eloquent JFK. People are blinded by the flash and if we are to be honest, so blinded by the prospect of a popular African-American candidate that the shallowness of his candidacy isn‘t addressed. I sincerely worry that an Obama presidency places our country at risk, both domestically and abroad.

On the Republican side I am in awe of the comedic potential here. You have a TV actor (Thompson), a frequent host of Saturday Night Live (Guilianni), and two folks with downright silly names - Huckabee (it always makes me think of Huck Finn) and Mitt Romney.

If the Democratic side is regrettably boiling down to a split on racial lines, the GOP has a clear ideological gap. One group aiming to secure the conservative base, another trying for the middle of the road. Whoever wins over both takes the nomination - if that happens. Otherwise, it’s a dogfight until the convention.

On the conservative end, Huckabee is the GOP version of Howard Dean. I’m all for Christianity, and referencing Jesus in a speech doesn’t bother me, but to confuse the podium with a pulpit time and time again is irksome. It shouldn’t matter who he thinks will or will not get into heaven - as a preacher, he jokes that he doesn’t even believe all Baptists will get in - but at some point I want to know that you have more to offer than advice for my soul.

And from a practical point of view, how will his message carry with folks that aren’t Christian conservatives?

McCain is certainly popular, and I can envision him on the ballot in November, but I think his ship has sailed. Three reasons:

His age, like it or not, is an issue. He’ll be 72 on election day and all of 80 should he win two terms.

He’s been in Washington a long time. I’m not alleging one man can change the world, but it’s hard to argue that he’s a dynamo of action and progress if he’s been part of the game so darn long.

And third - and I justifiably will take some hits on this point - I have always felt that he left something behind in Hanoi. I don’t think you can survive hell like that and come away unscathed. I worry that if we come upon another Iranian hostage situation, McCain may not react with the necessary restraint.

I know, I know. Even I think I’m probably wrong on that score, but I haven’t been able to shake the feeling since ‘00.

I like Giuliani. I don’t care if he’s a ‘good’ Catholic or bad. I don’t care if he’s had three wives or eight, and I could care less if he pissed off the NY fire department. He’s a likeable guy. He was a good prosecutor, he was a damn shaman as a mayor, and he did a masterful job in the wake of 9/11. Will he make it in the primaries? Probably not. But I like him as a Vice-President.

I like Fred Thompson on an elemental level - he physically brings to mind my paternal Grandfather - and he’s been around a long time, having taken part in the Watergate hearings. After reviewing his positions I can’t find many that don’t jive with my own to some degree, although he tilts more to the right. Right now he’s not looking very feasible as the nominee, but I have a friend who’s convinced this a strategy to take advantage of early voter burnout . . Hmm. We’ll see.

Last but certainly not least is the man I have decided to support for the nomination, Mitt Romney.

Romney is pretty much everything I wouldn’t normally be drawn to; the former Governor of Massachusetts, of all places, a pretty boy with a reputation for being a bit stiff and awkward and politically disingenuous.

So why do I like him?

First and foremost I watched the speech he regrettably had to make defending his Mormon faith A bit too Huckabee-ish in spots, but all in all a powerful and articulate refutation of his critics. He won a lot of favor with me that day [subconsciously it ddint’ hurt that George H.W. Bush introduced him (the speech was at his library) as the old man continues to hold sway over me]

Aside from that I like that fact that he has business experience, successfully turning around a company without resorting to layoffs. I like that he stepped into the mess that was the 2002 Salt Lake City Olympics and cleaned up the scandal and bribery ridden event, in the end netting a profit.

I like that he gave Ted Kennedy a run for his money during a failed Senate run - and I like that he failed. Great men learn from failure.

I love the fact that a Republican took the Governorship of Massachusetts, even if he was forced to compromise on several issues when facing a tough legislature and a liberal judiciary. He still stuck to the roots of his philosophy, and I applaud him for that.

Romney’s positions have grown closer to the party line as he searched for the nomination. Some would view this as opportunistic political flip-flopping, Clinton style. Perhaps. He says that he has simply learned from experience; I say he is representing the wishes of his prospective constituents, just as he represented their (more liberal) wishes in his home state.

I agree with most of his platform as it currently stands, even if I don’t see an end to the estate tax in sight and doubt that taxes can be kept in check another decade, especially with a Democratic congress.

In short I like the guy, I like his stances, I like his political guts when it came to that speech, and I think he canwin it all.

My choice for the GOP nomination: Mitt Romney.

My ideal VP: Giuliani, although the party line would say that it’s a one-two punch that’s too much to the left to win the essential support of the conservative base.

Should Romney take the nomination, look for a dark horse VP or someone like Thompson.

That’s my take on the primaries.

Tags: Politics, 2008 election

RBI Production Average

I spend a lot of time over at BTF, a site devoted to following current baseball events and the statistical study of the game.

While I enjoy most of the humor in the comments section (of BTF) and I admire much of the commentary, there are a few character flaws that seem mandatory for admission to the site.

A typical BTF user must:

1.Despise all professional baseball writers, ridiculing their logic, their style and their profession whenever possible.

2. Bud Selig, Dusty Baker, Steve Garvey, Tommy Lasorda, and Juan Pierre are to hated without question. Garvey more than others.

3. The Bush/Reagan/Nixon/(fill in Republican here) administration must be used, if at all possible, in a negative connotation completely irrelevant to the issue at hand

4. ‘Counting’ stats such as hits, wins, RBI”s, etc. are devalued in the face of saber metric measures such as OPS, ERA+, and others.

Now understand I’m just poking fun, because I do have a lot of fun on the site even if it grows tedious at times in its ‘snarkiness‘. It’s a damn fine place to visit and nary a day goes by without a looksie.

I’m bringing all this up because a recent article on the site resurrected the BTF’s semi-dismissal of the RBI as a worthwhile statistic.

RBI, or Runs Batted In, refers to a run driven in by a batter, generally but not exclusively via a hit.

The crux of the argument is that RBI is an overvalued statistic because it is dependent upon the actions of the batters in front of you in the lineup. You aren’t going to drive in a man from third, for example, if there’s no one standing there in the first place.

Or to paraphrase one reader “So you’re saying that some guy hit’s a leadoff double. The next batter hit’s a single but the runner holds on third. Then a guy hits a rinky-dink sacrifice fly to drive in the run and he deserves more kudos than the other two hitters?”

Well, yes and no. The bloke with the leadoff double gets credit for a Run, after all, but neither of the first two hits amount to jack without the RBI hit.

[and if you press the point, create a statistical category of ‘offensive assist’ for the guy who moved the runner over with the single]

Hey, I don’t pretend that RBI’s are the be-all and end-all of batting. Plenty of blockheads have crossed the coveted 100 RBI plateau ina season and been average or lucky players. But if you have a guy hit 100 RBI’s for five or six seasons in a row, or lead the league three years out of four, it ain’t all luck. Like it or not, the man has a genuine knack for productive hitting.

But how do you measure this, aside from the pure ’counting’ method? As I said, not all RBI’s are equal, and to some extent they are dependent upon the team as a whole.

So here’s my idea. [You’ll have to forgive me if I falter at points, having no knack for math and a mere semester of statistics a decade ago. Ditto if someone has (probably inevitably) come up with the same idea in a more professional or accommodating package, as I haven’t done any research outside of my balding skull. ]

If we were to simply compile a running average of how many RBI’s a batter produces related to the total number of RBI chances he’s given, wouldn’t that do the trick?

Let's call it, if only for today, the RBI Production Average. Here goes:

Each batter has a chance for an RBI with every plate appearance, as a solo home run produces one RBI. So if he fails to drive himself in, be it by striking out or ‘merely’ singling, he is 0/1.

Likewise, if the bases are loaded and no one scores, he is 0/4.

I would imagine, without crunching any hard numbers, that even a great150 RBI man would produce no better than a .200 average, assuming 600 plate appearances and a 1.25 chances/PA on a good team.

Meanwhile, if the same 150 RBI’s are produced in 600 PA’s, but the team is stocked with studs and the chances/PA rises to 1.5, that very same batter sits at a .166 average.

Should a batter produce 85 RBI’s in 450 plate appearances, with a 1.10 chances/PA he knocks down a .171 average.

So that 85 RBI guy is statistically more valuable than the 150 RBI batter in the second example.

Cons?

Well, the system is naturally skewed against punch-and-Judy hitters whose chances at a solo home run are slim, but frankly that’s the whole point of the discussion.

The system is also general in that it lumps RBI opportunities together. It’s easier to knock a guy in from third than from first or hit that solo homer, but that isn’t made clear in my ‘formula’.

So we should weight the formula so that you get more credit for driving the runner in from first . .or should we throw the balance the other way, as we should anticipate/demand the production of more RBI’s if a runner is on 2nd or 3rd to start?

For now I concede the point but offer no solution; if the idea is worthy I’m happy to hear a more adept mathematician work some magic.

Maybe this is all junk thought, and not worth the time spent at the keyboard. But . . .

The RBI as it’s understood right now is a ‘glam’ stat, honored and glorified but never put fully into context. I think my idea, or one like it, might just rectify that problem without reducing any of the statistics glamour or prestige.

Tags: baseball,

The Giants win the pennant . . er, the Divisional Playoff!

Hot Dog!

The Giants win, knocking the Cowboys out of the playoffs. As much as I might worry about a strong New York team and a maturing Eli Manning, I'd much rather play the Giants at Lambeau than the dreaded Cowboys on their home turf.

Whooohoo!

And in the AFC, SD stuns Indy . . I would have preferred an Indy win as I think they had a better shot against the Pats - and I think it vital the Patriots NOT make the SuperBowl with Green Bay on a roll.

To All AOL Journalers

My names Dan, aka Slapinions, and I'd like your help in pushing AOL to create a means of permanently saving and printing the contents of our journals.

It only makes sense. For most of us our journals are records of our lives, our thoughts, our successes and failures. Although it was by accident and not design, my journal has taken the place of our old scrapbooks. I've used mine to record the birth of two of my children. My son's entire life to date is online, and so is my oldest's first day of school, my second daughter's Christmas program, and more.  

 I've wrote about the death of a family friend and my Grandmother, eulogized my heroes, denounced wrongs, goofed around, and rambled about current events.

In theory, someday I'd like my grandchildren and their children to read a bit of the blog to know just what Great-Grandpa was really like.

It's important to me dang it, and I've grown to love this tiny little bit of cyberspace.

So what happens if AOL glitches out and loses the blog? What happens if they decide to abandon Journals altogether? What if my charming personality offends the wrong person and the journal or screename goes zap?

So here is what I propose: come up with a means of permanently saving each entry in a printable format. Nothing fancy, just keep the basic 'look' of each journal and ensure that all text and non-animated graphics remain intact.

Give us a means of saving the journal as a whole in this format, and/or allow us 'printable' individual entries.

That's it.

Sure it's a free service, but they slap that ad on top of our sites don't they? Every page view your journal receives earns AOL another $ in advertising revenue. The least they could do is waste a few programming hours on giving us what we want.

If you agree, leave a comment. As far as I'm concerned your comment is a 'signature' on this makeshift petition to AOL.

Thanks and good luck,

Dan

Tags: blogplugs, AOL, print journals, save journals

Buddy Holly's Widow is at it Again

Maria Holly, the wife of Buddy Holly for mere months before his untimely death 49 years ago, is suing to prevent the publication of a memoir by Peggy Sue Gerron, the woman "Peggy Sue" was named after.

Maria Elena Holly says Peggy Sue Gerron's "Whatever Happened to Peggy Sue?" is unauthorized and will harm her late husband's name, her own reputation and that of her company, Holly Properties. . .

"Confusion and tarnishment of Buddy Holly's name and Ms. Holly's reputation are likely to result from this unauthorized book," the letter states.

It demands the ceasing of promotion and sale of the book, removal of the subtitle and cancellation of all book orders. It also asks for refunds on any deposits for the book and for an accounting of revenues from any sales.

Uh, sure. Listen, it's swell that you managed to turn a few months in the sack into a 50 year gravy train, but enough is enough. No one on earth believes that marriage would've lasted, and if it was destined to be forever, why the obsessive greed over his work?

You tried to make the city of Lubbock PAY you for holding a day honoring their native son (did you succeed? I don't remember). Wouldn't you want your husband honored by his home town? Then again you allegedly screwed  Buddy's parents and family over the years.

I don't know the woman but nothing I've heard or read in the 21 years I've been a Holly fan lead me to any conclusion but that she's Courtney Love version 1.0.

Let the man's memory live on, and let the poor woman publish her diary.

Tags: Buddy Holly

MLB Obscenity Document - LANGUAGE WARNING

 I warn you: this is not for sensistive ears and not for kids.

This is a link to a document offered by an auction house (Robert Edwards). It's an official 1898 Major League Baseball document warning players to clean up their speech on the field and listing - in plain blue language - examples of it's abuse.

"You ***** eating b*****d"

"Go **** yourself"

"I'll make you suck your ***"

"A dog must have ****** your mother when she made you"

etc.

The document purports that such language was openly and intentionally spoken within the earshot of ladies in the stands.

The words comes as no real suprise to me given the rough and tumble nature of baseball at the close of the 19th century (McGraw's Orioles anyone?) but it's shocking that the league would put such things in print.

Even they must have known it was a shocker: the bottom of the document reads "Unmailable - must be forwarded by express"

Packers 42 Seattle 20 and Much Misc.

Without question today's Packer victory was one of the most memorable Packer games I've ever seen.

It starts off on a clean field free of snow.

It starts with Ryan Grant, the Pack's running back, fumbling twice.

It starts with Seattle scoring a TD off of each fumble.

Then, so unlike the Favre of ten or even five years ago, the old man approached a14-0 deficit with the calm of a seasoned Zen master.

And so . .

It ends in a blizzard with the field covered in slush.

It ends with that very same Ryan Grant rushing for 201 yars and 3 TD's.

It ends with Seattle flying home with yet another road playoff defeat.

Man, it was great.

Two wonderful images: Brett Favre tossing a snowball on the field and Holmgren and Hassleback losing their cool to the officials over perceived 'holds'.

And a great play: Favre nearly sacked on a 3rd and 6, leaving the pocket and stumbling, barely able to keep his balance. Right before it seems like he'll fall over he tosses a quick little shovel pass for the 1st down. How great was it to see his own joy over the play!

A thing of beauty - if it's on YouTube I'll post it here. Update: here ya go!

 

And now, the first NFC Championship game for the Pack in ten years!

* * * *

I picked up an incredibly obnoxious 56" flatscreen HDTV in December (2nd hand) and while I regretted the purchase for a few days, I've grown to love the thing with all my dear little heart. The wife hates it - to be sure, it is too large for our smallish living room and clashes with the decor - but ah, the view!

Note the "we've got jobs at the supermarket" episode of the Suite Life of Zack and Cody. We continue to measure time here in 'Zack and Cody's'.

A half hour wait is one 'Zack and Cody' whereas if it's two hours until bedtime it's 'four Zack and Cody's'.

Not a bad show by the way. I enjoy it. Beef it up a bit to be less Gilligan's Island-ish and it could run on network TV, IMHO.

Love 'The Meanager' nickname for Mr. Moseby, the hotel manager.

* * * *

Quote of the Day: LuLu and Smiley watched some of the game with me, with Lu asking some questions, probably more because she was bored than actually interested.

When the usual Fox graphics appeared she momentarily wigged out.

"I'm scared of foxes!" she said.

A) no she's not, far as I know and B) I think it was all a plain acting job designed for her to look cute.

It worked :)

* * *

I gave the kids a good dinner tonight and I am overly proud. Baked all-white chicken nuggetts and fries, not the healthiest granted, but a side salad , glass of milk, and a clementine too.

[I even got them to brush their teeth, which Lu hates. (tho' she's never had a cavity, and brushing fan YaYa's had a few]

Lu loves salad, and always has, so that's no big deal. Smiley's picking up the habit, and good for him.

From Day One Lisa always said that even if we adults eat pure cra*  the kids should have a vegetable and fruit at every single meal. (with veggies NOT being defined as corn or peas). Even our McDonald's Happy Meals are ordered with Apple Dippers in place of fries 90% of the time.

Our private quote: "if they wanna be fat, they can do it on their own after 18, but not on our watch"

* * * *

A little alarmed today: I received a big notice from my student loan saying I would soon (and I mean VERY soon) be in default because I 'failed' to provide requested income data.

A) I signed a form allowing them to pull the info from the IRS months back, only to have them claim the IRS was unable to find records. Last I checked I'm not a migrant worker and my checks are gouged by the government, so there should be records. But .

B) in response I signed, and my wife co-signed, another document purporting to fufill this requirement. For whatever reason, despite the fact I personally stamped and mailed this, they are acting like I've been dodging them.

All this is crazy, as a payment isn't even DUE, much less defaulted on, but allegedly I get this 3rd round of paperwork in their hands by next week or cut them a check for roughly 1/3 the total cost of my home.

Note they only pull sh(t like this around the time of your income tax, so they can make you dance and sully yourself in fear of having that return garnished . .

Ugh. Life is hard.

* * *

My first documented attempt to better myself and keep my 2008 resolutions: I was a pure ass to the deli counter guy this past Thursday. I mean, I wasn't overtly mean, but I had an edge about me and I gave him a glare or two and walked away feeling a little dirty.

So today I took LuLu there [pardon the interruption, but it wassample day: she got ice cream, chocolate milk, granola bars, and pizza. Saved me from buying her lunch]. I went up to the deli counter and apologized, half thinking he wouldn't even remember me.

Well, I must have made quite the impression because he cheerfully wrote off part of my actions on account of 'work calling you a few times while you were ordering."

You know what? Until that moment I didn't even remember that work had called me.

How big of an ass had I been for him to remember that?

But at least I made the effort to make amends and my conscience is clear.

aoljembedAdd, aoljembedAdd_1

On Baseball this fine January morn

The 2008 Hall of Fame results came out last week, and it's a mixed bag for me. The writers kept with the 'small Hall' concept by electing only Goose Gossage, but they also snubbed my candidates while nearly enshrining Rice and Dawson.

Here's the complete results:

2008 Election

543 ballots cast, 408 votes needed for election.

Players must receive 75.0% of the vote or higher to be elected.

Name	Votes	PCT
Gossage, Rich	466	85.8%
Rice, Jim	392	72.2%
Dawson, Andre	358	65.9%
Blyleven, Bert	336	61.9%
Smith, Lee	235	43.3%
Morris, Jack	233	42.9%
John, Tommy	158	29.1%
Raines, Tim	132	24.3%
McGwire, Mark	128	23.6%
Trammell, Alan	99	18.2%
Concepcion, Dave	88	16.2%
Mattingly, Don	86	15.8%
Parker, Dave	82	15.1%
Murphy, Dale	75	13.8%
Baines, Harold	28	5.2%
Beck, Rod	2	0.4%
Fryman, Travis	2	0.4%
Nen, Robb	2	0.4%
Dunston, Shawon	1	0.2%
Finley, Chuck	1	0.2%
Justice, David	1	0.2%
Knoblauch, Chuck	1	0.2%
Stottlemyre, Todd	1	0.2%
Anderson, Brady	0	0.0%
Rijo, Jose	0	0.0%

Having grown up in the '80's and converted to fandom in '91-92, I have no built in bias against 'failed starters', aka relief pitchers. So I'm fine with Gossage, but that 43% of the vote for Lee Smith floors me. The man held the all-time saves record for a minute and even then wasn't considered a dominant closer. That and the votes for the ever-bitter Jack Morris are a waste of time and resources. Spread the votes elsewhere.

{memo to all ex-players who spend eons fighting to get in the Hall. A) if it's that all-consuming to you, maybe you should get a life and B) if you have to fight that hard for enshrinement, chances are you don't belong there in the first place}

Rice and Dawson seem a sure bet to get in next year. They aren't the smartest choices for the Hall but they're not the worst of all time. It never hurts to have a 'name' player in the Hall I guess.

[I still hope Rickey Henderson goes in solo next year]

Meanwhile Trammell, Raines, and McGwire got no love from the writers. What a world.

* * * *

RE: Clemens . . guilty. Shut up and take the heat. Quit trying to bully the witness into submission with your money and your rep.

* * * *

The Brewers have signed Mike Cameron to play in center. Cameron, a solid glove and decent bat, should be a decent addition to the Miller Park outfield (once he gets past a mandatory 25 game drug suspension to open the year).

That will probably move Bill Hall to third and Ryan Braun to left and give the Brewers an average defense across the board - which with their bats should be a great advantage.

That said, if I was Bill Hall I'd be steaming mad. He's been shuffled around more than a deck of cards in a casino. Always the team player, he's done it without (publicly) complaining . . but does he have any love left for the organization at all?

* * *

Oh man, this next thing reeks of my Dad's quirky stat-geekiness, BUT . . . I'd like to start following Asian baseball (Japan/Korea/Taiwan) hard core this year, at least to the point where I know the stars and what teams are kicking butt.

Oh man am I a dork.

I'm hoping sites like JapanBaseball.com and East Windup Chronicle help on this score.

[great article on the myth of Japanese stadiums being bandboxes: read ithere]

Unrelated to my interest but of note anyway, former Brewers manager Jerry Royster is now the first foreign born manager of a Korean team. Read about it here.

 

Eek - a brief return to politics

When I was a kid my Mom bought a copy of Garrison Keillor’s Lake Wobegon Days. I never read past the introduction, but something Keillor wrote made an impression on me. He once lost a briefcase full of stories and ideas, never to be seen again, and no matter how he tried he could never reproduce them.

The idea horrified me - after all, I still have some of my own kindergarten worksheets. But sometime in the last five years I suffered the same disaster. Many of my columns on the 2000 election and the events of 9/11 are gone, goodness knows where, lost in one of our moves.

Maybe they were junk better left unread, but I think there’s one post 9/11 piece in particular that deserved to see the light of day.

The point of all this is that I once had a column that explained exactly what I’m going to try to say again today. Maybe I did it better five years ago, maybe not. But hopefully it explains one of my wife’s mythical “Four Statements that Would Cause my Friends to Hate You”.

This one came when she asked who I liked for the election in November.

“Doesn’t matter,” I said. “I’ll vote for whoever has a (R) next to their name. I always vote a straight ticket.”

Yes, Virginia, it’s true. Whenever possible, and without the slightest hesitation, I vote a straight Republican ticket.

Exceptions? Sure. Milwaukee’s a Democratic stronghold and sometimes, unless I want to sit home, I have to choose between Democrat A and Democrat B. There’s also plenty of unchallenged, one candidate races. I can’t leave it blank, so booyah, there’s my vote.

And yes, if a legitimate kook - not as defined by the liberals or mainstream media but a God’s honest sociopath – was in the running, I’d vote the other way. Ditto for a few personalities; I’d have passed on Pat Robertson and Pat Buchanan.

You see, it’s not about some blind allegiance or absolute faith in a platform, it’s about the practical application of political power and the defense of your rights. I learned this lesson from watching the Florida debacle of ’00.

Put aside your personal view of who won/lost Florida, who you yourself voted for, or any emotions about the chaos at the tail end of ’00. What’s relevant to this discussion is the fact that at every turn, at each and every pivotal moment of that month-long argument, it wasmembers of the party, in most cases very minor figures, who safeguarded your rights.

The idea worked for both parties: certainly low-level Democrats were instrumental in announcing the existence of what they believed to be vote count errors, they pushed ahead with numerous recounts (above and beyond what I viewed as reasonable or legal) and taking the long view each and every Florida Supreme Court judge, instrumental in the case, had been appointed by a Democrat. Because those mechanisms were in place defeat was forestalled by more than a month.

[From my personal point-of view these were attacks not only on the validity of the 2000 election, but a dangerous attempt to pre-empt the democratic process. I remember seeing it as a slippery slope that, regardless of the outcome, would lead to years of dissension, mistrust, and bitter and irrational hatred of the winning administration.

Thank heavens that prediction didn’t come to pass, eh?]

On the other side of the coin it was low level Republicans who fought tooth and nail to thwart what they saw as an attack on the electoral college, the voting public, and George W Bush.

It was these folks who provided much needed speed-bumps in the midst of a media storm fascinated with recounts. It was a minor figure in a normally blasé position, Katherine Harris, that stood fast in obeying the letter of the law, calls for her head be damned.

(You don’t think a State Secretary of State is a minor position? Go ahead – name the one in your state. Thought so.)

It was a former Republican Cabinet member who led the legal fight, and a Supreme Court largely appointed by Republican’s who ended the madness.

Without those minor players in Florida the Democrats would have steamrolled recount after recount until the outcome matched what they wanted because with emotions running high, their belief in their Gore’s victory absolute and no one to raise a red flag and stop them, why wouldn’t they?

To me, saying ‘X’ or “Y’ office is a throwaway, something that isn’t worth fighting for or defending, is madness. It’s akin to walking into court without a lawyer, taking a road trip without your mobile phone, or willingly dismissing your constitutional rights.

At the risk of sounding like someone who watched Red Dawn once too often, at some point in the future everything will once again depend on having allies in place. When that moment comes, you better hope they’re there waiting.

Concerned that a straight ticket leaves no wiggle room, no means of checks and balances against producing stagnant or poor leadership? Then get involved in the party. Make sure it understands your views and what’s important to you, and keep it centered -but fluid and willing to change.

Don’t like a candidate? Then fight tooth and nail against him in the primary – that’s what the process is for isn’t it?

Squeamish at the idea of a one-party monopoly? You should be - but it will never come to pass. Lean too far to one party and the country reflexively moves the other way. There will always be members of the other party in office, and that’s good – competition is healthy.

So most of the time I vote for the person with an (R) next to their name. Maybe my wife’s right and that will cost us some friends.

Then again, I have a buddy who would rather vote for the corpse of Lenin than any Republican, the Socialist pig, and neither of our stances has hurt our friendship.

Next up - my choices for the 2008 primaries.

Tags: politics

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Monday

Today was an odd day. There were intense thunderstorms all day and a big scheduling conflict. LuLu was due at dance class in the boonies at 5:15, while YaYa had an audition workshop for Fiddler on the Roof at just about the same time.

I dropped Lis and YaYa off in the midst of a severe hailstorm then headed out through the occasional flooded street to dance class.

While Lu was dancing Smiley, Lauren and I hung out in the van, listening to a kids tape and whiling away the hour.

The only problem - when dance class ended, the car wouldn't start. I'd left the key in 'on' and wore out the battery. Dumb.

Of course the kids started to wig out and no one in the parking lot had jumper cables. You'd have thougth I was asking for a handout with the way people avoided eye contact. Yikes. Finally one woman, the previously unknown Betsy, offered a jump.

Slight comedic moment: for some reason her hood didn't have a pole to prop it up, and she was very worried the jump would prove disasterous because of this.

 So here I am with the hood propped by hand, screaming kids in the van, the only light my 'low battery' phone, and a drizzle coming down.

And the phone WOULD NOT STOP RINGING. It rang 3 or 4 times as I was hooking up the cables.

"Just don't answer it!," she said annoyed.

"I can't," I said, "I have another kid waiting on X Street" I said, with X being the not so great area where the theater was located.

So the jump works and she says "God Bless You Dan!"

"Bless me? You're the Good Samaritan, you're the one who stopped to help me, not the other way around," I said.

Seems like she was so concerned about the jump going haywire that the sucess was as much a victory for her as for me.

* * *

Lu, btw, performed admirably in her class. Smiley and I caught a glimpse of her. When her class was dismissed he gave her a sincere round of applause.

Oh, he also said 'van' today - clear as day and more than once.

YaYa came back with a dance routine to get down and some lyrics to learn. The audition is later this week. Wish her luck!

* * *

P*** on Ohio State for losing another championship game. Suck it up and don't make a fool of yourself on national TV. You represent the Big Ten, you &%^(*.