:eye roll:

Just got back from a brisk 30 minute bike ride with YaYa, then practiced some hitting. After all that when I went on the computer (robbing her of her precious Club Penguin) she spazzed out and said she hated her bike and baseball too. Jeez kid, learn to cope.

Smooth Criminal

I'm posting this video for one reason only: for the duration of my shift at work today, the ENTIRE shift, this song was in 'repeat' mode in my head. It was insane how many times I caught myself humming it, tapping my fingers to it, and just plain listening to it play in my teeny tiny brain.

This is my attempt to exorcise it from my head in time to get some sleep.

(but be sure to check out the wicked dance move at 7:15, the famous extreme lean forward that seems vaguely superhuman)

Who's playing Summerfest - Tuesday June 30th

There's a variety of talented artists headlining Summerfest today, but the selection of Chicago with Earth Wind & Fire at the Marcus Amphitheater strikes me as a weak draw. I could be wrong. I have nothing bad to say about Chicago. I think they're OK, and my sister C was always a big fan. EWF isn't my cup of tea, but my buddy Carlos likes them enough to crank them on his stereo on the way to Brewers games. So who knows, maybe they'll bring down the house.

Of the headliners I'd pick from one of two: blues great Buddy Guy, who's supposedly better in person than on vinyl, or Staind, a grunge-ish band that I could swear I saw in '99 or 2000. For those of you just as wrapped up in the music of your youth as I am, but who place that ear just a wee bit earlier in the 20th century, check out Joan Jett and the Blackhearts.

LuLu's Quote of the Day

LuLu had a blast at her first day of summer school and came home happy and upbeat, saying she "loved it". I asked her what she did in class.

"Well, the first thing I did was sit around in a circle and learn everybody's name. The second thing I did was forget them all, and then . . ."

Do you know what newpaper Jim Doyle wanted as the paper of record for Wisconsin? I bet you'll never guess.

I swear to God, it isn't even partisan at this point. I think Gov. Jim Doyle, who is a Democrat (but who would run as a Bull Moose if it would secure an election), is just out and out daffy.

Say what you will about my hometown Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel. Call it a waste of trees, a front for the Democratic party, or as it's commonly called, even by employees: The Urinal.

But it *is* the major newpaper of Southeastern Wisconsin, aka the largest population area in the state. It has distribution throughout Wisconsin and across the state line, and by some feat of bribery or sorcery even has a recent Pulitzer to its credit. And again to their credit, they've actually gone on record as questioning some of Doyle's odd budget decisions.

So what does Jim Doyle attempt to do in his new budget? He selects a new paper of record for all official state notices in the Milwaukee area. He chooses . . .

The Milwaukee Shepherd Express.

Yes, you read that right Wisconsinites. Doyle wanted the Shepherd, which is owned by former Democratic State Assembly member Lou Fortis, to beneift from being the official paper of record in the ara. To do so the law would be changed to eliminate those pesky requirements about circulation and geographic distribution areas.

You know: the laws that would object to a low circulation free weekly newspaper, one that's proudly and loudly left of center and known almost exclusively for music reviews, one whose readership is 95% college students and East side pot dealers, from securing exclusive state business. Those laws.

Now I guess none of this will happen, as his opponents seized on the ludicrous notion. He vetoed it this very morning ((p. 43, C1). But if it hadn't been noticed, if no one had cared, all state notices would have flowed through the hands of a staunch Democratic ally of Doyle. Nice.

h/t BadgerBlogger

House Hunters

'House Hunters' is on in the background. A young couple (early 20's) are spending Daddy's $$ on their first house and (eek!) the girl is upset that the indoor pool doesn't have its own waterfall, and that the floors are mahogany and not carpet. Poor baby.

My Day with LuLu

Today (Monday) LuLu begins summer school. Lisa and I both felt - as did her teacher - that her reading ability was below where it should be (in fact nearly non-existent).. She's actually excited about it, because her self-esteem has taken a big wupping over this issue. Keep in mind, as my Mom said in her defence, when I was growing up we didn't even start reading until 1st grade.

True, but as my Dad countered, it's a different world now. If the kids going into first grade are reading, LuLu needs to be too.

Anyhow, I'd taken her to the doc on Friday for a hacking cough that the pediatrician labeled a 'bad summer cold' and then prescribed antibiotics and bedrest. That doesn't make any sense, but ok. So she's laid low for the weekend. Last night this meant she and I hunkered down to watch Disney's Princess Protection Program together, which turned out to be an ok movie.

Today it was just me, Ginger and Lu at the house, with everyone else scattered here and there. I got it into my head to do some yard work, which was kind of a pain with a 22 month old running around trying to join in the fun. So I sent Lu downstairs to recover an old friend I'd recovered from the flooded basement. Ladies and gentlemen, the hardcore baby backback by Evenflo - the "Trailtech".

Back in the day I remember taking Smiley for a walk in this when he was as old as Ginger and about twice as heavy, and I tossed LuLu in it once a year or so ago before abandoning it to the basement. It was good to have it back.

Once I got the belts all connected, I took out the old push reel mower and did a patch of yard behind our fence, and the front yard. LuLu wanted to help, and I let her use a pair of garden shears to trim the yards edge. Normally I'd use the weed-whacker, but I was out of cord.

After that we emptied and cleaned out the shed, then loaded it all back in in a somewhat organized fashion. I also checked the mouse bait stations I'd left out over the winter, and while one was untouched the other was empty. Little buggers. We had a mouse in our cellar area when we moved in, and I am very aggressive in preventing that from happening again. Ugh.

Anyway, I noticed that LuLu was choosing to ride around on a very old bike of hers, one with training wheels. Somehow I convinced her to try a bigger bike without the training wheels, and while she was nervous she agreed.



So up and down the block we went. She never made it on her own, but there were a few times I'd let go and she'd do fine for a yard or two before panicking and tipping to the side. It was far more tiring than I thought it would be, and I'd have given up after ten minutes but LuLu was gung-ho. The only thing that stopped her in the end was an unfortunate flat tire.

Once we put the bike away I heard the siren call of an ice cream truck and flagged it down, buying a snow cone for LuLu. You could tell on her face that she'd had a great day, and as she was heading off to bed she came up to me and thanked me for everything.

My pleasure LuLu, my pleasure.

Who's playing Summerfest - Monday June 29th

Not a great lineup today, IMHO. I liked Heart for a minute back in the '80's, and I still dig some of their music. But the partisan side of me is still nursing a grudge over their objection to the use of Barracuda in the last election. Not that it would prevent me from stopping by to catch their free set if I happened to be there. But they can be seen at many lesser venues around Wisconsin, including a recent Pridefest - so why waste a day at the Big Gig on them?





Nor would I empty my wallet for George Strait, although I acknowledge him as a fine artist. I'm over country. It sounds fine, but their overuse of the chorus gets tiresome. However, Mr. Strait does hold the honor of being the artist who sang our wedding song in '96. Not in person, of course, as at the time I was not the World Famous blogger I am now. Even so, "I Cross my Heart" will forevermore hold a special place in the Slapinions household.

Our love is unconditional, we knew it from the start.
I see it in your eyes, you can feel it from my heart.
From here on after let's stay the way we are right now,
And share all the love and laughter
That a lifetime will allow.

I cross my heart and promise to
Give all I've got to give to make all your dreams come true.
In all the world you'll never find a love as true as mine.

You will always be the miracle that makes my life complete,
And as long as there's a breath in me, I'll make yours just as sweet.
As we look into the future, it's as far as we can see,
So let's make each tomorrow be the best that it can be.

I cross my heart and promise to
Give all I've got to give to make all your dreams come true.
In all the world you'll never find a love as true as mine.

And if along the way we find a day it starts to storm,
You've got the promise of my love to keep you warm.
In all the world you'll never find a love as true as mine,
A love as true as mine.

Fond memories there. Still, The Gufs aside, I'd say Monday is as good a day as any to avoid the festival grounds.

Billy Mays of OxiClean Fame, Dead at 50

CNN is reporting that Billy Mays, the popular bearded pitchman for OxiClean and other products, as well as a star of his own reality series, was found dead in his Tampa home at age 50.

Saturday Mays had been on a jet that made a distressed landing when a tire blew out. He told a local Tampa reporter (emphasis mine):

"All of a sudden as we hit you know it was just the hardest hit, all the things from the ceiling started dropping. It hit me on the head, but I got a hard head."

An autopsy will be performed to identify the cause of death, and the airline has stated they will co-operate fully. RIP Billy - I think you were a lovable and believable salesman for a great product.

:)

Trying to Facebook while the baby hangs on my leg, jabbing a pencil at the screen and chating "Momma" as she points at my profile pic.

Who's Playing Summerfest - Sunday June 28

Ok, this is the first time this year I'd choose to see the headlining act at the Marcus Amphitheater. I really enjoy Better than Ezra, and Blues Traveler would be neat, but c'mon - ya gotta pick Stevie! Not only is he a legend, it's mere days after Michael Jackson's death. Is there anyone out there who *doesn't * think he'll kick it up a notch and play tribute to his friend? Hell, if I had the money, I'd be there. I think it'll be a hell of a show.

Furry Foxes, Cussing Customers, and Annoying Applebees

Lisa and I just returned from a rare dinner out. The experience itself sucked, as the staff at the local Applebee's was more concerned with singing along to Bohemian Rhapsody than taking orders or delivering drinks. Really though, who cares? A dinner sans kids is a great dinner no matter the surroundings.

* * * *

On the way to dinner we saw a pair of foxes in our neighborhood. To those of you in the country this may not be a rare occurence, but this is a city of 600,000 people. I've never seen a fox before outside of cartoons. I took some camera-phone pics, but I doubt they'll turn out given the lighting conditions. The pair wasextremely bold, just lounging on a front lawn and watching traffic, then darting into the street and strolling past our van.

Back at job prior we had woodland behind the building, and at night I'd sometimes run into coyotes. But foxes, that's new to me. But apparently not new to Smiley, who was adament that he saw one cross our street last month. " 'ox, 'ox" he's say over and over, nodding his head vigourously.

I guess the little guy was right.

That brings the wildlife total here to:

1. assorted birds, including morning doves and robins.
2. foxes
3. racoons
4. skunks
5. field mice
6. and, once, a deer

* * * *

Speaking of Job Prior, today's workday featured a flashback experience, one that was all too common back in the day. Any readers from that workplace will nod their head in agreement.

I was at work finishing a sale when a young guy came in, cut ahead of two other people and interrupted me. No ifs or buts about this, it was plain as day. He physically moved ahead of people to get my attention. Does that behavior normally work? Do salespeople or waiters just drop their current customer and bow to him? Has someone encouraged this behavior in the past?

I told him he'd have to wait his turn , the same as I'd say to anyone else (and in fact, did say to someone later in the day). It was like flipping a light switch. Boom, he began swearing at me, finishing with "you're a racist motherfu**er".

[I think technically I should insert a comma there, as I think his intent was to call me a racist and a motherfu*ker, rather than just a common everyday racist motherfu*ker. ]

Now as usual I don't detail what I do for a living, as it's become my quirky signature not to shit where I eat. But rest assured, in my employer's sedate oasis of liberal thought such behavior is neither common nor warranted. Frankly, I find it hard to imagine anyone even getting worked up enough to say "ouch" if they stub their toe there, much less go off swearing.

Well, customers went off for "help", management came out, etc. but by then I had already finished the encounter. He left unhappy, and I continued work a little pissy. But the powers that be were very concerned about the conflict escalating. "Keep your cool Dan, " I was told. "If there are any more problems we'll call the police. Don't think it was your fault, that man was so out of line, blah blah."

I was pissed off, but their concern was almost as irritating. I consider myself extremely blessed to have gone seven months without someone swearing/screaming/threatening me at work, and am very happy to be out of a profession where those encounters were (surprisingly) standard issue. But I spent six years dealing with much worse crap on 3rd shift, and another three years handling a diminished amount of it during the day. I'm not going to cry, and I'm not going to go crazy and start swinging.

Anyway, this wasn't a big deal, and in truth took up all of four minutes out of an eight hour shift. I'm not sure why it's even stuck in my head long enough to write about it, except that I think I now have a deeper appreciation for a polite workplace. Roughly 65% of any asshole behavior I display on a given day is due to Job Prior. While I'm poor and getting poorer, I guess there are legitimate pluses in having that job yanked out from underneath me.

When God closes a door, yada yada.

A Rare Dinner Out

Just got back from a rare dinner out with Lisa. One kid at grandma's, one at my sis, two watched at home with a babysitter.

How to Use Twitter to outwit Tehran

For many of you this is old news, and I know Beth over at Nutwood went ahead and did this several days ago. But to quote from another blog:

If you use Twitter, set your location to Tehran & your time zone to GMT +3.30. Iranian security forces are hunting for bloggers using location/timezone searches. The more people at this location, the more of a logjam it creates for forces trying to shut down Iranians' access to the internet. Cut & paste & pass it on.

At that blog there's a debate going on in the comments. Here's the skinny: one commenter argued that the Twitter action is equal to choosing sides in the conflict. Since neither Iranian candidate is all that palatable, and the public isn't well versed in the issues over there, should we really risk backing anyone? What if we're making things worse?

Here was my response:

I don't 'tweet', but I think it's a fine idea. Taking sides (and in a benign and harmless way) against a regime that is rigging elections and crushing dissent would seem to be the morally correct thing to do. Could it wind up being a "get rid of Batista and get a Castro"? Possibly. But if it happens it won't be because some American bloggers chose to adjust their Tweeter accounts.

I say go ahead and tweet, and give current regime in Tehran all the headaches they can handle.

Who's Playing at Summerfest - June 27th

I suppose I should pay homage to KISS as they headline the main stage, but alas they're before my time. The closest anyone I know came to fandom was Joey Nowak, who brought a KISS LP to kindergarten show and tell. But in first grade he also swore he saw Santa delivering his Christmas presents, so I'm not sure his opinion is all that trustworthy.

Who's left (of the headliners)? I'm sick to death of the local BoDeans, so I'd go with Barenaked Ladies. I saw them in 2004 and they were a blast. I believe they're out promoting a children's record they did, of all things, and I guarantee the concert will be a hoot.

Just got home from work. Tired and my feet ache.

Revisiting Michael Jackson

I have to do a quick add-on to my Michael Jackson post. This morning I had to take LuLu to a doctor appointment, and on the way the radio was playing MJ all over the dial. I pointed out each of his songs as they came on, and after a good half dozen LuLu asked why he had "soooo many" songs. "Because he started singing when he was your age," I said. "And never really stopped." When we were in the doctor's waiting room the radio was once again playing Jackson. And right then I got to thinking about how much talent he had and about his stage presence. I thought about the sheer volume of quality work he put out there, and how it spans my entire lifetime. I'm not sure I was 100% genuine when I closed the last post with 'Rest in Peace', but I am now. Whatever your faults and your sins, you gave this world a lot of joy Michael. Thank you, and Rest in Peace.

Who's Playing Summerfest - Friday June 26th

Keith Urban's the big draw tonight, but if I had my choice of free tickets I'd see The Offspring. For a bit of the unusual, check out Buckwheat Zydeco and his cajun flair. I first saw him on Letterman maybe twenty years ago, and I've never forgotten him. I doubt you will either.







.

Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, is dead at 50.

This is old news to you by now. And in truth it doesn't make much of an impact on my life, since I was never a big fan. I have Thriller and even a copy of HIStory, but that's about the extent of things. But there's certain events you're obliged to record, and this is one of them. Ed McMahon dies, eh, it's sad but life goes on. Elvis dies, Michael Jackson dies, Princess Diana dies, well you better remember what you were doing that day. Me, I was at work when Lisa texted my phone. "Is it true? Is Michael gone?" she wrote. I had no clue who or what she was talking about, and answered with a perturbed "?", but soon my sister called to break the news. My family's always been quick on the "Guess who just died!" calls. Would it have been 'better' for Jackson's place in history if he'd passed away ten or fifteen years ago, before he slipped completely off the deep end, and before the sex abuse trial? We'll never know, but I imagine he'll always reign as the King of '80's pop, controversy's be damned. Lisa and I have always wanted to see each member of the Trinity of Pop - Prince, Madonna, and Michael Jackson - in concert. Now, sadly, we'll have to settle for two out of three. RIP.

On Angels and Demons

As long as I'm post happy today let's get this out of the way. Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol is due out in September, and the Angels and Demons movie has resurrected interest in the novel of the same name.

Sure, Ron Howard and Brown both claim the works are "pure fiction" and not "anti-Catholic" but let's get real here. Brown sells it as 'historically' based, and if you zoned out in your history classes you may walk away thinking you learned something from Brown. If you did, it wasn't history, religion, or proper science.

Full disclosure: Sure, I'm Catholic. Big wup. Lots of people harp on my religion for all kinds of reasons, commercial and otherwise, and you don't hear me complaining. And I gave Brown a chance, I really did. I've read two or three of his novels, including Da Vinci and Angels.

Perhaps that's why Brown annoys and angers me so much: not only are his facts wrong, but I think he's a lousy writer. Angels was better than Da Vinci, but I wouldn't rank either as a work of art or even quality pop fiction. That's subjective of course, but I've read enough to recogize talent, even in books I don't care about. I don't see it in Brown.



If you click on the image above you'll be taken to a site where you can download a conversational rebuttal to some of Brown's charges. With the knowledge that very few of you will take the time to do that, let me reprint something gleamed from a different site:

Brown claims: Copernicus was murdered by the Catholic Church.

Fact: Copernicus died quietly in bed at age 70 from a stroke, and his research was supported by Church officials; he even dedicated his masterwork to the Pope.

Brown claims: “Antimatter is the ultimate energy source. It releases energy with 100% efficiency.”

Fact: CERN, the lab which plays an important role in his story, actually debunked this claim on their website: “The inefficiency of antimatter production is enormous: you get only a tenth of a billion of the invested energy back.”

Brown claims: Churchill was a “staunch Catholic.”

Fact: Any history buff could tell you that Churchill wasn’t Catholic, he was Anglican; nor was he particularly religious. The only things Churchill was staunch about were cigars, whiskey, and defending the British Empire.

Brown claims: Pope Urban VII banished Bernini’s famous statue The Ecstasy of St. Teresa “to some obscure chapel across town” because it was too racy for the Vatican.

Fact: The statue was actually commissioned by Cardinal Cornaro specifically for the Cornaro Chapel (Brown’s “obscure chapel”). Moreover, the sculpture was completed in 1652 — eight years after Urban’s death.

Brown claims: Bernini and famed scientist Galileo were members of the Illuminati.

Fact: The Illuminati was founded in Bavaria in 1776. Bernini died in 1680, while Galileo died in 1642 — more than a century before the Illuminati were first formed.

Brown's too damn popular right now for me to hold a grudge against the folks that line his pocket by buying his product, but I've got to say my piece. He's a hack and in his own way a purveyor of prejudice and division, and he'll get no money from me.

Farrah Fawcett Dead at 62

Farrah Fawcett, '70's icon and star of TV's Charlie's Angels, died this morning after battling cancer. She was 62.

My clearest memories of her are from watching The Burning Bed in the mid '90's. I was never into Farrah, as she was a bit before my time, although I do remember an episode of Charlie's Angels were she was kept captive in a steam bath. Even though I was a kid of five or six I remember being . . . impressed.

RIP.

Today's Summerfest Lineup - June 25th

Today's the start of Summerfest, Milwaukee's annual music festival down at the lakefront. It's perhaps best known outside the state as the event where George Carlin was arrested for doing his "Seven Words" routine.

I'm not a big fan of crowds, drunks, or spending the day baking in 85 degree heat, so it isn't my preferred activity. But I'm definitely in the minority, so with that in mind here's today's headliners, led by Bon Jovi and Puddle of Mudd. Personally I'd skip 'em all and go see the Meat Puppets at the U.S. Cellular stage at 8 p.m.

Enjoy the show!

Construction paper scrolls and home Perms - all in one tidy post!

Another reason to be annoyed at Sprint: sometimes my camera phone pictures are nice and crisp and large, and sometimes (without changing settings) they are available only as tiny little sticker sized doodads. I have yet to puzzle out the reasons for this change, but please bear with the pics in this post.

Before I introduce LuLu's new 'do, here's a picture taken when the family joined me on my lunch break last week. Smiley had decorated several different colored sheets of construction paper, taped them together end to end, and rolled them up like a scroll. He was very proud of his work and insisted on unveiling it wherever he went.

Now on to LuLu. She's been asking to change her hair forever, and while the choices were once between short hair and a perm, YaYa's bob settled matters. For Lu duplicating YaYa was a revolting prospect, and so the day they visited me for lunch Lisa and her Mom permed Lu's hair.



I think it turned out pretty well. I was imagining a big Little Orphan Annie hairdo, and was unbelievably relieved when I got off of work and saw the result. Lisa was happy too; after countless bad perms in her own childhood, she was ecstatic that LuLu's hair wasn't completely butchered.

You're a cutie Lu!

Whew

Just emailed my column to the Journal, with a little time to spare. Not the easiest one to write, but I think it turned out ok. Oh, and LSU took the College World Series w/ a lopsided win today, so congrats to them. Woulda preferred Texas to win the crown

Update: Just emailed my column to the Journal, with a little time to spare. Not the easiest one to write, but I think it turned out ok. Oh, and LSU took the College World Series w/ a lopsided win today, so congrats to them. Woulda preferred Texas to win the crown

On newsprint, North Korea, and LSU

So far two people online and one in the 'real' world have told me Brett Favre's officially a Viking, but I've seen butkus on any legit news site. So for the time being, I withhold judgement.

* * * *

Congrats to LSU on your College World Series victory. That's aways from being heartfelt, since I was hoping for a Texas win, but I'll say this: LSU's Jared Mitchell, the White Sox first round draft pick, looks like the real deal. He is a bit rough around the edges tho'.

* * * * *

I just got done writing a column for the Journal. About a month ago they asked if the 'regular' contributors could back off a bit to allow some of the other writers a chance. Okey-dokey.

Then a week ago a new email went out from the editor. That idea hadn't gone so well and there was now a shortage of material. They were also asking for someone to pick up a column for the 4th of July. I pitched an idea, but the request had come in while I was at work and I was late in answering. Here was the editor's response:

Hi Dan, I’ve picked another column to run on July 3, but I like this angle you suggest (tying in Iran demonstrations) and would like to publish yours on the same week (probably Thurs. July 2).

Could you write this up and get it to me by that same deadline so that I could have it edited and ready to go . . . If that’s a problem, please let me know. Thanks.

I'm not complaining, because Lord knows I feel blessed each and every time they put my name in the paper, but this one was hard to write. The deadline was today, the 25th, which meant a seven day lag between the day it was written and publication. That's fine, except I was supposed to be writing about the protests in Iran. I assume by the 2nd the government will do a fine and bloody job on suppressing the protesters there - but what if I was wrong?

In the end I decided I was over thinking it and plunged ahead. Ergh, we'll see how it reads in newsprint.

* * * *

Today marks the 59th anniversary of the North Korean invasion of the South. It strikes me as an ominous thing to remember as the North again ratchets up the "my d*ck is bigger than yours" rhetoric by threatening war, but that's a matter for another day.

Today, I wish to extend a sincere thank you to any and all veterans of that conflict.